Orb Posted July 14, 2022 Share Posted July 14, 2022 Most of my career will involve socializing. Would it be better to wing it or to understand how to speak with people? I will admit I suspect I'm slightly autistic although I do have adhd which can seem similar to autism. I mention this because it can explain some of my social hiccups: -Sometimes I'll say something that will offend someone when I didn't mean to and I'll be clueless about it. -When I'm in social situations I don't know what to say. -I don't understand how go build relationships with people, boundaries, etc. Quote Mention ♾️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteOwl Posted July 14, 2022 Share Posted July 14, 2022 I think its very easy to over-complicate everything with the information overload we get, and the self-help market. Looking at the question, "understand how to speak with people", thats what we learn 1 year olds, you know how to speak very well i'm sure 😄 If you offend people and they let you know, its good to make notice and pay attention to change that pattern. I also sometimes fear not knowing what to say, but the more i focus on that perspective that worse it gets, so i try to put focus on something else like the positive things about the persons i interact with. Anything but "i don't know what to say". It might take a little practice but try to watch for whenever you tell yourself that story and just drop it and focus on something else. A relationship is not something you build with bricks which is why there is no manual like that. What would you like from someone else to be in a relationship? Someone who feels great and who is interested in stuff comes to mind here. If you feel good and use your time on things you like i am sure that will attract more relationships than understanding 400 pages about "how to build a relationship". It will come naturally. Social interacting is too complex to only be understood in words, you will first learn by putting yourself out there and talking to people. I think that will be the best teacher. Thats what i think at least 🙂 Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted July 15, 2022 Author Share Posted July 15, 2022 2 hours ago, WhiteOwl said: Social interacting is too complex to only be understood in words, you will first learn by putting yourself out there and talking to people. I think that will be the best teacher. Thats what i think at least 🙂 @WhiteOwl this was really good! Thank you 🙏 Quote Mention ♾️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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