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Is there any Value to Learning Social Skills?


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Most of my career will involve socializing. 

 

Would it be better to wing it or to understand how to speak with people?

 

I will admit I suspect I'm slightly autistic although I do have adhd which can seem similar to autism.

 

I mention this because it can explain some of my social hiccups:

 

-Sometimes I'll say something that will offend someone when I didn't mean to and I'll be clueless about it.

 

-When I'm in social situations I don't know what to say.

 

-I don't understand how go build relationships with people, boundaries, etc. 

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I think its very easy to over-complicate everything with the information overload we get, and the self-help market. Looking at the question, "understand how to speak with people", thats what we learn 1 year olds, you know how to speak very well i'm sure 😄 

 

If you offend people and they let you know, its good to make notice and pay attention to change that pattern.

 

I also sometimes fear not knowing what to say, but the more i focus on that perspective that worse it gets, so i try to put focus on something else like the positive things about the persons i interact with. Anything but "i don't know what to say". It might take a little practice but try to watch for whenever you tell yourself that story and just drop it and focus on something else.

 

A relationship is not something you build with bricks which is why there is no manual like that. What would you like from someone else to be in a relationship? Someone who feels great and who is interested in stuff comes to mind here. If you feel good and use your time on things you like i am sure that will attract more relationships than understanding 400 pages about "how to build a relationship". It will come naturally.

 

Social interacting is too complex to only be understood in words, you will first learn by putting yourself out there and talking to people. I think that will be the best teacher. Thats what i think at least 🙂

 

 

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2 hours ago, WhiteOwl said:

 Social interacting is too complex to only be understood in words, you will first learn by putting yourself out there and talking to people. I think that will be the best teacher. Thats what i think at least 🙂

@WhiteOwl this was really good! Thank you 🙏

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