The Difference Between what I think Feels good and what Actually Feels Good

[Orb]

I realized theres a difference between what I think Feels good and what Actually Feels Good.

 

For example, when it comes to washing dishes I hate it! But it actually feels good! The direct experience of the sink being empty and shiny is awesome!

 

Pretty groundbreaking for me path-wise, may be obvious to some lol. 

 

Where do we draw the line when it comes to using thoughts to gauge what feels good, and the actual direct experience of that thing (remember the dishes example)?

 

Maybe theres a lot of stuff that we think feels horrible but in direct experience, it feels great?

 

Suspect im following some breadcrumbs here, I suspect this is leading into the understanding of what aligning thought with feeling means, aligning those two pieces (thought/feeling).

Edited July 3, 2022 by Orb

[fopylo]

@Orb Yeah it's kinda crazy. I like to see it as though there is context and content, the emotion being the context within it having the content (thoughts). The content is really irrelevant. It's about the emotion. You could imagine death scenes from movies you saw (or just conjure up some brutal image) and experience the emotion of happiness. In this example, the meaning 'brutal' probably won't mean shit because this isn't the meaning which gives you this happiness. Perhaps it reminds you of something competitive, the excitement or coolness in such scenes. You might be a psychopath for that, but again, this is only judgement. In the face of all of judgement there is what is real, and that is how you feel regarding the content.

[Orb]

@fopylo I can see kinda what you mean.

 

Like watching an awesome anime with bodies being chopped to pieces, yet marveling at the good artwork and how badass it looks.

[fopylo]

@Orb yeah

Curious what anime comes to mind haha

[Orb]

@fopylo I haven't really seen much lately except for this show called Space Dandy. 

 

Easily one of my favorite shows know, it's wild, ridiculous, and badass at the same time. I'd highly recommend, each episode is so unique.

 

I've seen some of the classics yk like dbz, naruto, some of hunter x hunter. 

 

Or my hero academia!

 

These shows are filled with blood and violence, yet people feel empowered or amazed when they watch it.

 

I've seen a few other animes but I can't remember their names rn.

[fopylo]

@Orb

4 minutes ago, Orb said:

I've seen some of the classics yk like dbz, naruto, some of hunter x hunter. 

 

Or my hero academia!

Great ones

[Phil]

14 hours ago, Orb said:

Maybe theres a lot of stuff that we think feels horrible but in direct experience, it feels great?

Yes, like with responsibility, often having connotations / thoughts of a separate self in time, and the ‘weight’ of the ‘story’… vs response ability, as the ability & opportunity to actually respond… which is always available, and yet only ever available - now. (We can never actually respond to a past or future.)

 

But thoughts arise, about past & future… so perhaps the key is the recognition that in those cases what’s responded to is the thought, because it’s always only ever ‘now’… and a past or future is never actually responded to - but a different thought can always be focused on now. This might sound like ‘what I am actually focusing on is the believing of this thought, which is discordant… and the recognition it is a thought, and is not actually a past or future. 

 

An example that comes to mind is ‘anxiety’ in relation to thoughts about going to a social event… as compared to most often, the relief, connectedness, relating & energy of the direct experience, resulting in being glad one went. In thought there is sometimes ‘what if this’ ‘what if that’… but in direct experience when it comes to social gatherings, there is what is, and no potential for what if rumination.

 

Maybe another lens is that we look for certainty in a past or future for comfort, safety, reassurance, grounding… while what’s certain is that the past & future are thoughts.

 

I use the light quotes on ‘anxiety’ hoping to denote it’s the discord with the thought about a past, future, or separate self in time which is felt, and not a ‘second thing’, not something ‘one has’, and not something that ‘is wrong with me’.