Forza21 Posted May 31, 2022 Share Posted May 31, 2022 (edited) I have a very hard time loving my family. I feel like this stands on the way to love. I have a lot of anger and grief, what values were planted into my brain when i was a kid. It was a pretty decent family, but my mother suffered from depression and anxiety, and now i have pretty much the same issues, constant fear about life in general. I have some very traumatic memories. Back then, my mother many times, threatened, that she would commit suicide. She would cry and scream every week. For 7-8 years old, it was devastating. To the point, that one time, I physically hurt myself, because of fear and pain related to those events. My mother has changed, she has cured herself, she's happy now, but i can't get close to her anyway. I feel annoyed whenever we meet, i throw away all her attempts to get close to me. I avoid her love. I can't love her. Plus, i feel like she doesn't understand anything i'm going through. Same with dad. They simply don't get it. I tried to tell her what happened and how it was hard for me. She rejects it, and changes subject every time. She doesn't understand how it might affect me. I had many approaches to change it, but i go back to "old". I would like to heal it, but i don't how. Thanks, Edited May 31, 2022 by Forza21 Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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