I don't know what to do

[Phil]

@noomii

🙏🏼 ♥️

 

Unicorns, Bigfoot, leprechauns, the spaghetti monster and the one who could see this. None of those have ever been seen. Yet there can be said to be a fear of. And then something, anything & everything. That’s how fear works. The mind will claim fear is of some thing. Some person, some possible event, misstep or outcome. Any thing. It’s the mind thingifying, objectifying, trying to hang on to status quo. 

 

That some thing is like a monster in the closet. While there are just the thoughts about the closet, and it’s believed there’s a monster in the closet - fear is felt. It’s guidance felt about whether there’s a monster in the closet or not, but it’s unconditional. Looking in the closet and finding that it’s empty - fear is not felt, and beliefs aren’t relevant or necessary. The closet is self-evidently, unmistakably empty, regardless of any beliefs about what’s in the closet. 

 

Trusting in feeling when allowing a belief to be confronted can seem scary.  But trusting in feeling when allowing a belief to be confronted - is what dispels the belief, revealing the empty closet. 

[A Tim]

1 hour ago, noomii said:

How do I see this?

Thank you for all the help.

I dunno. 

 

Do like cookies? 

The other day, I was messing around with this fun kind of thing. My wife had baked some cookies for the wee ones. I snuck a couple, naturally. 

 

I would close my eyes and think about what the cookie tastes like. Texture on the tongue, temperature... really gin it up a bit. 

Then, I'd bite a piece. 

Then, I'd try and find a relationship between the thinking of it and the it, so to speak.

 

If you're a masochist, you could try it with broccoli. 

[noomii]

On 10/11/2024 at 6:59 PM, Phil said:

@noomii

🙏🏼 ♥️

 

Unicorns, Bigfoot, leprechauns, the spaghetti monster and the one who could see this. None of those have ever been seen. Yet there can be said to be a fear of. And then something, anything & everything. That’s how fear works. The mind will claim fear is of some thing. Some person, some possible event, misstep or outcome. Any thing. It’s the mind thingifying, objectifying, trying to hang on to status quo. 

 

That some thing is like a monster in the closet. While there are just the thoughts about the closet, and it’s believed there’s a monster in the closet - fear is felt. It’s guidance felt about whether there’s a monster in the closet or not, but it’s unconditional. Looking in the closet and finding that it’s empty - fear is not felt, and beliefs aren’t relevant or necessary. The closet is self-evidently, unmistakably empty, regardless of any beliefs about what’s in the closet. 

 

Trusting in feeling when allowing a belief to be confronted can seem scary.  But trusting in feeling when allowing a belief to be confronted - is what dispels the belief, revealing the empty closet. 

❤️

 

Is looking in the closet same as direct experience? Look where I can find "I, me, mine, myself" in direct experience?

 

23 hours ago, A Tim said:

I dunno. 

 

Do like cookies? 

The other day, I was messing around with this fun kind of thing. My wife had baked some cookies for the wee ones. I snuck a couple, naturally. 

 

I would close my eyes and think about what the cookie tastes like. Texture on the tongue, temperature... really gin it up a bit. 

Then, I'd bite a piece. 

Then, I'd try and find a relationship between the thinking of it and the it, so to speak.

 

If you're a masochist, you could try it with broccoli. 

 

I don't know what to say 🙂

[Phil]

31 minutes ago, noomii said:

Is looking in the closet same as direct experience?

 

Yes - looking in the closet is looking at direct experience, to see if what ‘the mind’ claims to be true - is in fact true or actual at all. 

 

A simple example… a thought arises about a task or meeting at work tomorrow, and a discordant emotion is felt.

 

The “closet” in this example is “tomorrow” - where the mind is claiming the discord felt is happening, coming from or about.

 

Checking direct experience - it’s clear there is no actuality of “tomorrow” - right now, presently - and this reveals the discord is how the thought feels - which is presently experienced - and that the discord is not “how tomorrow’s meeting feels”.

 

This allows the opportunity of alignment of the thought with feeling, via the guidance of emotion felt - which btw actually dictates how “tomorrow’s meeting” is going to go, because it’s not separate - it’s this, unfolding. So This, is aligned, in aligning the thought with feeling.  

 

Might seem weird, or like discordant thoughts & emotions would dictate this like resonating thoughts & emotions do - but the discordant thoughts or emotions - don’t. This is because the discord is basically pointing out - “not me”, and the alignment resonates as - Yep, Me. There is only one source and it is GOOD - there is no source of bad, evil, etc (illusion). 

 

 

 

 

 

31 minutes ago, noomii said:

Look where I can find "I, me, mine, myself" in direct experience?

EXACTLY! Yes!

 

Using the same example…

 

“I might say this or that and feel embarrassment tomorrow”.  Wait - where’s the one that thought’s about - right here, right now - presently?

 

”Someone might say something mean to me or about me and hurt my feelings”. Oh wait - where’s that me this thought is about? 

 

[A Tim]

You could also eat a cookie

[noomii]

On 10/12/2024 at 7:43 PM, Phil said:

This allows the opportunity of alignment of the thought with feeling, via the guidance of emotion felt - which btw actually dictates how “tomorrow’s meeting” is going to go, because it’s not separate - it’s this, unfolding. So This, is aligned, in aligning the thought with feeling.  

 

Might seem weird, or like discordant thoughts & emotions would dictate this like resonating thoughts & emotions do - but the discordant thoughts or emotions - don’t. This is because the discord is basically pointing out - “not me”, and the alignment resonates as - Yep, Me. There is only one source and it is GOOD - there is no source of bad, evil, etc (illusion).

 

It's confusing when you write that the emotion felt dictates how tomorrow's meeting is going to go and then later you write that discordant thoughts or emotions don't?

 

Thanks

[Phil]

@noomii

How so?

 

[noomii]

27 minutes ago, Phil said:

@noomii

How so?

 

 

On 10/12/2024 at 7:43 PM, Phil said:

Might seem weird, or like discordant thoughts & emotions would dictate this like resonating thoughts & emotions do - but the discordant thoughts or emotions - don’t. 

Why would it seem weird? Isn't it obvious?

I'm not sure what I mean myself, I'm not thinking clearly. Sorry 😂

[Phil]

@noomii

For sure, it’s not weird and it is obvious. It can seem too good to be true. 
♥️

[noomii]

@Phil I'm sorry for venting here, it's a mess.

I feel a lot of pessimism and not much seem to work out for me. I'm managing my time so badly, I've been very unproductive ever since I came to my parents over a week ago.

I haven't even read some important letters that was sent to me over a week ago. 

I tried to make the emotional scale work again but it makes me feel worse, not in a releasing way.

I feel nausea by everything I eat and I feel sore by my heart.

 

I don't know what to ask that you haven't already answered. I just feel so bad.

[Phil]

38 minutes ago, noomii said:

@Phil I'm sorry for venting here, it's a mess.

Doesn’t seem like venting, and - allow the mess! 

What you want, which is manifesting, often does look like a big ol mess at first, as beliefs to the contrary of whats wanted are flushed out. 

 

38 minutes ago, noomii said:

I feel a lot of pessimism and not much seem to work out for me.

Call horseshit horseshit. The ego is not your friend. Everything is working out for you - and this is - everything working out for you - mess as it may presently seem - it is everything working out for you. 

 

Just - pessimism is felt. The guidance of pessimism. Not “a lot”. Be on your own team, be your biggest supporter! Self-compassion. ♥️

 

38 minutes ago, noomii said:

I'm managing my time so badly,

Point to the one that judgemental thought is about. Can’t be done because that’s a thought about a sep self, and is only a thought, and is not a self. 

You’re The One feeling that thought. 

 

38 minutes ago, noomii said:

I've been very unproductive ever since I came to my parents over a week ago.

There’s no past. How’s that story presently feel? Great or not great?

 

38 minutes ago, noomii said:

I haven't even read some important letters that was sent to me over a week ago. 

Read em. Beliefs which slow down the manifesting of what’s wanted are triggered to be flushed out, by ‘everyday normal’ activities. 

Align thought with feeling, and it’s clear there is no monster in the closet. 

Just take a few minutes and read the letters, and it’s clear there’s no monster in the closet. 

 

38 minutes ago, noomii said:

I tried to make the emotional scale work again but it makes me feel worse, not in a releasing way.

The scale isn’t about making the scale work. The scale does work. The emotion experienced is blame. Allow blame to be felt - simply notice when an emotion is conceptualized, such as blaming - “it makes me feel x, y or z”. No, it doesn’t. There is no outer or exterior anything whatsoever - which makes you feel this way or that - whatsoever - absolutely. 

 

What the scale is for, is what’s felt - that thought about the scale, and a sep self. 

 

Blame, and release - are obscured by the thought about the scale, blaming, and a sep self. 

 

38 minutes ago, noomii said:

I feel nausea by everything I eat and I feel sore by my heart.

These things you’re saying about yourself aren’t true, and body wise these thoughts are indigestible. This is the bodily working perfectly. 

Listen to the body & feeling, rather than thoughts… concepts about the body and feeling. 

 

38 minutes ago, noomii said:

 

I don't know what to ask that you haven't already answered.

I just feel so bad.

That is a belief. It is not true. Every cell in the body, and feeling as well - are well aware that isn’t true. 

 

Blame is an emotion. Emotion is how thoughts feel. Sit with blame. Allow it to be fully felt. 

[A Tim]

Do they have slush puppies where you live? I imagine they have some delectable slushy-like beverage. I'm not sponsored or anything, so don't get the wrong impression. 

 

You should drink one. Look at it. What color are you getting?! Consider what it tastes like, how it will feel on the tongue. How cold will it be? Wonder if a brain freeze will happen. What is a brain freeze, anyway? Let's worry about it for a minute. Conjure one up; A projection of you having a debilitating brain freeze. 

 

Then slurp the everlovingshit out of that puppy. BAM!!!!! WHOOOOOO!!! LET IT KNOCK YOUR FECKING SOCKS OFF AND GO FOR A RIIIIIIIIIDE. 

 

 

Is thinking about the slushy, smooth sensations as you mentally slurped, anything at all like lapping up the luscious liquid of semi-icy, sugary goodness? What's the relationship betwixt them? Compare and contrast. Consider and be. Think and do. Ponder and pontificate. 

 

Cherry is my jam, but you do you. 

Edited October 15 by A Tim
Flair required

[Kevin]

17 hours ago, A Tim said:

Do they have slush puppies where you live? I imagine they have some delectable slushy-like beverage. I'm not sponsored or anything, so don't get the wrong impression. 

 

You should drink one. Look at it. What color are you getting?! Consider what it tastes like, how it will feel on the tongue. How cold will it be? Wonder if a brain freeze will happen. What is a brain freeze, anyway? Let's worry about it for a minute. Conjure one up; A projection of you having a debilitating brain freeze. 

 

Then slurp the everlovingshit out of that puppy. BAM!!!!! WHOOOOOO!!! LET IT KNOCK YOUR FECKING SOCKS OFF AND GO FOR A RIIIIIIIIIDE. 

 

 

Is thinking about the slushy, smooth sensations as you mentally slurped, anything at all like lapping up the luscious liquid of semi-icy, sugary goodness? What's the relationship betwixt them? Compare and contrast. Consider and be. Think and do. Ponder and pontificate. 

 

Cherry is my jam, but you do you. 

What country are you in where they call them slush puppies? In America we have icee’s (the best kind) and we have slushee’s and frazil. I think the best flavor is coke or blue raspberry

[noomii]

23 hours ago, Phil said:

There’s no past. How’s that story presently feel? Great or not great?

Not great.

 

23 hours ago, Phil said:

Read em. Beliefs which slow down the manifesting of what’s wanted are triggered to be flushed out, by ‘everyday normal’ activities. 

Align thought with feeling, and it’s clear there is no monster in the closet. 

Just take a few minutes and read the letters, and it’s clear there’s no monster in the closet. 

I read them. I can only imagine how judged I am and I'm not going to explain why I didn't do it 

 

23 hours ago, Phil said:

 

The scale isn’t about making the scale work. The scale does work. The emotion experienced is blame. Allow blame to be felt - simply notice when an emotion is conceptualized, such as blaming - “it makes me feel x, y or z”. No, it doesn’t. There is no outer or exterior anything whatsoever - which makes you feel this way or that - whatsoever - absolutely. 

 

 

 

What the scale is for, is what’s felt - that thought about the scale, and a sep self. 

 

Blame, and release - are obscured by the thought about the scale, blaming, and a sep self. 

What's so frustrating is that I just want to release all the beliefs about how I'm not good enough, but most of what I'm focused on when using the scale are thoughts about the scale (discouragement, pessimism, frustration, disappointment, doubt, blame, impatience, overwhelment). As well as other beliefs that seem to be irrelevant, that's what makes me think the emotional scale is distracting me.

 

I'm just really wondering if using it is ever going to feel easier?

Seems like the emotional scale is good because it brings up so much garbage?

 

The emotions and thoughts coming up that seem to be about the "emotional scale", is it really about the emotional scale? Maybe it's not at all about the scale I'm releasing but more so something more deeply repressed? If that makes sense. And when I have released that, then it will feel easy to go through the whole scale? What's your experience with this?

 

It feels pretty great to release the rage, anger, blame, revenge and irritation. Like I'm laying down more of the resentment I've been carrying around since I was little.

 

It's also good to always start from the bottom, I think fear is one of the emotions I've been avoiding the most? I don't think I have really allowed myself to feel it fully before using the scale. 

On powerlessness, I'm not even sure how that is supposed to feel like so I don't know if I'm even feeling it, I just imagine how it feels like, same with despair.

[noomii]

19 hours ago, A Tim said:

Do they have slush puppies where you live? I imagine they have some delectable slushy-like beverage. I'm not sponsored or anything, so don't get the wrong impression. 

 

You should drink one. Look at it. What color are you getting?! Consider what it tastes like, how it will feel on the tongue. How cold will it be? Wonder if a brain freeze will happen. What is a brain freeze, anyway? Let's worry about it for a minute. Conjure one up; A projection of you having a debilitating brain freeze. 

 

Then slurp the everlovingshit out of that puppy. BAM!!!!! WHOOOOOO!!! LET IT KNOCK YOUR FECKING SOCKS OFF AND GO FOR A RIIIIIIIIIDE. 

 

 

Is thinking about the slushy, smooth sensations as you mentally slurped, anything at all like lapping up the luscious liquid of semi-icy, sugary goodness? What's the relationship betwixt them? Compare and contrast. Consider and be. Think and do. Ponder and pontificate. 

 

Cherry is my jam, but you do you. 

😂 We don't have slushy puppie but we have something called slush that I liked as a kid.

 I didn't even do what you said before with the cookie, I just thought about how it would be. 

This is great advice though for what I experience, thanks 

 

[Phil]

47 minutes ago, noomii said:

I'm just really wondering if using it is ever going to feel easier?

The key is feeling isn’t in a future, so the resolve lies in the present. 

 

The scale is an inanimate object, and is not an entity which could actually be distracting. If, nonetheless, the scale is distractive & preventative of release - just drop it altogether. I don’t think that’s the case though. I think it’s bring blame up, and this isn’t fully acknowledged yet. Idk, but my hunch is the resistance (“will it ever be easier”) is to acknowledging blame & allowing it to be fully felt & processed. Sometimes if there’s a deep seated blaming, whether of yourself or annother, allowing blame to be felt as an emotion can be challenging. 

 

There may be a lot of momentum of blaming in that regard. But you’re at the helm - you can allow just a little to be felt at a time. There is no pressure, no urgency, no rush. 

 

57 minutes ago, noomii said:

I read them. I can only imagine how judged I am and I'm not going to explain why I didn't do it

That’s very true. You can only imagine how judged you are - because there is literally no one judging you. And you don’t have to explain nuthin to nobody that you don’t want to. 

 

58 minutes ago, noomii said:

What's so frustrating is that I just want to release all the beliefs about how I'm not good enough, but most of what I'm focused on when using the scale are thoughts about the scale (discouragement, pessimism, frustration, disappointment, doubt, blame, impatience, overwhelment). As well as other beliefs that seem to be irrelevant, that's what makes me think the emotional scale is distracting me.

The distraction is actually “frustrating”. “The scale is frustrating”, is a way of not allowing frustration to be acknowledged and felt - as an emotion. 

“It’s frustrating” is “it’s frustrating for me”. And there’s nothing wrong with that, It’s just the ‘old identity’ sneaking in, hanging on. “The me” - which there isn’t. 

 

58 minutes ago, noomii said:

Seems like the emotional scale is good because it brings up so much garbage?

YES! 

https://www.actualityofbeing.com/just-let-source-take-out-the-garbage

 

It’s going perfectly - it truly, really is. “Stuff” is coming up about frustration, blame etc - which wasn’t acknowledged before. There is a process underway, and it serves you entirely. That are ‘parts’ of the process where it’s very challenging, and doesn’t seem like it’s serving you or what you want - but it is. It so is. Your intuition is spot on. 

 

58 minutes ago, noomii said:

The emotions and thoughts coming up that seem to be about the "emotional scale", is it really about the emotional scale?

🙂 👍🏼 No it is not. It can just really seem like it is. 

 

58 minutes ago, noomii said:

Maybe it's not at all about the scale I'm releasing but more so something more deeply repressed?

YES.

 

58 minutes ago, noomii said:

If that makes sense. And when I have released that, then it will feel easy to go through the whole scale?

YES. Exactly. There will be less subjective view of “it’s hard”. There’s nothing wrong with expressing that it’s hard whatsoever. But it’s that coloring or interpretation which naturally subsides in allowing emotions to be acknowledged and felt. 

 

58 minutes ago, noomii said:

What's your experience with this?

Same, just different garbage. After using it for a while, it just became second nature. Garbage would just empty out, while being aware of / feeling the emotions. 

 

58 minutes ago, noomii said:

It feels pretty great to release the rage, anger, blame, revenge and irritation. Like I'm laying down more of the resentment I've been carrying around since I was little.

Wonderful. And so great to hear. 

 

58 minutes ago, noomii said:

It's also good to always start from the bottom, I think fear is one of the emotions I've been avoiding the most?

Yes, totally. ‘The mind’ has to avoid allowing fear to be felt, because ‘doing so’ reveals the reality of, the true ‘substance of’ “the mind”. ♥️

 

58 minutes ago, noomii said:

I don't think I have really allowed myself to feel it fully before using the scale. 

On powerlessness, I'm not even sure how that is supposed to feel like so I don't know if I'm even feeling it, I just imagine how it feels like, same with despair.

Divine timing is a ‘real thing’ so to speak. It’s all unfolding perfectly. If & when powerlessness is felt, acknowledged, and allowed to be fully felt, it’ll be the perfect timing. Don’t sweat it. 

[A Tim]

16 hours ago, Kevin said:

What country are you in where they call them slush puppies?

The United States.

 

[A Tim]

15 hours ago, noomii said:

 I didn't even do what you said before with the cookie, I just thought about how it would be. 

This is great advice though for what I experience, thanks 

Is there a possibility you're addicted to thinking about all of these things (emotions, cookies, slush puppies, judgement) instead of just experiencing?  A sort of hamster wheel for exercising something that keeps you (seemingly) feeling comfy cozy, but isn't serving you all that well? They are a poor approximation of the essence. 

[A Tim]

19 hours ago, noomii said:

 I didn't even do what you said before with the cookie, I just thought about how it would be. 

This is nuts. Don't you see? I think this pretty well sums up this entire thread - not relating to answering me, but to the entire thing. 

[noomii]

On 10/16/2024 at 10:11 PM, Phil said:

The key is feeling isn’t in a future, so the resolve lies in the present. 

The emotional scale feels like a hamster wheel now because it seems like I'm trying to get to a final destination 😕

 

On 10/16/2024 at 10:11 PM, Phil said:

The scale is an inanimate object, and is not an entity which could actually be distracting. If, nonetheless, the scale is distractive & preventative of release - just drop it altogether.

What you say here doesn't really make sense when the sentences contradict each other?

 

On 10/16/2024 at 10:11 PM, Phil said:

I think it’s bring blame up, and this isn’t fully acknowledged yet. Idk, but my hunch is the resistance (“will it ever be easier”) is to acknowledging blame & allowing it to be fully felt & processed. Sometimes if there’s a deep seated blaming, whether of yourself or annother, allowing blame to be felt as an emotion can be challenging. 

 

There may be a lot of momentum of blaming in that regard. But you’re at the helm - you can allow just a little to be felt at a time. There is no pressure, no urgency, no rush. 

I'm used to blaming but it doesn't really feel challenging to feel blame when using the scale. I think blaming something or someone other than me has been a way to avoid feeling guilt or unworthiness for doing something wrong or not being good enough?

I didn't even know that blame was an emotion before using the scale. I don't think we have a word for blame as an emotion in swedish, it's just a verb.

Emotion and feeling is the same in swedish.

 

On 10/16/2024 at 10:11 PM, Phil said:

That’s very true. You can only imagine how judged you are - because there is literally no one judging you.

I even feel insecurity thinking I can't be myself when I'm alone because of how clairvoyant I think you are and that you are most likely judging me. 😂

 

On 10/16/2024 at 10:11 PM, Phil said:

And you don’t have to explain nuthin to nobody that you don’t want to. 

I changed my mind. I didn't read it because it feels very difficult to mentally focus on anything. So I guess there are thoughts coming up before even doing it that feel resistant about how difficult it will feel to read and therefore I postpone it. It's not like it's just "a few minutes".

But I'm wondering if explaining how it feels difficult to focus on anything, labeling it or even mentioning it - is a way for the mind to avoid feeling the emotions that comes up with the thoughts about it? I have experienced this for over four years so it really seems like it has slowed down everything, very much so. Despite that I'm the most mentally focused now if I'm comparing to how it was.

 

On 10/16/2024 at 10:11 PM, Phil said:

Same, just different garbage. After using it for a while, it just became second nature. Garbage would just empty out, while being aware of / feeling the emotions. 

Did you also question the emotional scale and feeling resistant to it in the way I have shared?