Caring What People Think

[Reena]

7 minutes ago, Mandy said:

How do I know if I'm posting a photo for attention or if I'm posting it out of inspired sharing? Isn't there a big difference in feeling when sharing because your heart is full or sharing in the hope to fill it? Doesn't feeling tell me all I need to know? 

Sometimes we're guided by intellect. Emotions is not everything in the world. It's fundamentally flawed to believe that all guidance is emotions. It could lead to illogical interpretations. 

[Mandy]

@Reena Is it a good idea intellectually to share publicly online all the details of my romantic thoughts?  If my romance is complete, why does it need an audience? Isn't the height of romantic love about thoughts of everyone else fading away and it being as if you're the only people on the planet? Isn't that what we really want from falling in love?! To fully not care what people think? 

 

Draw me like one of your French girls Jack.

 

If it's for an audience, is it even real? Cause apparently Leonardo DiCaprio still be kicking. 

[Reena]

Just now, Mandy said:

@Reena Is it a good idea intellectually to share publicly online all the details of my romantic thoughts?  If my romance is complete, why does it need an audience? Isn't the height of romantic love about thoughts of everyone else fading away and it being as if you're the only people on the planet? Isn't that what we really want from falling in love?! To fully not care what people think? 

 

Draw me like one of your French girls Jack.

 

If it's for an audience, is it even real? Cause apparently Leonardo DiCaprio still be kicking. 

Its simply not about what people think. It's about sharing. I consider sharing as a healthy social activity. People share their pictures all the time. Why should romance be any different from hiking in the mountains? 

[Reena]

2 minutes ago, Mandy said:

Isn't the height of romantic love

I think the height of romantic love should be decided by the people who are in romantic love and not by others who aren't a part of that equation. You're acting like sharing romance is a crime. 

 

[Mandy]

30 minutes ago, Reena said:

Its simply not about what people think. It's about sharing. I consider sharing as a healthy social activity. People share their pictures all the time. Why should romance be any different from hiking in the mountains? 

Sharing is "Here, have an apple, aren't they amazing?" "No? Ok, maybe next time." 

 

Seeking is "Look at all the apples I have! Wow this one is sooo juicy!" "You don't like my apples! How dare you judge me and what makes me happy!" 

 

You're right, you can't know which is which since as Bashar told us earlier, everything is channeled anyway. But you can know by how it feels when there are patterns of seeking in a behavior, and if the behavior isn't getting the results you REALLY want then it's worth looking into. 

 

Since romance is already shared in its definition, perhaps that's why actual romance it's rarely intimately shared with a third wheel or audience, unless that's your thing but that's not what this forum is for. I love me some Jack Dawson but Jack's potential to satisfy me is not what the actual husband in my actual beds potential is. Seems really simple and funny, yet somehow easy to get confused since they cut out all the scenes of Jack's immature fart jokes and nose picking. At what point does fantasy stop being inspiring or creative and start be avoiding what it is we really want? 

[Reena]

3 minutes ago, Mandy said:

Sharing is "Here, have an apple, aren't they amazing?" "No? Ok, maybe next time." 

 

Seeking is "Look at all the apples I have! Wow this one is sooo juicy!" "You don't like my apples! How dare you judge me and what makes me happy!" 

 

You're right, you can't know which is which since as Bashar told us earlier, everything is channeled anyway. But you can know by how it feels when there are patterns of seeking in a behavior, and if the behavior isn't getting the results you REALLY want then it's worth looking into. 

 

Since romance is already shared in its definition, perhaps that's why actual romance it's rarely intimately shared with a third wheel or audience, unless that's your thing but that's not what this forum is for. I love me some Jack Dawson but Jack's potential to satisfy me is not what the actual husband in my actual beds potential is. Seems really simple and funny, yet somehow easy to get confused since they cut out all the scenes of Jack's immature fart jokes and nose picking. At what point does fantasy stop being inspiring or creative and start be avoiding what it is we really want? 

This is all interpretation and nothing can be done about it. You can't tell what's best for someone or everyone. Leave it to them. This constant need to preach others what's good for them. I find it condescending. 

 

[Mandy]

@Reena Apple? 

[Reena]

@Mandy hiking? 

[Mandy]

@Reena YES please! 

[Marcel]

1 hour ago, Mandy said:

@Reena Is it a good idea intellectually to share publicly online all the details of my romantic thoughts?  If my romance is complete, why does it need an audience? Isn't the height of romantic love about thoughts of everyone else fading away and it being as if you're the only people on the planet? Isn't that what we really want from falling in love?! To fully not care what other people think?

Why wouldn’t it be intellectually sound to share details of romantic thoughts? It’s not like we share literally everything. More then most, I guess. But there is still a ton that’s completely private and only between me and Reena.

 

It doesn’t need an audience at all, it’s just sharing. Interpret that how you will, as Reena already explained what she means by that.

 

As far as I’m concerned it feels like me and her are the only people on the planet. Not only on the planet, in the entire universe 

 

What I want from falling in love is merging with the „other“ person. Being one. Spending 24/7/365 with each other. Eternal commitment.  Marriage and Family. Children. 
 

Reena can attest to, that I don’t mind at all, about what people think. I’m not concerned by any of it in the slightest. It’s all just a case study to me. I’m grateful for anything I hear about myself, whether positive or negative. It gives me valuable insights either way.

 

 I am completely unbothered by just about everything. It’s me and Reena forever. That’s all I care about. About her well being and safety physical and emotional / spiritual.
 

 

[Mandy]

7 hours ago, Marcel said:

Why wouldn’t it be intellectually sound to share details of romantic thoughts? 

It depends on the context and the motivation behind it. Somewhere around 2 or 3 weeks ago Reena was sharing intimate details about another man in another online relationship. How did that turn out @Reena, you got me all invested now? So as happy as we are to have you here @Marcel marriage seems a little startling and sudden over here. And perhaps not aligned with wellbeing for both of you. 

 

This forum is about self realization. Facebook and Instagram and many other platforms are for sharing and showing off all kinds of things. So while we do discuss all subjects here, red flags are not going to be ignored.

 

Do you see the other threads, the kind of things being shared and questions being asked here? Does this sharing with no receptivity or asking of feedback or clarification not seem entirely out of place? As explained above, this does not seem like an example of putting wellbeing first. When red flags are pointed out, the reaction is as if this IS Facebook or Instagram and that they shouldn't be, and that the forum is wrong or the people here are wrong somehow for doing so. This is simply not true. It's complete avoidance as to what this forum is really about. It's even more out of place than going on a rock collecting forum and prolifically, visibly sharing your love of unicycling. 

 

I wish for long lasting committed, satisfying, transformational relationships for both of you. I don't want to see the forum and our perceived attention used for fantasy, aversion and attention seeking. I want to see it used as intended for inspecting beliefs and perceived limitations that lead to an actual in person relationship or what it is that you truly want. 

[Reena]

@Mandy if you don't appreciate my presence on the forum I'll leave the forum. 

Edited August 3 by Reena

[Mandy]

@Reena Why would what I think or appreciate be the cause for you to make a decision like that? Isn't this thread about examining whether our actions are based on what we assume other people think rather than what we truly want and are aligned with? Appreciation is for what is, it's not a tactic. 

[Reena]

@Mandy I'm already doing what I truly want. I seriously don't want any preaching. And when i need some feedback or advice I'll definitely ask for it. But giving advice or suggestion when not asked for feels like unnecessary intrusion. 

[Someone here]

11 hours ago, Mandy said:

@Someone here You have mentioned before that I write well, and also said that the reason you don't journal is because you don't write well. Is that all correct, is that what you believe? 

Yes !

[Mandy]

40 minutes ago, Reena said:

@Mandy I'm already doing what I truly want. I seriously don't want any preaching. And when i need some feedback or advice I'll definitely ask for it. But giving advice or suggestion when not asked for feels like unnecessary intrusion. 

This forum is for self realization and expression, not aversion. Naturally as something that inhibits true expression, aversion will be questioned and pointed out. To try to stop people from doing this would be like trying to stop someone on a rock collecting forum from talking about rocks. YOU are very much loved and appreciated, but in that love and appreciation repeated aversion will not allowed or encouraged. There are many much more popular platforms online that will have no say in that. Please don't expect this forum to be one of those. I think that in your insistence on this being your place to be, that you do very much wish to use this forum as intended. 

[Mandy]

8 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Yes !

What if I said that the reason you perceive that I write well is simply because I have written since I was a kid without care of what people think about my writing?  Would you expect to play the piano if you never practiced, no matter what the reason? 

[Marcel]

@Mandy

 

Sure. Love isn’t part of self actualisation of course lmao 

[Someone here]

11 minutes ago, Mandy said:

What if I said that the reason you perceive that I write well is simply because I have written since I was a kid without care of what people think about my writing? 

 Great .then you got that going .this boosts my point actually. 

Bare in mind I'm not a native English speaker. But im trying to learn more vocabulary every day. At least I know two languages. You only know one 😁

13 minutes ago, Mandy said:

Would you expect to play the piano if you never practiced, no matter what the reason? 

Obviously not .

I do start journals randomly .If I feel like writing I write .

But honestly these days I'm attracted to silence . Words don't do it for me anymore .all talk is silly . It's all human bullshit . It feels amazing just to sit in solitude and shut the fuck up .

[Mandy]

6 minutes ago, Marcel said:

@Mandy

 

Sure. Love isn’t part of self actualisation of course lmao 

This forum isn't about self actualization, it's about self realization.