Orb Posted June 30 Share Posted June 30 I just wanted to share where im at in life since it's been a while since Ive made more personal posts on this forum. For a couple of months I was In a relationship with a girl who was lovely and strong and beautiful, but deep down something didnt click fundamentally between us and a couple days ago I made the final decision to cut off from her. I actually went back and forth between "I wanna stay here and work on our relationship" and "this isn't clicking and we should go our separate ways and find people more suited for us". I definitely felt bad for the confusion stirred up in her and finally put my foot down and made my decision. I saw the damage done by being dishonest with myself and therefore being dishonest with her. I saw how much unnecessary emotional toil this caused yet at the same time how it will lead to a more aligned/awesome relationship in the future. After one of our last phone calls I was crying intensely and just saying Thank you out loud over and over again. I received some advice from Phil and Mandy which was also helpful. I experienced heartbreak for about 2 days, I just was at the mercy of it and felt it deeply all the way, until it vanished and now I dont experience any heartbreak at all, in fact, I feel inspired and excited and like my conscious creating is unhindered by an inauthentic relationship! I see how everything is working out more and more, im in a job where im making more money than I imagined I could, dots are connecting business-wise as well. Even along this rollercoaster of emotion and learning, the spheres have only continued to clarify, as more bubbles pop, the non dual keeps on being uncovered more and more. A couple weeks ago, I felt into sensation as I always do now, and then the spheres fully revealed themselves. Ever since then experience can best be summed up as the most impersonal and personal appearance. Its also become clear that I could never feel Love because Love is what is feeling "me". Simultaneously experiencing being the center of all creation, of being the Big Deal, yet at the same time this centralized concentrated sense of consciousness/lens isn't actually in the center of anything, nor does it have any significance at all and is no different from any other sensation fundamentally. It's the perfect appearance. The world is Om, just a sea of vibration, aka nothing at all. Feeling shows me more and more that there's truly no self whatsoever. Even the "The Self" as is commonly shared here on the forum and in Advaita Vedanta is a complete mystery unto itself and isn't actually an identity nor is it an "It". Things are going pretty well and the solution to all challenges in life is always the same: Meditation. This brings great comfort 🙂 Quote Mention "Mediocrity is gone. Mind is clear of limitation. I seek no state of enlightenment. Neither do I remain where no enlightenment exists. Since I linger in neither condition, eyes cannot see me. If hundreds of birds strew my path with flowers, such praise would be meaningless." - A Comment on the 8th Ox Herding Picture Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted June 30 Share Posted June 30 🤗 Quote Mention Youtube Channel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted July 1 Share Posted July 1 @Orb Beautiful! The hole is the whole. 🙂 Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reena Posted July 1 Share Posted July 1 At least you were honest. Quote Mention So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted July 3 Author Share Posted July 3 On 6/30/2024 at 12:01 PM, Mandy said: 🤗 ☺️ On 6/30/2024 at 9:22 PM, Phil said: @Orb Beautiful! The hole is the whole. 🙂 Yes! On 6/30/2024 at 9:47 PM, Reena said: At least you were honest. 100 percent! Quote Mention "Mediocrity is gone. Mind is clear of limitation. I seek no state of enlightenment. Neither do I remain where no enlightenment exists. Since I linger in neither condition, eyes cannot see me. If hundreds of birds strew my path with flowers, such praise would be meaningless." - A Comment on the 8th Ox Herding Picture Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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