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Inspecting the duality of Love vs Hate

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So I was seeing the profile of this girl that I was talking recently to do some financial domination .


This girl is not the classic tall impotent dominatrix with leather all over her, etc... Is a normal girl which you could see on the street anyday.


So anyways I told her by this month im really broke so it would have to be for the next month.


I was today seeing her twitter profile and I was reading all of those messages of he hates us losers and we only deserve to be drained of our money. etc.


I entered his profile instagram profile and I saw some pictures with her boyfriend. What surprised me it was totally a normal dude, like not the classical gym bro alpha guy. Normal dude.


And that´s when it hit me. 


Why the fuck I have to be hated / beaten by her like im shit , while he deserves the Love from her??


Like literally, I don´t see the difference between me and him. He is just like me. Yet she hates me and to him he respects him/loves him. Why?


Now... I know what you guys are going to say. "Is all in your head. She doesn´t even know you".

Yes, sure. But I mean... I truly feel that belief inside my body, the belief of being the bad one, like is mine. Is a sticky icky identity. It's ahhhh I can not let it fully go. Can I let it go?



Because im really sad. Is so unfair to have this belief within oneself.


I suspect is a sort of karmic memory imprint inside consciousness. Because no therapy or even psychedelics have really helped. It always is there.


So it makes me conclude that is always there because is the memory of the identity. The memory 'block' from which Consciousness was able to create this body and mind.


Consciousness need memory to create stuff. If not is just formless emptiness. So to create my imaginary character it had to use the karmic memory of family members.  


Now... I hope there is a possibility...a freedom beyond all memory can open up. 


What a fun time im having in this illusion, lmao. What a masterpiece. 

Edited by ConsciousDreamer666
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18 hours ago, Phil said:


How do you do that?

"I" do not do it. Infinite Reality does it. "I" do not exist. 


But yes, this thing about sexual entanglement is not cool. I know im getting 'dirty' so to speak when I engage in this crap. I just have to stop getting in the mud.


Is kinda of dumb really. Like I get in the mud and then I complain that I get my clothes dirty...

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No but that’s pretty funny! 😅


For that which is creating everything / all things there isn’t everything or things. That infinite reality does would be anthropomorphic. 


For that which is creating ‘everything’ (for which there isn’t everything / anything / things) there is no duality of love and hate, there is being, love and therein emotion. Maybe most relevant, it is not possible for that which is creating ‘everything’ to hate, or be hated. The discord of a belief like that could be half a cycle to (oddly) ‘feeling better’ by having the belief confirmed. It’s tricky because the thought “I’m hated” feels off because it isn’t true, but could seem to feel off because it’s true. Also it probably seems like that’s what she thinks / how she feels, because that’s what you’re paying her for. 

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On 5/17/2024 at 10:56 PM, Phil said:


The discord of a belief like that could be half a cycle to (oddly) ‘feeling better’ by having the belief confirmed.

I see, like feeling one is right in his belief would somewhat make him feel better. 


Maybe the thought "I'm hated" was created a sort of defensive mechanism or whatever, and when the mind tries to confirm that belief, it is a sort of 'cuccon' protection for the mind, and that´s why there is this inertia-magnetic force to belief that thought. Like in a way the mind created that with certain purpose, (although it was dysfunctional of course)



It’s tricky because the thought “I’m hated” feels off because it isn’t true, but could seem to feel off because it’s true. 

Yes, that´s tricky. Is like a magnetic force that pulls me in Lol. 

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