Impatience ruining days lately

[Nadosa]

I recently get this pressure of wasting my 20s, that I should actually change everything that I do. I'm experiencing doubt considering my job, I feel dull and emotionally exhausted. Working 10-12 hours a day just isn't what feels right. I wake up in a rush, pressuring myself "I have to go to the gym, but no I have to do this first, ah no I need this". 3 years ago I talked to @Phil on actualized.org about becoming a medical doc and still I am here prefering creating music and working a 9 to 5 over studying, not really evolving, and ruminating about what COULD feel better. Music actually feels best. But as far as now, I believe I am just not gifted with the fortune of becoming a musician. 

 

I've changed to another employee, working in a Psychiatric Hospital facing more challenges than ever considering emotional balance. 

I am away from home more than 10 hours a day, having way less sparetime than before which results in more frustration, disencouragement, overwhelment and pessimism.

 

I dont even know if I should just switch to another career. I already feel burnout as a nurse. 

 

Then I am experiencing worry considering financial stability. I have saved up money but dont know what to do with it. I havent learned to take risks - investing in a property? I dont know. I dont have knowledge at all. Sometimes I feel like I am just a dumb kid. My only skill is helping people, being there, and leading them back to life. 

 

Maybe it is time to get back to the dreamboard.

 

But even that I feel soo pessimistic about. One could say I am depressed. 

 

I am afraid wasting my life literally. 

 

 

[Bob Seeker]

Do you use the emotional scale? This is what it is for. And it actually works in my experience, if you will let yourself move up the scale and leave behind the way you are feeling(because of your thoughts) for a better way of feeling (because of better feeling thoughts you are now choosing).

 

If you need help using the scale, let us know.

 

16 hours ago, Nadosa said:

 

I am afraid wasting my life literally

Many of us have been there. It is, though, literally possible to be without this thought, even before your circumstances change. What is also cool is that the more you can come to a place of living without such thoughts, the more you will find your circumstances changing.

 

We here are not concerned what you end up doing, whether it is music or medicine or nursing, or some other thing. We want you to feel good and we know that the better you feel, the more you will be moving toward whatever you prefer.