Serenity Posted May 31 Author Share Posted May 31 My responsibility and all I can do about the past is to feel all I have ever repressed and to forgive so I can be freed. And who is there to forgive anyway? Quote Mention “Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted May 31 Author Share Posted May 31 I have been microdosing LSD most of the days of this week. Not only am I aware and at distance of most of the thoughts experienced, I am also able to feel in the 'body' the whole lot of repression as well as notice and increase the dissolution of most of the (past-generated) emotional activity taking place. It is just now a question of 'time'. Experience squeeze out faster and faster the 'emotional pus' and I am getting better at it by the day. I don't think I have been that close to 'true nature baseline'. The body keeps on twitching. Crying. Yawning. Everything is an epiphenomenon in myself. I am the one substance. The one being. Shapeshifting. Realizing itself. Emotionally still not in unity and harmony, but the hardest has been done. 🤍 Quote Mention “Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted May 31 Author Share Posted May 31 (edited) Trusting the unfolding. Edited May 31 by Serenity Quote Mention “Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted May 31 Author Share Posted May 31 Emotions are like dense energy clouds in Experience, with each its own 'resolution' key. Surrendering to each vibrations, knowing none of these vibrations are you but just something passing that can't destroy what you are is something that I have been realizing directly lately. Also, I am spotting better core wounds and getting closer to dissolving some rather unfortunate unworthiness-complex patterns that I have and cause a lot of suffering in my life. 😀 This will lead to great things, I am certain. Quote Mention “Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted May 31 Author Share Posted May 31 The level of emotional projection we all do on a basis is astounding. I can see the difference from last year to today and see how some pretty nasty stuff has been let go off for good. Quote Mention “Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted May 31 Author Share Posted May 31 I am lucky to be such an easy cryer. Crying is an excretion mean for emotions. 😅 🙂 Quote Mention “Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted June 4 Author Share Posted June 4 It seems that becoming aware of the body as awareness itself, and slowly moving towards emotional non-duality, is causing low vibratory energy to dissolve within the body. But feeling that stuff is so seemingly uncomfortable. It is not far off from regular physical pain which I am under the impression to feel when it comes to sensing the frozen emotions stored inside my back cells. Quote Mention “Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted June 9 Author Share Posted June 9 There is less and less of 'me'. Lots of velcro emotions and trigger points, but the sense of self is shrinking in time of peace. Quote Mention “Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted June 12 Author Share Posted June 12 There are two elements to get about repression and how it works. As Gabor Mate says it: repression comes from not feeling like we can be safe and authentic when it comes survival. So how do you stop feeling unsafe ? I am afraid of how the world is in perpetual flux and how I (little self) could be obliterated to death or mistreated. Can something radically different be experienced ? I feel unsafe to the point that it is making me sick. I think there is obviously a projection of past emotions going there and it is pretty intense. During my first Ayahuasca ceremony she showed me how under all the ego layers, at the very bottom there was a terrified, shaking, excruciating in pain part of me at the bottom. Perhaps it is time that it is more discussed about. Or just felt. Quote Mention “Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted June 12 Author Share Posted June 12 I am tired to keep dealing with repressed low bottom of the scale emotions. That feeling I have mentioned is named unsafety. It's super low-tier. What the hell did I do in a previous lifetime to get that amount of crap 😳? Quote Mention “Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted June 12 Author Share Posted June 12 Nothing other than I. What is it to fear? Quote Mention “Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted June 19 Author Share Posted June 19 No one. Quote Mention “Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted June 19 Author Share Posted June 19 Quote Mention “Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted July 28 Author Share Posted July 28 I envy those that received/experienced more love than I do/did. It makes me angry that I had to suffer so much. I hate those that get seemingly everything offered/gifted on a silver platter. I blame myself for failing to be externally lovable enough. If I fail at it, I am disappointed at myself. I envy those that are more innerly beautiful, more self-loving, more able to create than I do. And that makes me feel even uglier. Like some sort of an evil queen in a fairy tale. I hate these type of loops. And I think what mostly get me angry about this all is that I don't like the experience of low bottom scale emotions and I want to experience and focus on the good stuff. I blame myself for identifying with a a self. For writing this post mostly from the perspective of a self. Quote Mention “Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted July 28 Share Posted July 28 Try as you might to convince us of your unworthiness, we love you anyway. Quote Mention Youtube Channel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted July 31 Author Share Posted July 31 On 7/28/2024 at 7:02 PM, Mandy said: Try as you might to convince us of your unworthiness, we love you anyway. ❤️🩹❤️ ❤️🔥!!! Means a lot to me, Mandy 🥰. I am managing to slowly recognize these feelings as an illusion better and better. Nothing to do with who I am - who we are-, thankfully. Quote Mention “Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted August 4 Author Share Posted August 4 Quote Mention “Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted August 4 Author Share Posted August 4 I am concerned about 'yoyoing' between the two. Also there is the impression of fighting against a ghost. The ego feels energy sucking, parasitic and like utter madness. Quote Mention “Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted August 4 Author Share Posted August 4 Let it gooo, let it goooooooo Quote Mention “Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenity Posted August 4 Author Share Posted August 4 Only one thing matters. Here... ... or there. Quote Mention “Know yourself as nothing; feel yourself as everything.” - Rupert Spira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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