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No strong desire for anything

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Last couple of month i've been going through huge emotional releases. I feel better than ever, and situations with others which usually caused a lot of emotional turmoil are not anymore. I generally feel capable for most situations which is incredibly amazing. 


With this better feeling and maybe also some beliefs having left about needing to do a lot of things, i find myself in a situation without any real desire.


At home i feel quite fine and content most of the time, but without any real desire to push forward with my music or anything else. I do it slowly sometimes but doesn't spark that much joy. I mostly just eat, go for many walks, exercise etc, but have no real desire to read, watch a movie etc. I end up just jumping around on my computer, half heartedly contemplating some things maybe. 


Only thing i really want is a girlfriend to share some time with. I feel very attracted to someone right now, so trying to make that happen. I would just like something to feel really passionate about next to it as it feels a bit obsessive and needy to just want a girlfriend. 

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It might be the more subtle discord of (self ref) thoughts of need and doing are felt. 

Desire is a conceptualization of self as well. Love appearing as preferences might be a less (albeit subtly) discordant interpretation, if it’s truly an interpretation at all. So not having desire might be ‘held’ as discordant, when in fact it’s alignment. 

Mindfulness begets (the emotion) passion and inspiration as well. Music which is my music and or there being some thing to be passionate about might entertain a sep self, sort of pulling the passion and inspiration which is yourself out from under yourself.  

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