Ceejay Posted February 26 Share Posted February 26 (edited) I think I have shadow issues regarding my father. He is so restrictive and has numerous psychological issues and is on medication. I suspect that I have aversion towards him. Since, both him and me, are "strange folk with strange intuitive abilities"... sometimes when serendipitous or synchronous moments occur... I over-think/over-read that experience to the point of suspecting that my father (and sometimes other people I think as very perceptive) would be reading my vibration... and this includes the secret thoughts that I harbour... or that are being harboured in the subconscious without getting a release yet... It's like I feel that I cannot keep any secret.. or secrets cannot be kept... and if someone is highly developed intuition-wise, they can read others' intentions/secrets, albeit they wisely choose not to tell the party concerned.. This is not a problem, if I realize that my father is not judging me.. but he is a judgmental type, and that is what creates the tension... I know I need to release aversion to my father.. My father's toe nails have some sort of infection.. and it is in a weird shape.. I have aversion to this... you know, this feeling of aversion is palpable... and it increases when I try to release my gripe with him... Of course, everything that I said above are thoughts.. which presume a subject-object duality... I know that, and when I am in a meditative mood, such thoughts won't occur... But I said what I said, in this thread, so as to get some insights from others regarding some of this, and approaches to work with this.. or question such thoughts... Edited February 26 by Ceejay Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceejay Posted February 26 Author Share Posted February 26 Just now, Ceejay said: My father's toe nails have some sort of infection.. and it is in a weird shape.. I have aversion to this... you know, this feeling of aversion is palpable... and it increases when I try to release my gripe with him... Plus, whenever I release my pressure valves.. and beliefs... and become softened with him... he too becomes softened with me (he is a soft guy who loves me) recognizing my state... and this creates resistance in me.. as I naturally act more lovingly towards him... which wasn't typical until this point... (i used to create much ruckus and arguments and I think I am attached to that image or who I was)... Reluctance to let go detected. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted February 26 Share Posted February 26 Could another secretly read my thoughts? Another is a thought. The experience pointed to is possible, yes, but the another and secretly aspects are not. It’s like with walkie talkies. If the button isn’t pushed at ‘the other end’, no sound will come through. Truly - there is no assertion. Where do you have thoughts, shadow issues… where does he have numerous psychological issues? Likewise where is a / the subconscious that seems to be concerning? 46 minutes ago, Ceejay said: It's like I feel that I cannot keep any secret.. or secrets cannot be kept... and if someone is highly developed intuition-wise, they can read others' intentions/secrets, albeit they wisely choose not to tell the party concerned.. Is the experience of what’s referred to, or of the thoughts about? 46 minutes ago, Ceejay said: This is not a problem, if I realize that my father is not judging me.. but he is a judgmental type, and that is what creates the tension... I know I need to release aversion to my father.. Same for ‘he is the judgmental type’. In what way is that not the direct experience of judgment? How do you know the aversion is to your father? 47 minutes ago, Ceejay said: My father's toe nails have some sort of infection.. and it is in a weird shape.. I have aversion to this... you know, this feeling of aversion is palpable... and it increases when I try to release my gripe with him... Maybe the gripe is, yet isn’t with him? 48 minutes ago, Ceejay said: Of course, everything that I said above are thoughts.. which presume a subject-object duality... I know that, and when I am in a meditative mood, such thoughts won't occur... But I said what I said, in this thread, so as to get some insights from others regarding some of this, and approaches to work with this.. or question such thoughts... The ‘ego’ is very sneaky, in that it is the exception. The ego (subject) knows that (object). Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceejay Posted February 26 Author Share Posted February 26 1 hour ago, Phil said: The ‘ego’ is very sneaky, in that it is the exception How so? Exception to what? 1 hour ago, Phil said: Same for ‘he is the judgmental type’. In what way is that not the direct experience of judgment? Admitting this one. 1 hour ago, Phil said: Could another secretly read my thoughts? Another is a thought. Yes. 1 hour ago, Phil said: The experience pointed to is possible, yes, but the another and secretly aspects are not. Because it is nondual. 1 hour ago, Phil said: It’s like with walkie talkies. If the button isn’t pushed at ‘the other end’, no sound will come through. Truly - there is no assertion. Didn't get what is meant here. What is an assertion? 1 hour ago, Phil said: Where do you have thoughts, shadow issues… where does he have numerous psychological issues? Likewise where is a / the subconscious that seems to be concerning? "Where" as in, can it be pinpointed like something objective? The location of it? 1 hour ago, Phil said: Is the experience of what’s referred to, or of the thoughts about? Are you being grammatically correct, or did you miss any word in between, because I don't seem to get what you meant here. 1 hour ago, Phil said: How do you know the aversion is to your father? How do I? 1 hour ago, Phil said: Maybe the gripe is, yet isn’t with him? Then? Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robed Mystic Posted February 26 Share Posted February 26 (edited) 3 hours ago, Ceejay said: I think I have shadow issues regarding my father. He is so restrictive and has numerous psychological issues and is on medication. I suspect that I have aversion towards him. Since, both him and me, are "strange folk with strange intuitive abilities"... sometimes when serendipitous or synchronous moments occur... I over-think/over-read that experience to the point of suspecting that my father (and sometimes other people I think as very perceptive) would be reading my vibration... and this includes the secret thoughts that I harbour... or that are being harboured in the subconscious without getting a release yet... It's like I feel that I cannot keep any secret.. or secrets cannot be kept... and if someone is highly developed intuition-wise, they can read others' intentions/secrets, albeit they wisely choose not to tell the party concerned.. This is not a problem, if I realize that my father is not judging me.. but he is a judgmental type, and that is what creates the tension... I know I need to release aversion to my father.. My father's toe nails have some sort of infection.. and it is in a weird shape.. I have aversion to this... you know, this feeling of aversion is palpable... and it increases when I try to release my gripe with him... Of course, everything that I said above are thoughts.. which presume a subject-object duality... I know that, and when I am in a meditative mood, such thoughts won't occur... But I said what I said, in this thread, so as to get some insights from others regarding some of this, and approaches to work with this.. or question such thoughts... Father son relationships are sometimes like this. I'm a father and sometimes I am quick to be judgemental. It's because i want the best for him, but sometimes i have to realize that maybe I'm actually more worried about what is best for me and not best for him. But it's a balancing act. We have to parent but also allow you guys to be yourselves. I would say talk to him...communication is the way to a healthy relationship. He may want to communicate but doesn't know how to begin. Try that. If it doesn't work at least you can say you tried. More on the intuition stuff later. Edited February 26 by Robed Mystic Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceejay Posted February 26 Author Share Posted February 26 7 minutes ago, Robed Mystic said: Father son relationships are sometimes like this. I'm a father and sometimes I am quick to be judgemental. It's because we want the best for him, but sometimes i have to realize that maybe I'm actually more worried about what is best for me and not best for him. But it's a balancing act. We have to parent but also allow you guys to be yourselves. Yes, agreed. 8 minutes ago, Robed Mystic said: I would say talk to him...communication is the way to a healthy relationship. He may want to communicate but doesn't know how to begin. Try that. If it doesn't work at least you can say you tried. Already tried that. It only creates more discord, and things tend to quickly escalate, with doors being closed and more cut off from each other than before. When we communicate minimally/only-functionally, there seems to be greater mutual alignment. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted February 26 Share Posted February 26 2 hours ago, Ceejay said: How so? Exception to what? Literally anything and everything. It sounds like for me, to me, when I, if I, etc. 2 hours ago, Ceejay said: Because it is nondual. … to me. As in for the me, there is an it, which is nondual, because I am not it. 2 hours ago, Ceejay said: What is an assertion? There is no assertion of any kind whatsoever. There is no force which acts upon you. There are no teachers or authorities. There is nothing in your way in anyway whatsoever. There is nothing working against you as it relates to what you want to create an experience. This doesn’t mean there aren’t directly experienced interpretations to the contrary. It just means those are beliefs. 3 hours ago, Ceejay said: Where" as in, can it be pinpointed like something objective? The location of it? Yes, exactly. The claims are actually beliefs. Conceptualizations. Questioning where what’s claimed actually is helps with noticing a concept is a concept. Like unicorn. 3 hours ago, Ceejay said: Are you being grammatically correct, or did you miss any word in between, because I don't seem to get what you meant here It’s meant very literally. There is an experience of the thought unicorn, there’s no actual experience of a unicorn. Every single thought, without exception, is exactly the same. Bring thought to rest, and all will be revealed to you effortlessly. 3 hours ago, Ceejay said: How do I? An emotion is felt, but a thought is believed, and so it seems like aversion is other than from feeling emotions. That is not a small aspect. When this is ‘seen’ in direct experience, it is simultaneously seen why everyone does everything they do and does not do everything they do not do. Matrix is made of aversion. Liberation is non-aversion. Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceejay Posted February 27 Author Share Posted February 27 11 hours ago, Phil said: This doesn’t mean there aren’t directly experienced interpretations to the contrary. It just means those are beliefs. Okay. 11 hours ago, Phil said: Bring thought to rest, and all will be revealed to you effortlessly. "And then what?", or "what next?" -- are also thoughts with an assumed subject. 11 hours ago, Phil said: An emotion is felt, but a thought is believed, and so it seems like aversion is other than from feeling emotions. So there is no aversion other than an assertion (thought). The labelling of the feeling (using emotional scale) is a thought, isn't it? But if it is used without it getting in the way, it doesn't get in the way, and represents an aligned thought. 11 hours ago, Phil said: When this is ‘seen’ in direct experience, it is simultaneously seen why everyone does everything they do and does not do everything they do not do. Matrix is made of aversion. Liberation is non-aversion. Okay. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted February 28 Share Posted February 28 16 hours ago, Ceejay said: "And then what?", or "what next?" -- are also thoughts with an assumed subject. Exactly, nice. it’s really and then… what’s already the case. The actually, without the overcast of interpretation(s). Peace, happiness, Goodness, Clarity. Being. 🥰 16 hours ago, Ceejay said: So there is no aversion other than an assertion (thought). Yep, pretty much. Aversion, at least as I use the term, is aversion from feeling, essentially by believing thought(s). One indivisible experiential ‘movement’, pointed at two ways. Like “I’m scare of” or “I’m afraid of” vs feeling the emotion fear. Or “I’m not good enough” vs acknowledging the emotion insecurity. 16 hours ago, Ceejay said: The labelling of the feeling (using emotional scale) is a thought, isn't it? It’s like this, in order of appearance, from the bottom upward to the top: Thought(s). Emotion. Feeling. So there isn’t ’labeling of the feeling’, nor feelings, nor my feelings, their feelings, etc. Feeling, again at least as I’m using the term, is the ineffable infinite ‘raw clay’ appearing as thoughts. As Feeling is appearing as thoughts, there is how thoughts, which feeling is appearing as, feel to feeling… emotions. Yes indeed “everything is just thoughts” really. But there are thoughts like unicorn, my feelings, becoming, self-improvement, etc, which are only conceptual and don’t even point to any actuality even if experiential / apparent. 16 hours ago, Ceejay said: But if it is used without it getting in the way, it doesn't get in the way, and represents an aligned thought. Nicely said. 👊🏼 Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceejay Posted February 28 Author Share Posted February 28 @Phil Thanks. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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