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𝘌𝘹𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘭𝘺 strange state of mind at night...


Indisguise
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It happens only very, very rarely. It used to happen more often when I was a kid, probably like every month or so, maybe a bit less.

 

It happened to me 2 nights ago, and it hasn't happened in... years, I guess? At least I can't remember, because I ususally don't remember when it happens, just like we don't remember most of our dreams. 

 

It's basically impossible to describe in words, that's how strange it is. But I'll give it a shot - and who knows, maybe there's someone here who also experienced something like this? Although I kinda doubt it tbh.

 

As the title states, it happens at night, only. It's like a dream, but it doesn't contain anything from this world. It's mostly a feeling, like a felt understanding of the situation.

 

Imagine a marble, just an ordinarly glass marble that a kid would use to play with. And we're going to play a game. 

 

 I'm going to hide this marble somewhere on this planet. Literally, just anywhere.

I could burry it 50 ft under ground somewhere on a remote island in the Southern Pacific ocean, I could drop it into the sewer somewhere in your neighbouring street, I could hide it in a crumbled piece of paper and put it in the paper trash bin of some office building in Northern Mumbai, I could burry it under 4 inches of gravel somewhere on the Northern side of mountain Chiumo in the Himalaya, I could hide it anywhere. The possibilities woud be virtually infinite. 

 

And you have to find this marble.

 

Now imagine what it would feel like to live forever. Because now, you can play this game with me. You have all the time in the world to find this marble, and one day, you'll find it. 

 

What would it feel like to roam and scan the entire planet and absolutely every possible place where I could hide the marble?

 Now compress this journey of finding the marble into 5 minutes of time. What it would that feel like?

 

 

Or imagine this: I give you a book that is 100.000 pages thick. Now I give you a copy of this book, except: somehwere in this copy, there is a comma missing. 

Find the missing comma. 

Imagine what it feels like to filter through 100.000 pages of text within 2 minutes, and finding that one missing comma. 

 

Imagine dropping a pebble on the ground. Technically speaking, the earths gravity pulled the pebble, and so it dropped. 

But also; the pebble pulled the earth towards itself, because the pebble has a certain mass too.

So Imagine you could drop the earth on the pebble. 

What would that feel like? 

 

There is this feeling of an almost infinite immensity. It's absolutey mind-blowing, literally, I've tried to give you these analogies to describe the overwhelmment of this feeling. 

It isn't exactly painful, but just unbearably immense. Ad for some reason, at the same time, extremely light (like dropping a pebble on the ground). 

There aren't any visuals accompanying this, no sounds either. Just this feeling. And I have no idea what to make of it, but each time it happens, it just feels absolutely unreal, like reality just got destroyed by this. I don't know how to describe it, it's just too damn weird...

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1 hour ago, Indisguise said:

It happens only very, very rarely. It used to happen more often when I was a kid, probably like every month or so, maybe a bit less.

 

It happened to me 2 nights ago, and it hasn't happened in... years, I guess? At least I can't remember, because I ususally don't remember when it happens, just like we don't remember most of our dreams. 

 

It's basically impossible to describe in words, that's how strange it is. But I'll give it a shot - and who knows, maybe there's someone here who also experienced something like this? Although I kinda doubt it tbh.

 

As the title states, it happens at night, only. It's like a dream, but it doesn't contain anything from this world. It's mostly a feeling, like a felt understanding of the situation.

 

Imagine a marble, just an ordinarly glass marble that a kid would use to play with. And we're going to play a game. 

 

 I'm going to hide this marble somewhere on this planet. Literally, just anywhere.

I could burry it 50 ft under ground somewhere on a remote island in the Southern Pacific ocean, I could drop it into the sewer somewhere in your neighbouring street, I could hide it in a crumbled piece of paper and put it in the paper trash bin of some office building in Northern Mumbai, I could burry it under 4 inches of gravel somewhere on the Northern side of mountain Chiumo in the Himalaya, I could hide it anywhere. The possibilities woud be virtually infinite. 

 

And you have to find this marble.

 

Now imagine what it would feel like to live forever. Because now, you can play this game with me. You have all the time in the world to find this marble, and one day, you'll find it. 

 

What would it feel like to roam and scan the entire planet and absolutely every possible place where I could hide the marble?

 Now compress this journey of finding the marble into 5 minutes of time. What it would that feel like?

 

 

Or imagine this: I give you a book that is 100.000 pages thick. Now I give you a copy of this book, except: somehwere in this copy, there is a comma missing. 

Find the missing comma. 

Imagine what it feels like to filter through 100.000 pages of text within 2 minutes, and finding that one missing comma. 

 

Imagine dropping a pebble on the ground. Technically speaking, the earths gravity pulled the pebble, and so it dropped. 

But also; the pebble pulled the earth towards itself, because the pebble has a certain mass too.

So Imagine you could drop the earth on the pebble. 

What would that feel like? 

 

There is this feeling of an almost infinite immensity. It's absolutey mind-blowing, literally, I've tried to give you these analogies to describe the overwhelmment of this feeling. 

It isn't exactly painful, but just unbearably immense. Ad for some reason, at the same time, extremely light (like dropping a pebble on the ground). 

There aren't any visuals accompanying this, no sounds either. Just this feeling. And I have no idea what to make of it, but each time it happens, it just feels absolutely unreal, like reality just got destroyed by this. I don't know how to describe it, it's just too damn weird...

This is super weird because as a kid I used to get this recurring nightmare that sounds very close to what your experiencing. It’s very hard for me to describe as well because when I would wake up from it I couldn’t remember it well and words failed me. Basically it just felt like the proportions of everything were way off in the dream which would be terrifying somehow. It would feel very overwhelming and scary. Reading through your post really reminded me of it.

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2 hours ago, Indisguise said:

And I have no idea what to make of it, but each time it happens, it just feels absolutely unreal, like reality just got destroyed by this. I don't know how to describe it, it's just too damn weird...

Sounds weird. It reminds me of some of the night terrors I used to have as a small child, where I would basically dream being in some innocuous place like our living room, but somehow everything would be upside down, and I would have this intense and raw feeling of things being very wrong, like a type of existential terror mixed with moral disgust. It would only last for a couple of seconds because of the intensity of the feeling.

Edited by Space4This
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Yes, it does feel "existentially wrong". Like reality is just somehow twisted, but in an absolutely undescribable way. It's kinda like a nightmare, but not in a scary way, just... unbearably bizarre. 

1 hour ago, Kevin said:

it just felt like the proportions of everything were way off in the dream which would be terrifying somehow. It would feel very overwhelming

 

Yes that's definitely a part of it..

It also kinda feels like I'm at the creation point of reality or something. Like "this is what reality is like before it has manifested itself yet". And if you tweak this infinitesimally small piece of hyperdimensional whatever, you will destroy or create planets the size of Jupiter. That's the feeling of immensity and twistedness. 

 

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1 hour ago, Phil said:

State of mind or feeling?

Or, neither. 

Hmmm... hard to tell. I guess the state of mind is the bizarre immensity I described, and it's followed by feelings of overwhelment and existential dread.

 

But ins some really strange way, the "state of mind" feels like it's the state of the body, but in the sense that the body is completely immersed in the bizarre immensity to the point where you can't tell the difference. 

 

I'm not nearly lucid enough in that state to make these distinctions, it's difficult to even remember these "dreams"...

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11 hours ago, Space4This said:

Sounds weird. It reminds me of some of the night terrors I used to have as a small child, where I would basically dream being in some innocuous place like our living room, but somehow everything would be upside down, and I would have this intense and raw feeling of things being very wrong, like a type of existential terror mixed with moral disgust. It would only last for a couple of seconds because of the intensity of the feeling.

What you wrote sounds very familiar. Like the content of my dreams was different but the emotions and feeling of it are spot on. 

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10 hours ago, Indisguise said:

 

Yes, it does feel "existentially wrong". Like reality is just somehow twisted, but in an absolutely undescribable way. It's kinda like a nightmare, but not in a scary way, just... unbearably bizarre. 

 

Yes that's definitely a part of it..

It also kinda feels like I'm at the creation point of reality or something. Like "this is what reality is like before it has manifested itself yet". And if you tweak this infinitesimally small piece of hyperdimensional whatever, you will destroy or create planets the size of Jupiter. That's the feeling of immensity and twistedness. 

 

Interesting. I wish I had some insight on what it’s all about. I haven’t had one of those dreams since I was a kid and usually I don’t think about them.

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@Indisguise

Apologies if I’m taking this in a different direction, but this is whatever comes to mind. Like you said, it’s truly incommunicable… but… it’s metafun. Or if not, it soon can / will be. 

 

It’s like being experienced, whereas it seemed more typical or ‘normal’ before to be experiencing. That Tyler Henry show comes to mind. Reiki classes, practices and ongoing ‘use’ of symbols seem to function like the way he scribbles. The means is ultimately insignificant though, it’s about what’s beyond the door & comes through the door as the door, and not about the keys. Not easy to describe and surely sounds crazy… but it’s reality, or perception, parting or opening in front of you like two curtains separating, and then there’s a visual-mental display of infinite mind, being and relaying an unlimited communication, without the duality of thought or mental cognition involved. Like if you ate something, thought doesn’t really play any role, because it’s just known that you ate it because you experienced eating it… but with this it’s like you already ate it and now it’s in your stomach, but you didn’t have the experience of eating it. Sort of like that but with mind. It’s just instantly ‘already there’, as if it always was. As if it was an experience you had in the past, except you actually didn’t. At least not conventionally. 

 

Another ‘pointing’, it’s like nothing coming into, or just being, everything, but instead of with a blank slate every morning, with specific intuited ‘stuff’ which are otherwise impossible to know. Stuff that would never have otherwise came to mind or been thought of. Unpacking dreams seems like a helpful practice as a prerequisite / opener. It’s seems very clearly post-paradoxes / all questions answered / questions don’t arises anymore… empty space, where now this arises / happens.  The ‘content’ so to speak is anything from past lives to precognition, and the theme is love-healing-relevance. There’s also a curiosity to it, which gets resolved. It’s not always complete. Like, sometimes the dots are filled in when I meet or talk with someone later in that day. Ah ha’s, like ‘oh! Now this makes perfect sense why I lived in Alaska!’.  That ‘Alaska’ could be anything. It’s not relevant to me but to someone else, but is ‘downloaded’ and then indistinguishable from ‘my’ memories / personality / life, etc.  This likely sounds more vague and more nuts the more I try to convey it, but, that’s what comes to mind. 

 

Practically speaking, ‘use’ wise, if the direction I’m speaking in here resonates at all with what you’re talking about (idk)… in the same way one can bring to mind the notion this indeed is a dream, and there’s a certain feeling & clearing away of fringe thoughts… bring to mind, I’m not experiencing, I’m being experienced, and just allow… not knowing at all, but being most interested & curious as to whatever’s going to happen next. Also might be helpful to contemplate reality appears consistent but is not, and is thought to have causation & mechanics, but is only surface appearance. 

 

While I’m at it 🙂 … 

This might be the most powerful (in this regard) and yet overlooked ‘tool’ on my site…

https://www.actualityofbeing.com/dream-journal

And likewise, the ‘inner Kriya’ of this…

https://www.actualityofbeing.com/the-loophole-shake

… like, the better health is great, it feels way better than fast food… but it’s about the willingness-alignment of well being, which of course is love, which of course, is you. The ‘theme’ or overarching connection of this ime is well being, selflessness-healing, and love. Not so much ‘cool experiences for me’, “God-Powers” lol, or getting the winning lotto numbers, etc. 

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I found another pretty damn accurate description of what it feels like.

 

Watch the video, it give you a nice impression of the absolutely infinite immensity of the universe - and then suddenly you snap back out of it and see your human role in it.  We're infinitely small, and at the same time infintely large.

 

It feels like becoming aware of this relationship, of this difference of property in size, in a physical, bodily way. It's so, so, so, so fucking vast, it's completely mind blowing.

 

It's like you just want to scream your lungs out because there's NO way of describing or conveying how big it is, but even screaming is totally and completely  futile and so all you can do is sit in absolute, all-engulfing, infinitely deep silence - that's what it feels like, I can describe it more accurately.  

 

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