Rape dreams(trigger warning)

[Mandy]

@Reena You're getting what you're asking for, you just aren't applying it to seemingly mundane interactions. “Everything in the world is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power.”- Oscar Wilde

 

It is pretty wild. 

[Phil]

4 hours ago, Reena said:

Powerlessness. 

First, does powerlessness & the thought ‘I will never find someone’ feel great, or not great?

Allow it to be this simple. Great, or not great.

[Reena]

4 minutes ago, Phil said:

First, does powerlessness & the thought ‘I will never find someone’ feel great, or not great?

Allow it to be this simple. Great, or not great.

No it doesn't feel great. It feels like helplessness and a state of victimhood 

Like a rite of passage that has been accepted. 

 

[Reena]

3 hours ago, Reena said:

Interpretation 19 - a secure attachment was never shown. 

The rape dreams are an indication that a secure attachment was never shown. 

 

Interpretation 20 - do you feel like you're dealing with criminals?

Yes.

 

[Reena]

Just now, Reena said:

Interpretation 20 - do you feel like you're dealing with criminals?

Yes.

 

Interpretation 21 - is your rape dream similar to comfort eating? Think about it. 

Comfort eating is a powerful way to cope with trouble. 

 

[Phil]

3 minutes ago, Reena said:

No it doesn't feel great. It feels like helplessness and a state of victimhood 

Like a rite of passage that has been accepted. 

 

Double negatives, over explaining, comparisons, conceptualizations like states, justifications and theories like acceptance are unnecessary. 

 

The thought ‘I will never find someone’ & the emotion powerlessness - does it feel great, or not great?

 

Allow it to be simply; great, or not great.

[Reena]

14 minutes ago, Phil said:

Double negatives, over explaining, comparisons, conceptualizations like states, justifications and theories like acceptance are unnecessary. 

 

The thought ‘I will never find someone’ & the emotion powerlessness - does it feel great, or not great?

 

Allow it to be simply; great, or not great.

I already said that it doesn't feel great. 

[Reena]

@Phil I appreciate you asking me questions but just trying to politely tell you that it's too much intrusion. 

It's like whatever my interpretation is, is being negated. 

Why not let me come to my own conclusion through my own interpretation ? 

Is my interpretation in any way threatening to you? 

I didn't ask you for help specifically. 

I feel like I'm constantly being denied of my own thought process. 

 

 

[Reena]

@Phil for the meanwhile I'll prefer to rely on my own interpretation 

[Phil]

20 minutes ago, Reena said:

@Phil I appreciate you asking me questions but just trying to politely tell you that it's too much intrusion. 

It's like whatever my interpretation is, is being negated. 

Why not let me come to my own conclusion through my own interpretation ? 

Is my interpretation in any way threatening to you? 

I didn't ask you for help specifically. 

I feel like I'm constantly being denied of my own thought process. 

 

I was just pointing out you’re feeling the thought, ‘I will never find someone’, and it doesn’t resonate, and therein is your guidance. 

It doesn’t have anything to do with anything else or anything anyone says about it. 

It’s just how that thought feels. It’s not good or bad, right or wrong, etc.

It’s just how the thought feels. 🙂

 

[Reena]

3 minutes ago, Phil said:

I was just pointing out you’re feeling the thought, ‘I will never find someone’, and it doesn’t resonate, and therein is your guidance. 

It doesn’t have anything to do with anything else or anything anyone says about it. 

It’s just how that thought feels. It’s not good or bad, right or wrong, etc.

It’s just how the thought feels. 🙂

 

Ok thanks but no more. 

[Phil]

1 minute ago, Reena said:

Ok thanks but no more. 

👍🏼 I misunderstood apparently. I thought you wanted to feel great, empowered, and attract someone. 

[Reena]

1 hour ago, Reena said:

Interpretation 21 - is your rape dream similar to comfort eating? Think about it. 

Comfort eating is a powerful way to cope with trouble. 

 

One of the biggest insights I'm getting is that SURVIVAL IS NOT LOVE. 

Reena understand this. 

 

[Reena]

1 hour ago, Reena said:

Interpretation 21 - is your rape dream similar to comfort eating? Think about it. 

Comfort eating is a powerful way to cope with trouble. 

 

Interpretation 22 - 

One of the most common elements observed in most situations of hostage and rape, abuse, torture etc is that survival is the most common collateral security used by all captors, abusers, narcissistic abusers, owners, authority figures, rapists, sociopaths and oppressors. It won't be possible otherwise. How else will you control the victim? You can only control them by threatening their survival. 

 

This is also often found in animal abuse. Animal abusers abuse the animal because they tame, enslave and feed them. If they weren't feeding the animal, the animal would run away to another source of feeding and survival. The common theme is - "i can do this to you. Because I'm your owner. I feed you. You either obey or I'll stop feeding you as punishment." The threat involves the survival of the animal. The animal is tamed through this method. The animal is not tamed through love but through conditioning fear that they would have to die or put down if they didn't want to be tamed. 

 

Rape also often involves control and suppression. Some people are raped at knife point or gun point. They are put in a situation where they have to decide to let themselves live or die. This threat is enough for most people to cave in to the demands of the oppressor. 

 

In essence if your survival needs are met in a safe secure way,  you wouldn't feel the need to budge or surrender to the demands of the rapist /oppressor.

 

But understand that survival is not love. 

 

 

Edited November 16, 2023 by Reena

[Reena]

9 minutes ago, Reena said:

Interpretation 22 - 

One of the most common elements observed in most situations of hostage and rape, abuse, torture etc is that survival is the most common collateral security used by all captors, abusers, narcissistic abusers, owners, authority figures, rapists, sociopaths and oppressors. It won't be possible otherwise. How else will you control the victim? You can only control them by threatening their survival. 

 

This is also often found in animal abuse. Animal abusers abuse the animal because they tame, enslave and feed them. If they weren't feeding the animal, the animal would run away to another source of feeding and survival. The common theme is - "i can do this to you. Because I'm your owner. I feed you. You either obey or I'll stop feeding you as punishment." The threat involves the survival of the animal. The animal is tamed through this method. The animal is not tamed through love but through conditioning fear that they would have to die or put down if they didn't want to be tamed. 

 

Rape also often involves control and suppression. Some people are raped at knife point or gun point. They are put in a situation where they have to decide to let themselves live or die. This threat is enough for most people to cave in to the demands of the oppressor. 

 

In essence if your survival needs are met in a safe secure way,  you wouldn't feel the need to budge or surrender to the demands of the rapist /oppressor.

 

But understand that survival is not love. 

 

 

Interpretation 23 - 

In the last interpretation I learned that captors and rapists use survival as a collateral security.. 

In this interpretation I learn that the trick the rapist uses to confuse the victim or captive is to convince them that the rapist cares about them or works in their interests. This makes it difficult to differentiate between hate and love.. 

Have you ever met a friend who acts as both an enemy as well as a friend? 

 

[Mandy]

@Reena Do you think maybe you could be more receptive to life in general, as well as people's comments here and now in this thread? Perhaps the dreams are a desire for receptivity? People actually want you to be happy and successful and fall in love with someone who loves you back and treats you like gold, and it seems like we're all wasting our time because you want a fantasy that you don't even want instead of that. 

[Reena]

1 hour ago, Mandy said:

@Reena Do you think maybe you could be more receptive to life in general, as well as people's comments here and now in this thread? Perhaps the dreams are a desire for receptivity? People actually want you to be happy and successful and fall in love with someone who loves you back and treats you like gold, and it seems like we're all wasting our time because you want a fantasy that you don't even want instead of that. 

You're misunderstanding me to such an awful degree that I'm left gobsmacked. 

I'm not in a celebratory mood, that's why this thread is in the emptying section and not the dating one. 

It's like we're on two different planes. 

I'm trying to process my rape dreams which are a consequence of trauma and you're talking about dating. 

I'm in a different state of mind entirely. 

I cannot even think of dating a man at this point because I'm not ready for something like that. For some reason your behavior feels coercive. It's like I'm supposed to act happy so that you can feel happy. But if I'm in pain, first I'll find ways to resolve or make sense of my pain, only then I can think of happiness and good things. 

People actually want you to be happy and successful and fall in love with someone who loves you back and treats you like gold,

 

This thread was started by me. Not by people. So it shouldn't be about what people want. But about what I want. And I'm trying to process my trauma and pain and come to some legitimate conclusion which is called "closure" in trauma processing. 

My relationships haven't gone well. I have felt hopeless. You are treating my rape dreams as a relationship problem and I'm treating it as a trauma problem. You're constantly deflecting from what I'm trying to do.

Maybe you can simply leave me alone if you don't understand my problems. It's not about being receptive. You're telling me to be receptive to things that aren't resonating with my state of mind. 

It's not about being receptive to people. It's about being receptive to perspectives. So far, your and Phil's perspective is far from what I'm looking for. 

I'll perhaps be receptive to a perspective that gives me a breakthrough clue on these rape dreams that will help my trauma processing. And I'll write my own interpretation till then. I welcome any fresh perspective from others or new people. 

Maybe you can focus on other threads. 

 

[Reena]

4 hours ago, Reena said:

Interpretation 23 - 

In the last interpretation I learned that captors and rapists use survival as a collateral security.. 

In this interpretation I learn that the trick the rapist uses to confuse the victim or captive is to convince them that the rapist cares about them or works in their interests. This makes it difficult to differentiate between hate and love.. 

Have you ever met a friend who acts as both an enemy as well as a friend? 

 

Interpretation 24- 

The rape dreams could be a signal that "life is unfair." 

 

[Mandy]

@Reena This is a conversation area. There is a journal area elsewhere on the forum you are more than welcome to use. If you aren't interested in receiving input in this thread, just write in a journal. I can even move this to the journal section if you'd like. 

 

The purpose of the emptying section is to empty, to express and let the relief be felt. The journal section is equally amazing for this. It's not to dig into it, dissect it, label it, arguing for your limitations and the sake of what you do not want while dismissing every single new perspective offered. If that's what you want to do, use a journal, that's fine. 

 

But since this is a thread that is inviting people to chime in, your problems are your identity, and that's the only problem. Let it go. 

[Reena]

4 hours ago, Reena said:

Interpretation 23 - 

In the last interpretation I learned that captors and rapists use survival as a collateral security.. 

In this interpretation I learn that the trick the rapist uses to confuse the victim or captive is to convince them that the rapist cares about them or works in their interests. This makes it difficult to differentiate between hate and love.. 

Have you ever met a friend who acts as both an enemy as well as a friend? 

 

Continuing on this one. 

Differentiating between hate and love.