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Life is on repeat


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Vaping, vaping, vaping

Just keep vaping

 

Hmm.. cold

Frozen skull

 

Is it really worth it?

Is it really cool?

 

Patterns keep repeating themselves

Life is on repeat

 

I never know when I dive into a new reality

As though new realities keep appearing

New realities, old realities

Always giving birth

Life is on repeat

 

My desires, my will, my power

All of it -

compromised

And all of my dreams -

sacrificed

 

Stuck in the same position

Noticing my hands

And here I realize

that it is all the same

and nothing changed

 

Cold air filling my lungs

Fear of addiction floating up

sometimes...

Deadened...?

Life is on repeat

 

I want to shout a change

I want to die

I want to merge with the ever dying experience,

which isn't actually dying,

but thought makes it seem so,

which is dying

 

Why do I need to change?

Why do I need to grow?

Can't I just fuck myself around?

Can't I just play around?

Can't I just get back to living - 

before spirituality was a thing?

 

New aspirations, new hope

As though they haven't appeared before...

Excitement for what's coming, relief from what's gone

As though they haven't appeared before...

The willingness to do something different,

perhaps even... Change your life around?

"Yeah! Go ahead man, you got this!"

Have you ever thought about this??

Life is on repeat

 

But I just want to be like him!

Please, show me how, give me the answers

I beg...

Life is on repeat

 

I don't know much about being alive

I don't know much about being

I don't know much about simplicity

 

I can still say that everything keeps returning

Every thought might reappear

The meanings and value,

back to the original

And emotions,

always coming back for a visit,

As though they haven't appeared before...

 

Life is on repeat

 

 

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7 minutes ago, Phil said:

One ‘loop’ is that of aversion. Rebelling against feeling, while feeling is the guidance, to receiving what you want. 

👆

 

Source is waiting for you with "Welcome back!" Balloons and presents 😊.

Edited by Orb

🌞🌚

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7 hours ago, Phil said:

Rebelling against feeling

So thoughts arise which don't resonate...

In these instances, should I put my focus on feeling the thoughts rather than believing the content?

Also, why am I resisting feeling? Why am I fearing death? Why do I have beliefs in the first place?

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12 hours ago, fopylo said:

So thoughts arise which don't resonate...

In these instances, should I put my focus on feeling the thoughts rather than believing the content?

If you put how you feel above what you think, then yes indeed. 

12 hours ago, fopylo said:

Also, why am I resisting feeling?

To be right. For how you think you’re seen. 

12 hours ago, fopylo said:

Why am I fearing death? Why do I have beliefs in the first place?

Cause you’re infinite and perfect. Inspect the thoughts/beliefs, to see if they’re true. Notice concepts of emotion / feeling, vs recognizing / understanding the specific emotions experienced.

 

It’s like knocking on many doors to see if better feeling is there, and then realizing you are the greatest feeling… and letting conditioning, beliefs to the contrary which feel discordant, go.  

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@Phil

14 hours ago, Phil said:

how you feel

And by that, I assume you don't mean emotions (such as jealousy, anger, boredom), because these are more labels, thoughts, to believe. I assume you mean sensations in the body, like an itch, cool in the area of the stomach, stiffness, relaxation in the area of_...

 

15 hours ago, Phil said:

Notice concepts of emotion / feeling, vs recognizing / understanding the specific emotions experienced.

Emotions are also concepts. Man.. emotions are so vague, you know? Like, what are emotions? An emotion is literally a category of thoughts together with sensations in the body, mixed up (conceptualized) and we call this emotion.

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@Phil Yeah but 'drink a pepsi' is less vague than 'discouragement'... The question that comes to mind is "How do you distinguish among the different emotions?" What is the cutting line? If your answer is "by how it feels".. Then by what method do you categorize an emotion by the sensations? What certain sensations and thoughts do I need to experience in order to conceivably experience the emotion of discouragement? 

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