Rose Posted May 21 Share Posted May 21 (edited) I have a friend I’ve known since grade 1. She is very judgmental and closed minded stage blue person. After I speak to her, her closed mindedness rubs off on me. She has a very “omg it’s so weird”, “he/she is so strange”, “it’s so weird when people do it” mindset. She is too limited to try new things so she criticizes people who are more open and adventurous labeling them weird, strange, not normal, etc., in a mocking way. I have to hide a huge part of my life from her because I know she will judge me and then gossip to her friends about how “weird” I am. After talking to her I do feel “weird” to be honest. Should I really try and limit my conversations with her? Is she going to drag me down with her closed mindedness and limiting beliefs? I feel like I am not getting much out of the friendship other than tenure The problem is that I myself am really struggling with being judgmental. And a lot of my judgment is internalized. I try very hard to overcome it, but when I am talking to people like my friend, it brings it out full force. Why is it bringing it out? Is it common that when you’re trying to overcome a “negative” trait, people who have it will trigger you? Like when you try to quit smoking you struggle to be around smokers? For example, I can spend hours in therapy and contemplation, trying to stop judging and accept a “flaw” that I have (e.g., not having many friends) to then talk to my friend and she makes fun of someone she knows for the same “flaw” (e.g., “yea this girl is so weird, she’s been living in her city for 10 years and she still never goes out because she doesn’t have any friends, haha”). So after I talk to her, I feel like shit again and that there is something wrong with me. Or I try to really step out of my comfort zone and do more presentations at work. I tell her that, when she comments “yea, but introverted people will never be good at presentations, you have to be born that way, we just don’t have that trait” Or she doesn’t go to the gym and doesn’t eat healthy, so she talks about how people who go to the gym often are basically addicted and the moment they stop going they balloon up right away.. she says it in a “haha what losers” kind of way.. And then another question, if I was to decide I should limit my conversations with her, how do I practice discipline with it? Because sometimes I feel like that inflatable doll at the car dealership - I tell myself I will limit talking to her, then the next thing I know I am talking to her on the phone again for 3 hours.. to feel like shit again.. and then I blame myself for not doing better again.. Edited May 21 by Rose Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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