Orb Posted May 17 Share Posted May 17 Things have been really clearing up lately but a common theme that still remains is impulsivity. There's still addictions, and it's concerning because 30-50 dollars are being spent on the addictions + over eating every day. It makes saving money difficult, but it's hard to stop. My fridge is full but I order food and overeat. Quote Mention "I shall give you what no eye has seen, and what no ear has heard, and what no hand has touched, and what has never entered into the human heart. "-Jesus (Gospel of Thomas) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted May 17 Author Share Posted May 17 If these behaviors are stopped there's painful sensations. Addiction is the worst thing, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I should've listened to what dare said before doing drugs at 16 years old. It's a viscious cycle of emotional discord, then using drugs to numb it, then ACTUAL pain being created due to withdrawal, and then using drugs to numb emotional discord AND withdrawals. Quote Mention "I shall give you what no eye has seen, and what no ear has heard, and what no hand has touched, and what has never entered into the human heart. "-Jesus (Gospel of Thomas) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loop Posted May 17 Share Posted May 17 1 hour ago, Orb said: It's a viscious cycle of emotional discord, then using drugs to numb it, then ACTUAL pain being created due to withdrawal, and then using drugs to numb emotional discord AND withdrawals. Use the drugs to feel deeper into repression. As in, change the context in which you are going to the drug, don’t try to force the addiction to drop. When feeling good after doing the drug, inquire. “What do I not want to feel?” ask this before, during, and after going to the drug. Slowly move to less expensive, healthier ways of regulating the nervous system. Quote Mention Ten thousand tears, One Belly Laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted May 17 Author Share Posted May 17 2 minutes ago, Loop said: Use the drugs to feel deeper into repression. As in, change the context in which you are going to the drug, don’t try to force the addiction to drop. When feeling good after doing the drug, inquire. “What do I not want to feel?” ask this before, during, and after going to the drug. Slowly move to less expensive, healthier ways of regulating the nervous system. I can't go the gradual route anymore. I've been trying to taper down for nearly 3 weeks at this point and I eventually take my original dose or sometimes even more. Quote Mention "I shall give you what no eye has seen, and what no ear has heard, and what no hand has touched, and what has never entered into the human heart. "-Jesus (Gospel of Thomas) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted May 17 Author Share Posted May 17 Ugh fine, I'll go the gradual route. But some discipline is really needed. And I don't wanna hear any neo advaita or loa stuff, discipline really is helpful sometimes. There's 8 billion + people in the world, not all of them are gonna be wired the same way. Give me an inch and I'll take an acre. Quote Mention "I shall give you what no eye has seen, and what no ear has heard, and what no hand has touched, and what has never entered into the human heart. "-Jesus (Gospel of Thomas) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted May 17 Share Posted May 17 Focus on the feeling of being debt free, do some meal planning, it'll be fun. Quote Mention Youtube Channel Website Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted May 17 Author Share Posted May 17 (edited) 4 minutes ago, Mandy said: Focus on the feeling of being debt free, do some meal planning, it'll be fun. Idk what to eat at this point. Anything I eat will create an inflammatory response. Idk what people are smoking when they say food is energizing, it's the complete opposite for me. Edited May 17 by Orb Quote Mention "I shall give you what no eye has seen, and what no ear has heard, and what no hand has touched, and what has never entered into the human heart. "-Jesus (Gospel of Thomas) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted May 17 Share Posted May 17 @OrbThat's not true. Make a food diary, write what you eat and how you feel. Just observe openly and make the best choices you can. Quote Mention Youtube Channel Website Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted May 17 Author Share Posted May 17 @Mandy I've had water mixed with the GOL powder and that makes me feel tired. Ive eaten a single banana and ive felt irritated and tired. I wish I could quit caffeine, kratom, and kava. I think my digestion would improve. Caffeine makes food boring. I don't appreciate the energy food gives me because caffeine gives more energy, it overshadows the energy from bananas and fruits. Food feels like a step down from caffeine. Quote Mention "I shall give you what no eye has seen, and what no ear has heard, and what no hand has touched, and what has never entered into the human heart. "-Jesus (Gospel of Thomas) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted May 17 Share Posted May 17 @Orb Try the Medical Medium 3 6 9 cleanse, it's awesome. Quote Mention Youtube Channel Website Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loop Posted May 17 Share Posted May 17 1 hour ago, Orb said: I can't go the gradual route anymore. Don’t focus on the addiction, but on feeling what is not wanted to be being felt, but is being felt. The addiction is a form of nervous system regulation. Take advantage of that. Quote Mention Ten thousand tears, One Belly Laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted May 18 Share Posted May 18 18 hours ago, Orb said: It's a viscious cycle of emotional discord, then using drugs to numb it, then ACTUAL pain being created due to withdrawal, and then using drugs to numb emotional discord AND withdrawals. The cycle happens in thought and involves the ‘separate self’ of thought. Keeping the cycle / loop going also involves labelling suffering (mental anguish & emotional discord) as physical pain. I’m not suggesting it isn’t challenging or difficult…. only that the end of the suffering is expression & allowing the ‘separate self’ and the distinction between emotional discord and (localized) bodily pain to receive the light of awareness / clarity. Put another way, whatever it is from childhood / conditioning - it is not your fault & it doesn’t define you, it isn’t identity related but very much seems to be / was interpreted that way… and that is what feels so off and stands to be released. That is ‘the separate self’ of thought. There are very high quality rehabilitation centers in your area btw, which are specialized in addiction & impulsivity. They have programs of meditations, expression, creativity and expression. Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted May 18 Share Posted May 18 Yesterday I had a bad stomach flu, and knew not to take anything I thought seriously because I knew I was under the influence of a virus, and all my energy was going to clearing that. Likewise when we are under the influence of discordant thoughts, no action taken from them will done with clarity, all focus needs to go to clearing the discord. That's why the most efficient thing is to focus on feeling better, go inward, take a break and then you can make decisions with clarity rather than impulsivity. Quote Mention Youtube Channel Website Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted May 18 Author Share Posted May 18 @Phil Rehab costs money in the 1000s lol. I'm already not gonna pay my hospital bills from my accident a few months back bc I can't afford it. Quote Mention "I shall give you what no eye has seen, and what no ear has heard, and what no hand has touched, and what has never entered into the human heart. "-Jesus (Gospel of Thomas) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted May 18 Author Share Posted May 18 2 hours ago, Mandy said: Yesterday I had a bad stomach flu, and knew not to take anything I thought seriously because I knew I was under the influence of a virus, and all my energy was going to clearing that. Likewise when we are under the influence of discordant thoughts, no action taken from them will done with clarity, all focus needs to go to clearing the discord. That's why the most efficient thing is to focus on feeling better, go inward, take a break and then you can make decisions with clarity rather than impulsivity. There's truth to this. I definitely feel better today, same cycle but not as upset. Quote Mention "I shall give you what no eye has seen, and what no ear has heard, and what no hand has touched, and what has never entered into the human heart. "-Jesus (Gospel of Thomas) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted May 18 Share Posted May 18 @Orb You'll get better at recognizing when "you're drunk go home", emotionally. 31 minutes ago, Orb said: @Phil Rehab costs money in the 1000s lol. I'm already not gonna pay my hospital bills from my accident a few months back bc I can't afford it. That's poverty thinking. Quote Mention Youtube Channel Website Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted May 18 Share Posted May 18 32 minutes ago, Orb said: @Phil Rehab costs money in the 1000s lol. I'm already not gonna pay my hospital bills from my accident a few months back bc I can't afford it. Here’s five free centers, if interested. I recommend non-aversion and self inquiry. Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted May 18 Author Share Posted May 18 (edited) @Phil non-aversion? My mom told me that it's best not to pay the hospital bills. She also said I can stop paying my car bills for the totaled car. I don't have much of a choice anyways. Edited May 18 by Orb Quote Mention "I shall give you what no eye has seen, and what no ear has heard, and what no hand has touched, and what has never entered into the human heart. "-Jesus (Gospel of Thomas) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted May 18 Author Share Posted May 18 Idk who to listen to at this point. Parents give shitty advice sometimes. Quote Mention "I shall give you what no eye has seen, and what no ear has heard, and what no hand has touched, and what has never entered into the human heart. "-Jesus (Gospel of Thomas) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted May 18 Share Posted May 18 The question is, where is the advice coming from? Is Mom under the influence of Source or worried or fearful about her son, drunk-go-home? Most importantly how does it resonate with you? Quote Mention Youtube Channel Website Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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