I would like to enjoy meditation but it sucks.

[Blessed2]

Just throwing this out there to see if maybe some relief is found.

 

I would like to enjoy meditation.

 

I can intuit the power of meditation. Just simple breathing meditation. I know there is a treasure there.

 

But it's so damn uncomfortable.

 

I often get triggered if someone recommends meditation or talks about how good it has been to them and how good they feel.

 

I'd like that too, but it just doesn't feel good to sit down and try to silence the mind etc. And the bad feeling just gets more strong.

 

 

I know all this monkey mind blabbering is useless. I walk outside and there is a constant noise and monkey mind going on.

 

From the few serene moments every now and then I know meditation is good.

 

I would like to have a walk outside and feel serene, in the moment. Aware. At peace. Without conflict.

 

But what comes to mind when I think of meditation is just the mountain. Endless monkey mind. How could I ever get there? How could I ever get all this healed?

 

 

The constant stream of thoughts just doesn't stop. However hard I try. Suffering just gets more intense.

[Mandy]

 

 

[Daniel]

Go to war with the mind and you'll be at war forever - and it's a war you can't win, it'll just wear you down. 

 

The problem is that you want to be having an experience other than the one you're currently having, and that's just a recipe for discontent; that's understandable, of course, it's just human to want to feel better, but that wanting just tends to make us suffer all the more. I struggled for years  to meditate in an effective way, mostly because I was doing what you're doing and trying to silence the monkey mind, and the fruitlessness of this approach became especially apparent when I started to experience severe anxiety and depression; in the end, I found that the most useful approach was to shift attention from the mind to the body, and focus on simply allowing my body to relax and breathe. By practising in this simple way, the repressed emotions that were fuelling my chaotic mental activity gradually started to release, and I found that my monkey mind started to slow down all on its own, with no conscious intention on my part to do so.

 

But I needed patience and discipline - lots and lots of it. And I needed  a willingness to sit with the discomfort, to relax any resistance to it that was present in my body, which could be felt as tightness and tension. It was a very rocky journey in all honesty, I would start to feel worse before I started to feel better as all the repressed grief, anger, fear, etc., started to arise. But it was worth the effort, I feel so much better now.

[Isagi Yoichi]

12 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

But what comes to mind when I think of meditation is just the mountain. Endless monkey mind. How could I ever get there? How could I ever get all this healed?

 

 

The constant stream of thoughts just doesn't stop. However hard I try. Suffering just gets more intense.

 

how long have you been meditating?

 

you must be consistent to see results

 

I think your problem is you don't do meditation every day. 

[Phil]

If there were subjects and objects it would be possible for a subject to enjoy an object.

But subjects & objects like me & meditation is only the activity of thought obscuring meditation. 

 

It doesn’t feel good to try and silence the mind because that’s the ego. The (in accordance with believing thoughts) separate one. The believing of thoughts about there being a me which has a mind. 

There’s no such ‘thing’ as bad feeling, there is how that thought about self feels because the thought is a thought and self is feeling & being the thought. 

 

The thought about how other ‘people’ are good at or enjoy meditation feels discordant because it just isn’t true. 

 

Then there’s the ‘ultimate’ deception, “I know”. 

Utter illusion of believing thoughts. 

Not knowing is the truth and the truth is already absolutely free.

 

The constant stream of thoughts is fine, it’s the discord of the thoughts which is discordant. The thoughts about there being a separate or second self to heal are discordant because the story isn’t true. There’s no one to believe about this, there’s just the self evidence or, how the thoughts feel.