Questions about judgement

[Rose]

Isn’t judgment needed to be able to differentiate things? Can you truly live a life without any judgment? 
 

For example, how do you go on dating without any judgement? Wouldn’t you then just date everyone equally?

 

Can you judge and label, but in an objective way without negative connotation to it? For example:

 

- This guy is a player.

- I recognize it because he is doing all the typical things player does:  Adds 100s of girls on instagram, unable to hold a relationship longer than 3 months

- I don’t have any negative emotions towards him because I understand he probably has emotional trauma which doesn’t allow him to connect with women on a deeper level OR he might just be really-really picky/confused

- I move on from the guy because he is currently being a player and I want a guy who is committed and ready for a serious relationship 

 

Is there any issue with judgement/labelling in my line of thinking above? 

[Rose]

Second question - isn’t judgment how we learn? Don’t we need judgment to learn about the world around us? 

[Mandy]

If judgement coincides with suffering, it's not an accurate judgement, if it feels like recognition, knowing, clarity or letting go, then it is clarity. If we don't put how we feel over what we believe, we're willing to suffer and perpetuate a chain of pain kind of judgement in which we judge others/ourselves. Then we judge ourselves in order to try to prevent getting judged by others, but what we're trying to prevent isn't their freedom of thought, but the horrible feeling we get when we think it. Once you recognize that it's not about avoiding the feeling, you're free. 

 

Judgement can't be "bad", that would be a really funny judgement. 

[Mandy]

4 hours ago, Rose said:

Second question - isn’t judgment how we learn? Don’t we need judgment to learn about the world around us? 

There's learning as recognition and learning as in practicing patterns of avoidance and prejudice, again neither good nor bad, only known in how it feels in the very moment.

[Joseph Maynor]

If you integrate the human and the Divine you can realize that there's a paradox between judgment and no judgment.  No judgment is the Divine.  Judgment is the human.  Both are here.  So don't apologize for your human bias, that's a trap in my opinion. 

 

Love your bias.  But also realize too, if it's real it deserves to be here on some level otherwise it wouldn't exist.  That's more of the Divine.  So there's a working with between honoring and loving your perspective and then deeply realizing it's just one perspective out of about a trillion other perspectives here. 

 

A lot of Divine people have the human in their shadow so they're sort of screwed up with accepting, loving, and honoring their own unique perspective and even taking a bias towards it -- even though everyone does have a bias and a perspective whether they want to admit this or not.

 

The working with between the paradox The I vs./and The Whole.  Almost nobody seems to get this right in my opinion.  I don't know what the problem is.  I think people have a hard time thinking paradoxically.  Love and honor your judgment, but be able to put it into a broader context without losing it too.  That's the walking and chewing gum at the same time part.

Edited March 27, 2023 by Joseph Maynor

[Rose]

@Mandy so basically judgment is only “judgement” when it comes with strong emotions? Shouldn’t there be a different word for the kind of judgment which doesn’t come with strong emotions? Is there a word? 

[Mandy]

@Rose Not necessarily strong. Perhaps the most dangerous are the most mild. The pessimism, the boredom, the irritation. Not that emotions are dangerous but perhaps those are the easiest to ignore. 

[Rose]

3 minutes ago, Mandy said:

@Rose Not necessarily strong. Perhaps the most dangerous are the most mild. The pessimism, the boredom, the irritation. Not that emotions are dangerous but perhaps those are the easiest to ignore. 

So is it any kind of emotion? What about humour or entertainment? 

[Phil]

On 3/27/2023 at 1:13 AM, Rose said:

Is there any issue with judgement/labelling in my line of thinking above? 

Describe the guy you want in as much detail as possible. 

You are the creator of your reality. 

Via your word. 

 

You don’t know what good & bad are, and therein you aren’t able to judge. 

[Mandy]

10 hours ago, Rose said:

So is it any kind of emotion? What about humour or entertainment? 

Humor, curiosity and crying aren't emotions, but releases available and possible in every emotion. 

[Rose]

On 3/28/2023 at 7:40 AM, Mandy said:

Humor, curiosity and crying aren't emotions, but releases available and possible in every emotion. 

So when I make a joke about the qualities I judge, that would help me to release the judgment? 

[Mandy]

@Rose You can make a joke without seeing the humor in it though. You also can't see the humor if you're judging something, so by doing less judging you'll see more humor and by looking for the humor, you'll judge less, so it all works out together. 

[Mandy]

Sometimes it's like you wanna make fun of it, but you also kinda really wanna be it in some way too. Isn't that funny? 

 

[Phil]

Cocaine was so prevalent in the 80’s. 

[Mandy]

@Phil 🤣