I think I've been forgetting

[fopylo]

It's been a long time since I've spent time engaging with this forum.

I just had a conversation today with Phil and it looks like I really forgot some of the big things all this is about.

He reminded me that all we truly want is to feel great. I knew it like my right hand at the time, but this time it took me some time. He asked me what I want the most, and I said "Power" (but to be fair, I was being honest in that moment).

I ain't gonna lie, my head hurts sometimes after talking with you @Phil 😅, and I think it's because you tend to correct my language a lot (like to say 'think' instead of 'feel', or telling me 'there's no but..', or 'where are you? point.. you don't exist', or 'there is no tomorrow'), and I then overthink them and feel (I know it should be 'think', but I'm just flowing with the expression) dumb for talking. It's a form of suppression I think.

But if I were to spend more time on the forum then you probably wouldn't have said that I'll only be willing to start feeling in my mid 30's (15 years from now) to your estimate.

I haven't been active a lot here because I had enough of those mental rants all the time, reading the same shit over and over... but yeah.. at some point I just forget everything... but you say it's awesome to forget.

I don't practice meditation anymore (I really don't have time for it), but I do exercise every day.

 

Yeah, I still have my own issues though, such as social anxiety, inferiority/superiority complex, fantasizing romance, living in a messy environment, wanting to be a leader but ending up as a clown, priorities messed up 

[Phil]

2 hours ago, fopylo said:

It's been a long time since I've spent time engaging with this forum.

I just had a conversation today with Phil and it looks like I really forgot some of the big things all this is about.

He reminded me that all we truly want is to feel great. I knew it like my right hand at the time, but this time it took me some time. He asked me what I want the most, and I said "Power" (but to be fair, I was being honest in that moment).

I ain't gonna lie, my head hurts sometimes after talking with you @Phil 😅, and I think it's because you tend to correct my language a lot (like to say 'think' instead of 'feel', or telling me 'there's no but..', or 'where are you? point.. you don't exist', or 'there is no tomorrow'), and I then overthink them and feel (I know it should be 'think', but I'm just flowing with the expression) dumb for talking. It's a form of suppression I think.

Always a pleasure. 🙏

I thought your language was perfectly fine as is, and I don’t think you should feel dumb for talking (or for suppressing either, if that’s what’s meant).

Quite the contrary. Big fan of expression here. ✊🏼 The expression journal is a really great tool. 

 

2 hours ago, fopylo said:

But if I were to spend more time on the forum then you probably wouldn't have said that I'll only be willing to start feeling in my mid 30's (15 years from now) to your estimate.

I haven't been active a lot here because I had enough of those mental rants all the time, reading the same shit over and over... but yeah.. at some point I just forget everything... but you say it's awesome to forget.

I don't practice meditation anymore (I really don't have time for it), but I do exercise every day.

 

Yeah, I still have my own issues though, such as social anxiety, inferiority/superiority complex, fantasizing romance, living in a messy environment, wanting to be a leader but ending up as a clown, priorities messed up 

Nothing to do with the forum or age at all. It’s that feeling isn’t in a future. Or put another way, it’s not possible to feel in a place & time one isn’t & can’t go to. Even tomorrow. 

 

Follow up questions are always welcomed, and as far as I’m concerned you’re free to share anything you want from private conversations on the forum. My preference however is to use private messaging as there can sometimes be misinterpretations in hindsight which could be cleared up privately with respect to your privacy and anything that might arise or come up. 

[James123]

15 hours ago, fopylo said:

It's been a long time since I've spent time engaging with this forum.

I just had a conversation today with Phil and it looks like I really forgot some of the big things all this is about.

He reminded me that all we truly want is to feel great. I knew it like my right hand at the time, but this time it took me some time. He asked me what I want the most, and I said "Power" (but to be fair, I was being honest in that moment).

I ain't gonna lie, my head hurts sometimes after talking with you @Phil 😅, and I think it's because you tend to correct my language a lot (like to say 'think' instead of 'feel', or telling me 'there's no but..', or 'where are you? point.. you don't exist', or 'there is no tomorrow'), and I then overthink them and feel (I know it should be 'think', but I'm just flowing with the expression) dumb for talking. It's a form of suppression I think.

But if I were to spend more time on the forum then you probably wouldn't have said that I'll only be willing to start feeling in my mid 30's (15 years from now) to your estimate.

I haven't been active a lot here because I had enough of those mental rants all the time, reading the same shit over and over... but yeah.. at some point I just forget everything... but you say it's awesome to forget.

I don't practice meditation anymore (I really don't have time for it), but I do exercise every day.

 

Yeah, I still have my own issues though, such as social anxiety, inferiority/superiority complex, fantasizing romance, living in a messy environment, wanting to be a leader but ending up as a clown, priorities messed up 

Don't forget that the purpose of life is the realization of the Truth and best feeling in the life is being in Love. 

[Phil]

@James123

🙏🏻🤍

 

@fopylo

It’s possible some of what you’re sharing here publicly is more related to that power you mentioned, when all you really want, as you mentioned, is feeling.