Kevin Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 So I feel pretty stuck. I see how what is focused is what is most important because that will keep showing up. For some reason though I keep focusing on negative things. Things that feel bad to focus on. Then a loop happens where I know that the reason that I keep focusing on negative stuff is that there is something wrong with me. Of course I can’t point to that person who is terrible but it’s felt somehow still. Like the only reason I focus on all these negative things like people are judging me and I’m a loser, etc, is because there is something wrong with me. Another part of the dynamic at play is I find something that I enjoy. Jiu jitsu or making music for example. The. I hyper fixate on that thing. The hyper fixation itself isn’t necessarily a problem. I actually think it’s good because I’ll get to where I want to be. The problem is that the reason I hyper fixate is because I believe that my life sucks and I’m unlikable as a person. But I believe that if I became a world champion in jiu jitsu or if I became a famous musician then maybe people would like me. Maybe girls would like me. All very negative things to think about myself. The interpretation is that I only focus on such terrible things because there is something wrong with me. And I can fix this by being a famous musician or a top level bjj competitor. But then that whole collection of thoughts takes some of the joy out of both activities. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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