Most effective way to raise children?

[Eternal]

@Phil

Just curious what is the most effective way to raise children so that they avoid aquiring unnecessary conditioning and can realise who they actually are?

 

Is a child self realized when they are born without any conception of time and only know love and happiness? Does a child's ego only develop based on how the parents raise it?

[Phil]

Avoidance is the unnecessary conditioning.

Beliefs aren’t acquired, acquiring is a belief. ‘They’ already are who they actually are. 

If anything is “the work” of a parent, of the apparent - it’s mindfully keeping ‘them’ out of harm’s way.

Out of falling into cults of personality which convince ‘them’ they are not what they are, but could become what they are.

Cult “leaders”, like preaches, pastors, self help guru’s, etc, which attempt to convince ‘them’ there is ‘an ego’, which is developing ‘in time’, and therein that love & happiness are something other than themself, and that they could become or attain or obtain love & happiness… as a means of essentially selling themself to themself, for money, from a place of avoidance. 

 

There isn’t a separate self, such as a child, which is born, which becomes self realized.

The conception is of a concept of there being another, second, or separate self. 

 

The most effective way is sincerity, authenticity, integrity, what is, the truth. Life is challenging enough. Non-avoidance is the way. 

[Eternal]

1 hour ago, Phil said:

Avoidance is the unnecessary conditioning.

Beliefs aren’t acquired, acquiring is a belief. ‘They’ already are who they actually are. 

If anything is “the work” of a parent, of the apparent - it’s mindfully keeping ‘them’ out of harm’s way.

Out of falling into cults of personality which convince ‘them’ they are not what they are, but could become what they are.

Cult “leaders”, like preaches, pastors, self help guru’s, etc, which attempt to convince ‘them’ there is ‘an ego’, which is developing ‘in time’, and therein that love & happiness are something other than themself, and that they could become or attain or obtain love & happiness… as a means of essentially selling themself to themself, for money, from a place of avoidance. 

 

There isn’t a separate self, such as a child, which is born, which becomes self realized.

The conception is of a concept of there being another, second, or separate self. 

 

The most effective way is sincerity, authenticity, integrity, what is, the truth. Life is challenging enough. Non-avoidance is the way. 

 

@Phil

 

Well society doesn't do a great job as most believe in a seperate self 😥

 

Maybe it is schools that enforce the belief of the seperate self.. 

Edited January 17, 2023 by Eternal

[Phil]

@Eternal

What would love say?

[Mandy]

Love em, share what you love with them, and really, really support them in all the ways you can to explore their interests and help them find ways to do what they love. 

[Eternal]

1 hour ago, Phil said:

@Eternal

What would love say?

Um... introduce them to actualize.org? idk

[Tarak]

I don't think it's even possible to not "taint" your kids with conditioning. It's a part of living a human life. I even believe conditioning is a crucial part in learning. You need to be conditioned to break free.

 

I'm still in the middle of raising my son (he's 10), but I have a feeling I'm doing a good job, so here's my 5 cents:

 

- Don't treat them like children, but as a human being. Listen to them when they speak and think about it before you "overrule". You'd be amazed how more intelligent and logical they are than adults. There should be some boundaries, but these should be logical and explainable. A child will not try to break rules when they understand the validity of them. But if your reasoning is "because I say so", you are setting up the perfect storm for a war between you and the kids.

- Don't force feed information, but go for Socratic questioning: ask questions until they realize the answer themselves.

- Counteract the material view they learn in school with a holistic view. My kid knows that the majority of people in the world only believe in materialism and "science", but he is also aware that 75% of scientific studies are not reproducible and that matter is a consequence of reality, not the origin.

 

When his teacher asked a few months ago what the most important thing in life is, most of the class said "money". My kid said "love". I count that as a win.