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Life became okay


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Just an update. I didn't really do anything different except start playing this game called RuneScape. I've been playing it since September and life has got more tolerable. My tension headaches aren't as bad and my restlessness from my medication isn't as bad either. I no longer experience derealization. My life is still really boring from the outside looking in, but I'm quite content with it. I love just spending all day alone with my laptop. Life doesn't need to get any better from here on until the day I reincarnate. I still have existential fears about radical implications of oneness but that's probably some bs that Leo came up with. My life had no indications that there would be eternal torture, if I look at my childhood if you told that young boy that he'd experience the life of everyone who ever lived that would be the cruelest thing to hear. The thing is my childhood and the time and place I was born, it can't be random. But only I can understand that. 

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