Some change in the way I look and the effect on my life

[fopylo]

I colored my hair yesterday for the first time ever to silver with a bit of blond at the front, I'm wearing a black hoody with a skull on it and black sweatpants. This feels a bit weird to get used to this look because it also associates a certain personality and a facet of myself. Before this change my hair was regular, hair kinda sharp, people sometimes joked that I look a bit like a Nazi lol (hey I'm Jew) with my haircut, I felt a sense of seriousness and also of naturalness. I was more of a 'man'. Now, although I have this new color I feel less of a man and more like a 'wannabi someone', clapped, not sure of his gender orientation, new gen kid, an artist who is depressed and uses drugs lol. Obviously these are labels but I still see it a bit like it. I've also started vaping like a few months ago, so it even more fits the image damn. A change in appearance is all it takes to feel alien to yourself and question your true identity...

[fopylo]

Oh so today I went back to the barber for him to fix it a bit (because I had some blond like I said, and wanted him to color it silver). So he colored everything silver again. I'm quite disappointed now and upset. It came actually quite bad. For fuck sake! Now my hair looks more gray than silver (darker) and the blond, well it didn't disappear really, just became darker. My hair is gray with 2 part that are dark blond, shit. I mean it isn't terrible but I kinda prefer the way I looked before. People say I look like from k-pop, or like an old man...

[Mandy]

People say? People joked? 

Are these thoughts you are thinking not resonating but you are believing them because they seemed to come from an outside source, other people?

Can you feel an identity? Feel like a man or whatever else? Or think it and feel the resonance or resistance of those thoughts? 

[Faith]

@fopylo You poor thing. So, not only have I colored my hair different colors in my lifetime and perhaps not been too happy with it, a time or two, but my first career was as a hair dresser.

So, depending on how unhappy you are, there are things you can do. You can cut it shorter, so it grows out faster with a few haircuts or you could call up the hairdresser and tell them how unhappy your are and will they fix it or start over with another upscale color correction hairdresser to fix it.

I'll tell you my worst color issue was when I was in 11th grade I was taking cosmetology, but was in my first year. So really didn't know anything.

Anyways, I had heavily blonde highlight hair for several years and thought, hmm, I think I'll go back to being a brunette. I bought a box color medium brown and colored my hair at home, and oh my God, I made a mess of my hair. It was jett black!

See you should not put a brown color on hair that has been blonde without first putting on a protein filler. Guess I didn't get that far in my training, lol. 😂

It was so bad and so drastic I had to wear it up in this clip, we use to call it a banana clip and because it was pulled so far back it didn't look to awful. I wore my hair like that for 2 months. Oh, forgot to say I tried all the tricks to lighten it without destroying my hair. They didn't work. 🤭 However, after the 2 months it actually looked pretty good. 

This too shall pass! 😘

[Links]

It's a valid observation that the way we look on the outside affects how we think & feel inside, even a simple thing like a haircut. I guess the industry knows this so it pushes lots of products onto us. But the main thing is to love ourselves however we are.