I Resist Being Similar to Other People

[Orb]

This is a weird reaction that takes place in my experience. 

 

I have this obsession with being my true authentic self, and I have a fear of being like other people yet I cant help but absorb some of their mannerisms and speech patterns.

 

Im not sure if this is a normal thing or not, but it feels weird when I notice my behaviors begin to mimic other people that I talk to a lot.

 

I think its a great thing to look into, theres so many different personalities in the world, is my personality an amalgamation of different personality traits that i've mimicked from other people throughout my life? Or do we all have a unique solid personality?

[Mandy]

What's a personality? 

 

 

[Orb]

@Mandy a combination of other personalities. 

 

its this weird thing where theres no original personality. We are a bunch of interconnected snow flakes.

[Mandy]

@Orb But what assumptions are the idea of a personality based on? 

[Orb]

@Mandy that there are persons 😇

[Mandy]

@Orb 🙂

 

Why can't I be free to be what the moment calls for? Personality = what I think of myself or someone else. Are there two, one that can be the "same as" the other? 

[Orb]

@Mandy

12 hours ago, Mandy said:

@Orb 🙂

 

Why can't I be free to be what the moment calls for?

Sounds like the better option. 

 

12 hours ago, Mandy said:

Are there two, one that can be the "same as" the other? 

Nah there arent two. But there are similarities, like how you may have similar behaviors with your parents.

[Mandy]

@Orb Why do you think we would emulate behaviors? 

[Orb]

@Mandy I don't think, I actually do it, subconsciously.

[Mandy]

@Orb Ok, but what would be the motivation in doing in, even if that motivation is not conscious in that moment?

[Orb]

@Mandy I don't know who I am, i never have. 

 

All these people saying they're unique, I don't know what's unique about me, I've just mimicked behaviors from other people for all the years that I've been alive. 

[Mandy]

@Orb Kids emulate to learn, kids emulate to communicate, kids emulate because they appreciate something, kids emulate because they are scared of being disliked, kids emulate because they assume that's what's expected from them, kids emulate because they are scared and can't access their own creativity right then. We never stop being kids, but we do learn when it's worth breaking the patterns, and setting off on our own path, and feeling the fear rather than averting from it. 

[Orb]

@Mandy my true personality is bitter and nasty honestly. But idek if that's my true personality.

 

@Devin it seems to me like they can. 

[Mandy]

@Orb I don't agree with that but, everyone loved the show House because of how bitter and nasty House is. 🤷‍♂️ Are bitter and nasty actually emotions or anger and discouragement that you might be experiencing?

[Orb]

@Mandy yes they're emotions. 

 

im so fucking pissed right now 😡😡.

[Phil]

On 11/4/2022 at 7:48 PM, Orb said:

I have this obsession with being my true authentic self, and I have a fear of being like other people

The authentic, and only self, is infinite and is being the ‘thoughts’ about there being another self … a “separate self”, which is ‘obsessed’ with being ‘my’ authentic self, and ‘has’ fear of being liked by… “people”. Fear’s an emotion, which is also not a separate thing, and could be interpreted as guidance with respect to false beliefs. 

 

On 11/4/2022 at 7:48 PM, Orb said:

I cant help but absorb some of their mannerisms and speech patterns.

There is no ‘their’… ‘that’ is you, without exception. 

 

On 11/4/2022 at 7:48 PM, Orb said:

Or do we all have a unique solid personality?

Solid is like unicorn. There’s the thought but not the ‘thing’. 
 

On 11/7/2022 at 6:58 AM, Orb said:

@Mandy I don't think, I actually do it, subconsciously.

Not really subconscious if you’re aware of it. 

[Orb]

@Phil

 

On 11/8/2022 at 2:14 PM, Phil said:

There is no ‘their’… ‘that’ is you, without exception. 

What do you mean by this?

[Phil]

29 minutes ago, Orb said:

@Phil

 

What do you mean by this?

As far as obsession with being this self and not that self, or being a self which has fear of being like other selves… there’s one incomparably infinite nondual self, and that self is unconditional love, and you are that self, and all you’ve ever experienced and are experiencing now is that self.