Eternal Posted August 11, 2022 Share Posted August 11, 2022 Just been thinking that I really want to move out, make money as I basically have no income coming in and don't even seem motivated by monet but one thing is stopping me from achieving my greatest potential and that is women... I find them so alluring and I deeply crave sex all the time, even at the dispense of my longer term goals and want I want in life. I would choose meeting a girl and having sex with her over trying to move out of my grandmothers and live on my own because it feels so deeply satisfying being in that moment and after all, looking at properties is a lot of work. I don't like work, I seem to just like hedonistic pleasures and avoid doing the actual thing that is going to fulfill me in the long run. Even when I am working, my mind will always be thinking about girls. So I can distract myself from doing the work, like there is so much resistence to doing anything hard. I want the good life but have everything easy. I am always addicted to my mobile phone, getting so many thoughts every day about checking it. Thinking about the next women that I want to have sex with. I think I have a mobile phone and a sex addiction. I find it is litteraly stopping me from doing the so called things that 'I want' on my dream board. The huge distractions of women, I just find them so incredibly tempting. To the point where I feel powerless in my decisions throughout the day. I always choose sex over hard work any day. Maybe this is just a lot of karma that I need to burn through but my social skills are bad and I need to improve them so that is something. It is just what makes me sad is that I never have any money and I don't even feel motivated by money. I basically just leech of my family and think that money grows on trees or some shit. I have no sense of work ethic or discipline in life. That is what I want.. work ethic, money, moving out but how do I get that when I am so incredibly distracted my techonology and girls and sex.. it feels so impossible. Whenever I check my phone, I subtly beat myself up for doing it as if I should not check my phone since my idealized version of myself would think being on a phone is a complete timewaste. Compulsive urges to check if a girl has texted me though, it is not knowing what I find so alluring. When I turn it off do not disturb, am I going to get a text message or not. It is that addiction which makes me constantly check my phone. I want it to stop though because really what is the point of checking my phone, I don't get why I am so addicted to hedonism and short term pleasures. Sometimes my brain just feels like it is fried and can never have a good work ethic. I get distracted so easily. Well, I kind of have more clarity about what I want but in terms of getting it, girls may be holding me back by all the temptations On my dream board I don't want to always compulsively check my phone so why do I?? I don't want to be the kind of person who will be addicted to technology for the rest of my life 😞 I don't want to be addicted to sex and women.. but I just cannot help myself.. I get agitated and Irritated and seduced into sex by the female body. I wish I was not so addicted to women and pleasure so I can actually make money and work on myself... Hopefully I won't be forever trapped... Everyday I keep saying it is going to be different but I always don't give a shit about money and just want sex pretty much. Sometimes I will waste my days and only look forward to my dates that evening. I will even compromise my own values to meet a girl and fuck her because I get so tense and irritated with being on my own... I want a female body.. and a connection/someone to talk to and have fun with but it is all a waste of time. I am not achieving anything by doing it so why do I Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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