Annoyed by my Mother

[Orb]

I feel bad doing this, why do parents do this? Its so perverse, so fucking disgusting!!!

 

Why do beings which you had such an intimate connection with (Sperm/Fetus/Eggs) then hurt you, manipulate you, or put pressure on you to take care of them? 

 

Ive been living with my mom for 2 years and im fed up. 

 

For my entire life she lied to me about the past and had me lie to authorities when we were younger, she was highly manipulative and needy and always pressured me as a kid to take care of her, to be "The Man" in the family and protect her, but I was just a kid!!

 

Now shes doing better, shes more trust worthy and we've actually spoken about stuff more openly. 

 

For example, my mom always acts like she was the innocent one in her relationship with my Ex-Step dad years ago. I ended up having the balls to call her out on her bullshit and told her that I saw her with my own two eyes as a kid hitting my Ex-Step dad, she got hysterical, I stayed calm didnt make things personal just told her thats the simple honest truth. 

 

The next day she said "thank you, I really appreciate your perspective." you notice how she said "your perspective"? Instead of taking responsibility she still pretends like shes either unaware or completely innocent when she has always been the one "pulling all the strings"!

 

Shes not as bad as years before but shes still irresponsible and always asks me for help with everything, she doesnt take out the trash, wash the dishes, mop (although she did recently so okay I acknowledge that), clean the stove, clean the kitchen, grab her bags from the car. 

 

She asks me to do almost everything for her and its fucking annoying! 

 

I hate being the bigger person here, like im a young guy and im literally cleaning up after the messes my mom leaves in the kitchen. 

 

Like she'll order food and just leave all the garbage on the counter, she doesnt even put the garbage where it belongs, IN THE GARBAGE CAN! 

 

Then comes all the religious shit, shes always trying to convince me to read the bible. 

 

She has been aware of my opinions on spirituality and she holds this narrative of me where im the guy who hasnt been saved by jesus, so whenever I have depression or any issue my mom always implies its because I havent started reading the bible / praying / accepting jesus. 

 

These people are fucking crazy. I need to move out of here. 

 

I want to live in a house thats clean, I want to marry a woman who cleans up after herself and acts her age!

 

Im a bit annoyed because I know im gonna be rich and I dont want her to leech off of me, her whole life shes been a leech. 

 

Leeches disgust me, they use the words "love" "family" "community" to disguise their manipulativeness/lack of personal responsibility.

 

Not to mention when I have grandchildren, she wants to be the stereotypical grandmother who sugars up my kids which is 1) so predictable and lame 2) what the hell! 

 

I dont want her traumatizing my kids with her religious thinking, ah I cant stand people sometimes, they traumatize their own children with these stupid beliefs, they create their own problems. 

 

Thats all for now, well shit.... Ive just roasted my mom..

 

Lately i've had a lot of stuff coming out of me, I may seem more aggressive or mad idk. 

 

Its just so annoying to have parents who fart you into this world and expect you to wipe their asses because they brought you here. 

 

Like wtf!! I'll never put such a heavy burden on my own kids, ill make sure I take care of myself so my kids can enjoy their own lives without having the pressure of helping me, what bullshit!!

[Orb]

I love my mom and will help her regardless of how annoying she is, im just vomiting out all my anger. 

 

I feel that the solution is to accept my situation and just haul ass, get money, move out, help my mom and inspire her to start caring about how she feels (Ironic I know dont judge me!).

[Phil]

1 hour ago, Orb said:

I need to move out of here

👍🏻 

[Orb]

@Phil 🤣

 

I do feel bad, she comes home cheerful and full of life and I know that I've been talking badly about her all day lol. 

 

I feel a bit of guilt. I'm sure the answers just to let it go. I think I'm a hypocrite for talking badly about my mom then acting nice to her out of fear of stirring up drama.

[Phil]

@Orb

Nope. Keep talking. Tell her what you’re REALLY angry about. Stop playing games with her and yourself. 

You have every right to be angry. 

[Orb]

@Phil I'm willing to but I wanna have my own place first so I feel more secure lol 

[Phil]

@Orb

Maybe it works the other way around. 

[Mandy]

2 hours ago, Orb said:

Its just so annoying to have parents who fart you into this world and expect you to wipe their asses because they brought you here. 

Oh no you didn't.  😆

 

The worst part about getting into cool water to swim is the thoughts about it, the instant you're in swimming it's like "what the hell was THAT all about?" 

[Orb]

@Mandy Well I love cold water, bring it on! 😀😤

 

30 minutes ago, Mandy said:

Oh no you didn't.  😆

 

 

Yea....I went there. 😈

 

@Phil I'm scared to 🥲. Everything I bring things up she starts freaking out and she doesn't fully take responsibility. Plus I'm living under her roof.

[Phil]

@Orb

Take full responsibility for how you bring these things up, and move out. Bring it up… but just be mindful it might be an equally difficult and triggering subject for her. Stick to your business, your role in it, what you want or need to express, what you want to let go of & move past.  Let her do her. Let that be her business. 

[Orb]

@Phil thanks than the advice. 

 

Yea the thing is I'm already at the age where I'm leaving the nest so I'm just gonna keep doing me, what's more important is that I express the anger and let it go. 

 

I think setting my boundaries and focusing on getting my license is the key. 

 

Also instead of trying to "fix her" or persuade her or anything like that, I can lead by example and just live deliberately.

 

When I was studying the other day she did get up and clean. 

 

I'm also mindful of her own path and what she's ready to let go of, sometimes telling someone something when they aren't ready to hear it can backfire, and they'll just get more firmly rooted into defensiveness, it's all about finding the right moment to bring it up. 

[Phil]

@Orb

Right on. Maybe on her day off. With that convo I think calmness is the key.