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I don't feel like elaborating the whole story - thinking about this overwhelms me (the amount of journaling required).

Anyways, there's this girl in the program (fyi there are 54 men and 5 women). This is a program for people on the spectrum (high functioning) and I'm pretty much friends with everyone - very cool awesome people there!

That one girl is pretty much the most dominant out of all - like she is the most engaged, very friendly, high morale, energetic, positive (everyone in the program knows her. All the other girls aren't that social so we don't really know them). She is also probably the most attractive of all.

I got a bit attracted to her, but it seemed like there was something going on between her and another dude, so I backed up.

With time, and with the help of my gay friend, I've gotten more information and help, sort of a wingman, yes.

I've discovered she's into me, great news!

Over the course of a few days we chatted, spoke on the phone, irl sometimes, and also went for a run.

Today in the bus we sat next to each other at the back and it was nice. Problem was that 2 of her gay friends were also next to her.. Luckily the commander had to take them off for some irrelevant reason.. I was relieved.

We played a card game, then another dude joined (this dude from the beginning, yes) and it was very fun. Then she drew on me a bit, and then we slowly started holding hands.


But wow! I was quite surprised of myself for being so calm about this situation! And there were many in the bus!

I think the reason is because everyone here is autistic and so I don't care too much, not very stressful. Not gonna lie, I have the upper edge from almost everyone here (without bragging too much). If it were neuro-typical people then maybe it would've been a different story (btw, from my understanding she is the only one who isn't really autistic. She's been diagnosed from birth but it might've been a little mistake, although she is kind of a nerd and hyper-active).

She then put another hand on my arm and also like 1-2 times we leaned our heads against each other for like a second.

I have to say she is pretty much leading this situation, which is quite funny because my gay wingman (the good friend of her) told me to take it very easy and calm with her because of some stuff from her past which he didn't elaborate out of respect.


But man... now we are like 5 minutes from our destination and I am getting nervous.


I am wet and hard all the way down. Damn, too obvious. Funny situation, isn't it..


I was in the bus waiting for the other people to get off so I can calm my penis in the meantime, but eventually I had to get off. I walked out bent over so that my dick is less sticking out (man, I literally had a small wet spot that surprisingly managed to go through my underwear through those thick pants).

I was nervous, yet at the same time I was kinda calm, like I don't quite know how to explain it. Something to do with being with autistic people that I can trust more and that I can feel more calm in such an environment.


I didn't want to look at her much, for fear of triggering the sexual thoughts and activating my dick system.


Without explanation, I went home while the group stayed there, but we plan on eating ice cream together sometime (the plan was for it to be later today, but surprisingly I had to go home).


She is great and cute. I hope things go well and not much embarrassing moments. It might be emotionally challenging to have a girlfriend in such an environment for all sorts of reasons, like laws, other people surrounding us, the fact that she is very social and talking with everyone, the gay friends that are always with her (she is always with this gay wingman of mine).


Man.. when I was on my way home I couldn't resist and just busted a nut at the public toilets nearby. A few hours later and I busted another nut. First time I manage to bust 2 normal nuts (good, regular, and not hurting). Perhaps all those moments very much triggered me sexually, and I've been having a boner many times today after, especially when thinking about her. Even now.


I hope it will go well. This is literally the best moment I've had so far. I feel kinda comfortable around her, she doesn't seem too embarrassed, I feel very confident in this environment (I don't think much about what other people think), and I am in good terms with most of the people here (kinda friendly and likeable).


But who knows what challenges might arise? I have been worrying of starting something with a girl at a beginning of some framework for fear of if it doesn't go well then it'll be embarrassing to see her all the time. But I haven't thought about it much in those nice moments.

The only things that might bother are the gay friends and that she is very social with everyone.


But who knows if stuff will change once we become closer...

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