Clarification on relationship between thoughts and emotions.

[Kevin]

So my understanding is that emotions are guidance to what your focused on. I’ve been pretty confused lately because that is not what I’ve been finding in my experience. I think there’s more to it. Lately I’ve been going through a rough patch emotionally but it feels like my emotional state is prior to the thoughts. I basically feel bad throughout the day and thoughts about me being worthless, a loser, a loner etc come up. But I think those thoughts are just me trying to make since of the negative feeling. Basically I’m trying to figure out why I feel bad and those thoughts come up as an explanation.

 

I notice on days where I feel great, positive thoughts come up easily and if I think thoughts about how I’m a loser they are easily dismissed.

 

I’m just very confused. How come sometimes it’s so effortless to be positive and other days it’s like a black cloud over my head?

 

I’ve also noticed that through thinking it can really seem like the circumstances are what cause my emotions. But that’s not true at all. I can have an objectively bad day where things go poorly and I’ll feel great. And then other days everything goes right and I feel awful. I think that’s the transference phil talks about. Where you blame circumstances, people, etc for how you feel.

 

going off that isn’t blaming thinking for how you feel also transference? Is there no reason for how I feel? It seems like if I can think thoughts about how I’m a loser one day and it doesn’t affect me and then I think the same thoughts the next day and I feel horrible then there has to be more to the picture.

 

Sorry if all of this is horribly organized I kept thinking of more questions.

[Phil]

13 hours ago, Kevin said:

So my understanding is that emotions are guidance to what your focused on. I’ve been pretty confused lately because that is not what I’ve been finding in my experience.

Not what you’re focused on… what thoughts you’re focusing on right now. 

Not a second ago - now. 

13 hours ago, Kevin said:

 

I think there’s more to it.

Which is… more thoughts…

13 hours ago, Kevin said:

Lately I’ve been going through

Who are you talking about? 

While that may sound harsh, it is the very relief sought. 

Is there the one talking, and also the one that is talked about? 

(Same for thoughts.) Is there awareness of thoughts… and is there the one the thoughts are about? 

13 hours ago, Kevin said:

a rough patch emotionally but it feels like my emotional state is prior to the thoughts.

What, most literally, is this “state”?

13 hours ago, Kevin said:

I basically feel bad

The thought that you feel bad doesn’t resonate, because you are Goodness. It’s thoughts exactly like that which are beliefs which aren’t true, which don’t resonate. This is the relief. Any ‘beating up on myself’ for the thoughts, beliefs, or anything is more of the same discord. 

13 hours ago, Kevin said:

throughout the day and thoughts about me being worthless, a loser, a loner etc come up.

And continue to when fed, just like a stray cat & milk. 

Bring the opposite thought to mind, and feel the alignment… notice via feeling, the absence of the discord. 

 

Bring the category of worthlessness to mind, and then apply different perspectives of appreciation to the category. At least three. No effort, simply be patient, wait, and allow the perspectives to arise. They will. 

13 hours ago, Kevin said:

 

But I think those thoughts are just me

If you’re the thoughts, what’s aware of thoughts? 

13 hours ago, Kevin said:

trying to make since of the negative feeling.

Judgement is discordant. (The thought / belief that feeling is negative is discordant.)

13 hours ago, Kevin said:

Basically I’m trying to figure out why I feel bad and those thoughts come up as an explanation.

Those are also discordant thoughts.  There’s no such thing as negative feeling or I feel bad. 

What’s missed is that these are thoughts believed. 

If it’s helpful, clarifying… this is denial. 

You’ve got to ‘take your hand off the stove’ / notice when focusing on these thoughts, there is discord / suffering… and when not focusing on these thoughts, there is alignment. 

13 hours ago, Kevin said:

 

I notice on days where I feel great, positive thoughts come up easily and if I think thoughts about how I’m a loser they are easily dismissed.

There’s only now.

Now… thoughts arise…about…  “a self in a past.”

And it seems a comparison is made… if the thought is believed. 

Yet neither ‘that self’ nor ‘that past’ can be found, because they’re thoughts. 

13 hours ago, Kevin said:

 

I’m just very confused. How come sometimes it’s so effortless to be positive and other days it’s like a black cloud over my head?

Believing thoughts (about a separate self in time), instead of feeling (ever-present now). 

Believe feeling. 

13 hours ago, Kevin said:

 

I’ve also noticed that through thinking it can really seem like the circumstances are what cause my emotions.

But that is a thought. 

13 hours ago, Kevin said:

But that’s not true at all. I can have an objectively bad day where things go poorly and I’ll feel great. And then other days everything goes right and I feel awful.

You do not feel awful. That’s a thought believed. 

Instead of ‘I feel awful’, which emotion is experienced? 

13 hours ago, Kevin said:

I think that’s the transference phil talks about. Where you blame circumstances, people, etc for how you feel.

Yes. 

13 hours ago, Kevin said:

 

going off that isn’t blaming thinking for how you feel also transference?

No. There is no such thing as thinking. That’s a thought,  believed. This is like blaming the stove while your hand melts.  Blame is an emotion, insightful guidance in regard to thoughts. 

13 hours ago, Kevin said:

Is there no reason for how I feel?

Awareness is directly aware of thought, perception, and sensation. 

That “I” is a thought believed. It isn’t “how I feel”, it’s how some thoughts feel. 

13 hours ago, Kevin said:

It seems like if I can think thoughts about how I’m a loser one day and it doesn’t affect me and then I think the same thoughts the next day and I feel horrible then there has to be more to the picture.

There is no thinker. There is no such thing as “thinking thoughts”. Believing thoughts like ‘I feel horrible’ obscure. You are not horrible. Far from it. The thought feels appropriately off, discordant, suffering. This is the evidence (feeling) that you are love. Is what’s wanted to figure out… or to feel great? 

 

Also look pragmatically for alignment… as one example… are you eating what you want to be eating? Perhaps thoughts by & large are a diversion from alignment…?

[Kevin]

7 hours ago, Phil said:

Not what you’re focused on… what thoughts you’re focusing on right now. 

Not a second ago - now. 

Which is… more thoughts…

Who are you talking about? 

While that may sound harsh, it is the very relief sought. 
 

that was relieving to read.

7 hours ago, Phil said:

Is there the one talking, and also the one that is talked about? 

(Same for thoughts.) Is there awareness of thoughts… and is there the one the thoughts are about? 

What, most literally, is this “state”?

The thought that you feel bad doesn’t resonate, because you are Goodness. It’s thoughts exactly like that which are beliefs which aren’t true, which don’t resonate. This is the relief. Any ‘beating up on myself’ for the thoughts, beliefs, or anything is more of the same discord. 

And continue to when fed, just like a stray cat & milk. 

Bring the opposite thought to mind, and feel the alignment… notice via feeling, the absence of the discord. 

 

7 hours ago, Phil said:

Bring the category of worthlessness to mind, and then apply different perspectives of appreciation to the category. At least three. No effort, simply be patient, wait, and allow the perspectives to arise. They will. 

If you’re the thoughts, what’s aware of thoughts? 

Judgement is discordant. (The thought / belief that feeling is negative is discordant.)

Those are also discordant thoughts.  There’s no such thing as negative feeling or I feel bad. 

What’s missed is that these are thoughts believed. 

If it’s helpful, clarifying… this is denial. 

You’ve got to ‘take your hand off the stove’ / notice when focusing on these thoughts, there is discord / suffering… and when not focusing on these thoughts, there is alignment. 

There’s only now.

I feel what your saying for sure. I don’t know why but yesterday I really did not want to take my hand off the stove.

 

7 hours ago, Phil said:

Now… thoughts arise…about…  “a self in a past.”

And it seems a comparison is made… if the thought is believed. 

Yet neither ‘that self’ nor ‘that past’ can be found, because they’re thoughts. 

Believing thoughts (about a separate self in time), instead of feeling (ever-present now). 

Believe feeling. 

But that is a thought. 

You do not feel awful. That’s a thought believed. 

Instead of ‘I feel awful’, which emotion is experienced? 

Yes. 

No. There is no such thing as thinking. That’s a thought,  believed. This is like blaming the stove while your hand melts.  Blame is an emotion, insightful guidance in regard to thoughts. 

Awareness is directly aware of thought, perception, and sensation. 

That “I” is a thought believed. It isn’t “how I feel”, it’s how some thoughts feel. 

There is no thinker. There is no such thing as “thinking thoughts”. Believing thoughts like ‘I feel horrible’ obscure. You are not horrible. Far from it. The thought feels appropriately off, discordant, suffering. This is the evidence (feeling) that you are love. Is what’s wanted to figure out… or to feel great? 

 

Definitely want to feel great. Sometimes I think that the key to feeling great is figuring it out or getting what I want. Realistically letting it go is probably the better option.

 

7 hours ago, Phil said:

Also look pragmatically for alignment… as one example… are you eating what you want to be eating? Perhaps thoughts by & large are a diversion from alignment…?

I’m mostly eating what I want to be eating for the most part. Sometimes I cheat and have ice cream or some other junk food but overall I’ve been eating good. I’ve noticed food is an escape for me so when I am really not liking how I’m feeling I usually eat some junk.

 

I appreciate your response. Definitely feeling better today.

[Phil]

15 hours ago, Kevin said:

that was relieving to read.

😅 Good to hear. Never know when it’s clarifying… vs too much, or overzealous helpfulness. 

15 hours ago, Kevin said:

I feel what your saying for sure. I don’t know why but yesterday I really did not want to take my hand off the stove.

‘Taking the hand off the stove’ is like removing attention from a thought… and there is ‘going’ directly to the sensation. The attention of awareness in this direct sense resolves, evaporates, heals, aligns. (The thought was aversion, from the sensation, and the Truth therein (the sensation) ) Unworthiness as an example can be found as a thought, but can not actually be found directly in sensation. 

15 hours ago, Kevin said:

Definitely want to feel great. Sometimes I think that the key to feeling great is figuring it out or getting what I want. Realistically letting it go is probably the better option.

Very relatable, did that a few thousand times as well. 😅  Something I missed, in hindsight… when we do shine the light of awareness directly on sensation… the ‘up & out’ occurs. So put as simply as possible… sometimes you might just feel like absolute shit with no discernible reason. It might be clarifying to consider, ‘this is the barfing part’. There might be some pain in the barfing, but the suffering is introduced or added, only via believing thoughts about, the barfing. 

15 hours ago, Kevin said:

Definitely feeling better today.

✊🏽

 

[Kevin]

4 hours ago, Phil said:

😅 Good to hear. Never know when it’s clarifying… vs too much, or overzealous helpfulness. 
 

very helpful. Not playing into my thought story is great help.👍

 

4 hours ago, Phil said:

‘Taking the hand off the stove’ is like removing attention from a thought… and there is ‘going’ directly to the sensation. The attention of awareness in this direct sense resolves, evaporates, heals, aligns. (The thought was aversion, from the sensation, and the Truth therein (the sensation) ) Unworthiness as an example can be found as a thought, but can not actually be found directly in sensation. 

Very relatable, did that a few thousand times as well. 😅  Something I missed, in hindsight… when we do shine the light of awareness directly on sensation… the ‘up & out’ occurs. So put as simply as possible… sometimes you might just feel like absolute shit with no discernible reason. It might be clarifying to consider, ‘this is the barfing part’. There might be some pain in the barfing, but the suffering is introduced or added, only via believing thoughts about, the barfing. 

✊🏽

 

I don’t know what changed but yesterday and today I’m really feeling the alignment and rapidly picking up momentum so thank you.👊