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The End of Pride, Self, Specialness


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It dawned on me during a quick meditation that a core hindrance is pride. It seems like it should be obvious, after all everyone talks about pride potentially being a trap, and many religions mention the dangers of pride. Yet it still slips through our radar and can persist for a while on the path. 


When thoughts arise of self (whether good or bad thoughts), thoughts will inevitably arise about other (whether good or bad).


When thoughts arise about other, thoughts will inevitably arise about self. 


It's quite mind boggling. The "True Self" is No-Self. 


What we desire truly and believe to be our "authentic self" will never actually be known or anything that can be thought about, it is pure expression and being in the moment, which is no-one / nothing whatsoever. Sound is just sound, taste is just taste, touch is just touch, etc. 


In essence, you will never become the person you wanna be, because the person you wanna be is actually the absence of a persona. 


This is the death of Jesus right here. 100% 


The resurrection is the realization of the ultimate reward which has never actually left.


I think the reward (the Kingdom of heaven) is the complete undoubtable realization that experience/reality/unreality/nothingness operates even more efficiently without any identity structure arising at all.


No more thoughts about Orb, no more thoughts about other.


In fact, whats truly been wanted all along is for identity to no longer arise, yet the identity (aversion) is simultaneously afraid of no longer arising. What a bind. 


Pride is indeed discordant, It's the root of cult leaders, people who awaken and become teachers and abuse others and cause so much trouble, more harm than good imo. 

"Mediocrity is gone. Mind is clear of limitation. I seek no state of enlightenment. Neither do I remain where no enlightenment exists. Since I linger in neither condition, eyes cannot see me. If hundreds of birds strew my path with flowers, such praise would be meaningless."

A Comment on the 8th Ox Herding Picture

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My favorite part of Disneyworld was when the Carousel of Progress got stuck, repeated the same scene several times, stopped progressing and everyone lost their shit and we never made it to the end of the progression. I didn't go into the Carousel of Progress to have a good time, I went in because it's notoriously outdated, creepy and delightfully awful. Exceeded expectations. 




Pride is just inviting all the irony in the world. Like the color red appears red so it says "I am red" but really, it's absorbing all color wavelengths except red, which are rejected and bouncing off it, making it appear red. Doesn't mean you're not awesome though. 

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