Kevin Posted July 5 Author Share Posted July 5 1 hour ago, Phil said: @Kevin It was just that one part… It leans toward a sep self referential thought loop, with the other ‘end’ of the loop being… ‘and now I feel worse’. And just like that, there seems to be a sep self, in time, and how “it feels”. While in truth feeling is infinite, appearing as the whole show. Thoughts, cars, planes, air, etc - all feeling. All (actually) Self (feeling). that’s exactly right honestly. Because today it seems like I’m feeling a lot worse 1 hour ago, Phil said: Feeling is just unfettered or un-obscured of discordant thoughts (suffering)… and that’s it. It’s more than ample, and it’s only presently. I thought that to unfetter I need to allow what I’m feeling. However I’m concerned that I’m ruminating and that if I just allow what I’m feeling it will never get better. I’m worried that I’m doing it wrong sometimes. Because undoubtedly I experience less of certain kinds of suffering. But today I’m not feeling good at all. I want some relief and I want to feel better but idk. I’m lost 1 hour ago, Phil said: There’s no sep self which feels better. Nor which felt this or that way in a past or might feel this or that way in a future. So there is no actual comparison between “how I feel now”, and “how I felt then” or “how I will or might feel when”. The wild ‘thing’ is the situation literally could not be more simple. ♥️ Yeah I guess I could just stop suffering. Idk how though. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted July 5 Share Posted July 5 @Kevin In your direct experience, there is not found someone who’s worried, yes? You, are feeling, experiencing, the emotion worry, yeah? Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted July 5 Share Posted July 5 So that’s the resistance, right? You’re feeling worry, and the resistance added is you’re essentially saying you’re not - that there is someone which is worried. That is the not-acknowleding worry is felt, right? Make sense? And it’s because what’s really goin on is some doubt, yes? Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted July 5 Author Share Posted July 5 12 minutes ago, Phil said: @Kevin In your direct experience, there is not found someone who’s worried, yes? You, are feeling, experiencing, the emotion worry, yeah? Yes worry, despair and guilt. 11 minutes ago, Phil said: So that’s the resistance, right? Yes when I think thoughts about how I am loser and I’ll never amount to anything and I’m worthless, I guess I’m haven’t been acknowledging the emotion. Instead I guess it just seemed like the sadness and despair experienced were because that story about a me was true. So maybe I’ve been ruminating. 11 minutes ago, Phil said: You’re feeling worry, and the resistance added is you’re essentially saying you’re not - that there is someone which is worried. That is the not-acknowleding worry is felt, right? Make sense? Yeah that is what’s been going on I guess. 11 minutes ago, Phil said: And it’s because what’s really goin on is some doubt, yes? Yes there’s doubt that I can experience what I want to experience and there is doubt that things will get better. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted July 5 Share Posted July 5 @Kevin As in, if you don’t experience what you want, disappointment might be felt? Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted July 5 Author Share Posted July 5 12 minutes ago, Phil said: @Kevin As in, if you don’t experience what you want, disappointment might be felt? Yes I’d experience disappoint. Also insecurity if I focus on thoughts about how it’s my fault or there’s something wrong with me and that’s why I didn’t experience what I wanted. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted July 5 Share Posted July 5 @Kevin Complete overwhelment right? Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted July 5 Author Share Posted July 5 35 minutes ago, Phil said: @Kevin Complete overwhelment right? Yup for sure overwhelment Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted July 5 Share Posted July 5 @Kevin Strong sense of urgency? As if behind time & comparison wise? Frustration, impatience, irritation? Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted July 6 Author Share Posted July 6 1 hour ago, Phil said: @Kevin Strong sense of urgency? As if behind time & comparison wise? Frustration, impatience, irritation? Yes much urgency. I think I’m behind. I think everyone else has it figured out. I think everyone I know has a thriving social life and many people I know who are my age and younger are in serious relationships so I think I’m behind. And that worries me. I guess without the worry I would be frustrated and impatient. Now I’ve been focusing a lot on how things aren’t going right so now I’m worried things will keep going like this. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 @Kevin Pessimism’s felt though right? Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted July 6 Author Share Posted July 6 13 hours ago, Phil said: @Kevin Pessimism’s felt though right? Yes pessimism is felt Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 @Kevin What about contentment? Presently-only. Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted July 6 Author Share Posted July 6 3 hours ago, Phil said: @Kevin What about contentment? Presently-only. Yes I guess I could feel contentment Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 @Kevin That’s got a half true ring to it. 🙂 What arises, such that the true peace of your being, to which contentment points, is not fully pronounced, basked in? Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted July 6 Author Share Posted July 6 6 minutes ago, Phil said: @Kevin That’s got a half true ring to it. 🙂 What arises, such that the true peace of your being, to which contentment points, is not fully pronounced, basked in? I feel tension. I feel a knot in my belly. I feel like something is not quite right. I’m trying to be present with how I feel. It its not super comfortable and. I would prefer to feel confident. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted July 7 Share Posted July 7 @Kevin Confident how so? For what scenario? Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted July 7 Author Share Posted July 7 2 hours ago, Phil said: @Kevin Confident how so? For what scenario? I guess I think you need to be confident to meet girls and make friends. I guess I never noticed that the only reason I think I need confidence is because things seem scary. So maybe unacknowledged fear is present. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted July 7 Share Posted July 7 @Kevin What seems scary? What’s in the interpretation, by which fear is felt? Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted July 7 Author Share Posted July 7 9 hours ago, Phil said: @Kevin What seems scary? What’s in the interpretation, by which fear is felt? I think people won’t like me. Socializing seems high pressure because I want people to like me and I believe I need to know what to do. I think I need to know. How to socialize. Often I don’t know how so I feel fear around that. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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