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How to Stop getting affected by others' Behaviors & reactions?


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Can I stop being so reactive? Trying to moralfy the dream. My advice would be to rest as Awareness and let what ever happens happen but maintain Mindfulness. Just be the Watcher and keep a detachment to what is being watched, including your own mind, body, and emotions. Just watch it all and be the Watcher. Ask yourself, who am I in all this? Trying to become a more moral person -- put this into question.  People are tyrannized by morals and karma and so on, and I'm not sure we're helping people by feeding into this or encouraging this. Just change your identity from the little you to the Big You. People that are hard stuck on morals or karma, that's their underlying problem.

Edited by Joseph Maynor

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2 minutes ago, Mandy said:

@Isagi Yoichi Around friends is there any doubt that they already appreciate you? 

No

 

I think it's more like I hate interacting with old people and people who are older than me I don't feel comfortable around them they are too judgmental I also extremely hate it when someone hints to something subtly like a bitch instead of being more open and straightforward in their communication it's more like what the fuck do u want? 

 

that doesn't apply to everyone ofc , this can be very apparent when interacting with children they don't have all those beliefs and presumptions and all the shit that have been conditioned by 

:IMG_0991:

 

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2 minutes ago, Isagi Yoichi said:

I think it's more like I hate interacting with old people and people who are older than me I don't feel comfortable around them they are too judgmental I also extremely hate it when someone hints to something subtly like a bitch instead of being more open and straightforward in their communication it's more like what the fuck do u want? 

 

This leaves bad memories in me and I keep thinking about the shit 

 

Why the fuck I am that sensitive? or is it just my mind and projections I don't think its bec I can clearly see people's faces and gestures so it may be my mind but I don't think it is.

:IMG_0991:

 

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14 minutes ago, Isagi Yoichi said:

Yeah that's on my mind but it's difficult for me I feel like I don't want to interact with anyone anymore to avoid all the shit and drama


I get that.  But realize the you that is reacting is not really You.  You're the Pure Consciousness watching the movie (Maya).  And the movie doesn't need You to be you in the movie.  You're the Awareness that is constant and always at Peace no matter what drama is occurring in the dream, even where you're reacting as a character in scenes in the ongoing movie.  

Edited by Joseph Maynor

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9 minutes ago, Isagi Yoichi said:

No

 

I think it's more like I hate interacting with old people and people who are older than me I don't feel comfortable around them they are too judgmental I also extremely hate it when someone hints to something subtly like a bitch instead of being more open and straightforward in their communication it's more like what the fuck do u want? 

 

that doesn't apply to everyone ofc , this can be very apparent when interacting with children they don't have all those beliefs and presumptions and all the shit that have been conditioned by 

No one ever fully grows up though. Age doesn't give you any extra importance. 

 

Do you see how the judgement of older and old people is a stand off? See how judgement comes straight right back at ya like a boomerang? Wouldn't it be a shame if shame was a misunderstanding? 

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8 minutes ago, Mandy said:

No one ever fully grows up though. Age doesn't give you any extra importance. 

 

Do you see how the judgement of older and old people is a stand off? See how judgement comes straight right back at ya like a boomerang? Wouldn't it be a shame if shame was a misunderstanding? 

 

 

I said it doesn't apply to everyone why do u think it's a judgment?

 

 

I clarified it I just observe people and see their reactions idk what shame you are talking about.

 

 

 

:IMG_0991:

 

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@Isagi Yoichi A judgement is an opinion or conclusion, it's the same as a belief in that it's knowing. 

 

1 hour ago, Isagi Yoichi said:

I clarified it I just observe people and see their reactions idk what shame you are talking about.

If I make mushrooms and offer them to somebody who detests mushrooms, I'm not going to feel shame about my cooking. They are already decided. It's no reflection on me. 

 

You are already decided about old/older people. Perhaps they are already decided about young/younger people?

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24 minutes ago, Mandy said:

You are already decided about old/older people. Perhaps they are already decided about young/younger people?

No i am not lol, i said old people bec children dont do this shit.

 

Maybe i am overgeneralizing but my point is clear idk why u choose to stick to your point about judgment while my question was about something else its not about the old people.

 

 

:IMG_0991:

 

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Posted (edited)
1 minute ago, Mandy said:

"this shit" ? 

Yeah i perceive it as shit bec its shit lol when someone look at u with an arrogant or disgust look that what i mean by shit 

 

 

And u cant do something about it bec we were taught not to confront people who are older u cant treat them as with someone your age or younger i hope u get my point lol after all of this explanations

Edited by Isagi Yoichi

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4 minutes ago, Isagi Yoichi said:

And u cant do something about it bec we were taught not to confront people who are older u cant treat them as with someone your age or younger i hope u get my point lol after all of this explanations

What do you mean by confront? Is there a way to communicate what you want without confrontation? 

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5 hours ago, Isagi Yoichi said:

How to Stop getting affected by others' Behaviors & reactions?

There’s no true / honest answer for that because of the presumption in the question.

While it can certainly seem like that is the case, it’s limiting beliefs which are felt.

You actually remain unaffected in any and all situations and circumstances. 

 

Bear in mind all justifications & rationalizations revolve around the elusive ego / sep self of thoughts, and sound like “but for me…”. 

That could be age, birth place, gender, sexual orientation, skin color, height, facial or bodily features, any or all relationships, etc, etc, etc. 

It’s brought to rest meditatively because there’s literally no end to it, which is why it’s referred to historically as the devil. It’s all circular logic. A smokescreen. 

 

‘Go to’ perception & feeling.

Bring thought to rest. 

 

 

Being aware really is ample.

Inspect and scrutinize direct experience as to what comes and goes and therein isn’t you, and what doesn’t come & go (you). To the extent and depth you’ve self inspected and seen through what isn’t you, you see through others as well. When you reach the bottom of yourself, there aren’t any limiting beliefs left which are triggered, and reactionary behaviors fizzle and just aren’t a thing anymore. 

 

You truly are the creator of your reality. What’s playing out in perception has already been filtered through any limiting beliefs. Dispel the limiting beliefs and perception does in fact change accordingly. 

 

“Be the change you wish to see”. (And you’ll actually see it)

MG

 

5 hours ago, Isagi Yoichi said:

How do you stop caring about what others think of u ?

Caring or not caring is dualistic & therefore thought based.

 

Emotions, empathy and compassion are feeling based. Be self-honest in that what’s wanted isn’t going to be found in thoughts, it’s feeling as yourself in any and all situations & circumstances which is truly what’s wanted. Also consider, caring or not caring, limiting beliefs are still triggered. 

 

Meditation, mindfulness & acknowledging emotions is really the key. Receiving the guidance is allowing interpretations to change.

 

Emotions and behaviors are like two sides of a coin. You’re experiencing one side or the other. Emotions which are acknowledged and felt dispel limiting beliefs and the reactionary behavior doesn’t happen anymore. Emotions which are suppressed perpetuates limiting beliefs which play out reactively as behaviors. 

 

5 hours ago, Isagi Yoichi said:

I tend to be sensitive to people's reactions and body language & talk a lot 

Being is inherently, naturally sensitive to thoughts, beliefs and interpretations. That is what’s felt. Not the thoughts, beliefs & interpretations of others. Other is thoughts, belief & an interpretation which is also felt, and which there is emotional guidance for aligning. 

 

Give the meditations a once over to be proactive with self-love.

Especially the mindfulness & equanimity sections. Go with whatever resonates. 

 

For what it’s worth, that you’re inspecting this and questioning this is highly commendable. 

 

“Your own self-realization is the greatest service you can render the world”.

RM

 

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