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You become a prisoner of your own achievements


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As an actuary, even though I am miserable at my job most of the time, making a step towards changing a career is very challenging for me. I’ve put many hours of studying for my profession, actuarial exams alone took me 7 years.. 7 years of studying after work, studying on weekends, not having any kind of life for months.. stressing over it.. I feel I’ve put in so much energy into this..


I also feel like I don’t have any energy pulling off something like this again to change my career.. I am basically stuck while also fully squeezed out of energy..


It’s like having a big boat that is super difficult to steer in a different direction vs. a small boat happily jumping on waves and going wherever the hell it wants  

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You know what they say, it's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean. 


I think if your job doesn't thrill you then you're in a great position to have hobbies that do. That's where the energy comes from. Then you aren't demanding to be compensated for what you love. 

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Other interpretations…


"Prisoner of your own achievements" suggests feeling trapped by past success which isn’t actually experienced, while in truth the interpretation presently is and feels discordant. The interpretation feels discordant with that which is appearing as reality and can effortlessly appear any other way just the same. 


"Changing a career is very challenging" implies fear of change. The fear could be considered as guidance, in that the thought does not resonate with what is, because what is can appear as what’s wanted. Doubt is guidance as well. It is precisely the nature of what is to appear as what’s wanted. 


"Put in so much energy" obscures the reality of Self, via the hijacking of energy on behalf of a nonexistent separate self. That ‘energy’, that which is being, can be anything, anyone. Limitation & assertion are beliefs, and feel off therein. 


"Stuck and squeezed out of energy" is suffering, a self referential belief loop. As if that which is unconditional were actually asserting upon or against someone. The entirety, the whole of experience, reality, is energy (and not even). 

Is it really actually believed someone’s breathing air right now? 


Misery and stress indicate and are the momentum of misalignment with true desires. Alignment is that of thoughts & interpretations with feeling. Ego is the ignorance of the true nature and limitlessness of what is, and is the ignoring of the guidance felt, in favor of the ‘me story’.  But again, it’s not actually favored as it’s suffering. 


Alignment happens only in reality (in the present). 


This situation is an appearance within consciousness, not a fixed reality. There is no reality of consistency, there is only an appearance of (a thought or belief in) consistency, indicative of the core belief thought defines or knows about perception. 


Circumstances can change unexpectedly, such as with a phone call or a chance encounter.

Everything can shift in an instant, transforming perceived limitations and opening new possibilities.


The self referential story is the ‘pinching yourself of’ so to speak, from the allowing & receiving of everything, anything and anyone you are wanting. 


Alternatively, meditation, emotional guidance and receiving what you actually want. Luck, random, chance, odds, etc - all beliefs. 

What is - the guidance - felt. 

Is not belief.



Achievements are great. Misidentification & thought attachment are suffering. 

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