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A good cry


Indisguise
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Do you sometimes feel the need to just cry? (rhetoric question, of course, we all do)

To just let out - whatever it is exactly that needs to be let out?

I never learned how to have a healthy relationship to my emotions. And it's not even that I regularly feel on the verge of crying, because it's burried so deeply  within me that I don't even have this urge - except sometimes, when something or someone, or beauty, or Love, gets me to the verge of crying. Then I notice that I crave this emotional relief, but I never learned how to do it properly. Nad so I never fully get there, just scraping the surface.

I don't even want any sophisticated solution to specifially adress any psychological issues or anything, I'm like a rugged, unsophisticated emotional blob that simply needs relief.

Over the last maybe 3 years I've been trying to get more in touch with my emotions and allowing them, but it's still hard for me. 

Advice? Really, I'm just asking for crude techniques like watching sad YouTube videos or whatever😂 anything will be appreciated🙏🏼❤️

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19 minutes ago, Indisguise said:

I never learned how to have a healthy relationship to my emotions. And it's not even that I regularly feel on the verge of crying, because it's burried so deeply  within me that I don't even have this urge - except sometimes, when something or someone, or beauty, or Love, gets me to the verge of crying. Then I notice that I crave this emotional relief, but I never learned how to do it properly.

 

I can understand what you are feeling, I wasn't really given much guidance when it came to dealing with emotions growing up (I'm sure this is usually the case for most people), so I had to start teaching myself. 

 

There was this point I remember as a kid where I started to repress the sadness & crying, felt frustrated with myself at the time for being sad so often. It's funny how tangled up emotions can get with each other when they aren't properly listened to. 

 

I feel the best releases come when that is not what you are planning on doing at all. Feeling it all move around, listening to a song, washing dishes, going for a walk, and something just touches you in some way 😭 

 

Be with the feelings and they release themselves. Presence. 

🤍🧠👀

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4 hours ago, Indisguise said:

Advice? Really, I'm just asking for crude techniques like watching sad YouTube videos or whatever😂 anything will be appreciated🙏🏼❤️

Ugh, I hate crying. I really do. Maybe because I'm just not a crier. I'm not one of those women that cries at the drop of a hat. However, things I will cry for are severe, extreme frustration 😫 (like from a job) and extreme sadness 😭 (when leaving my adult son who lives out of state).

 

I have a fairly analytical brain so it has to pierce through my logic. When I can no longer make sense of it or there's too much loss, then the flood gates can erupt. 

 

I recall two older movies that no matter how many times I've seen them both I cry every damn time. 

 

Beaches, with Bette Milder

Terms of Endearment, Shirley McCain and Debra Winger.

 

I think both can be streamed for a couple bucks on YouTube. I just watched Terms of Endearment again on Hulu a few weeks ago. Yep, freaking cried again. 😂

 

 

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I think the key is in stopping thinking and believing thoughts that judge, explain, rationalize, credit, blame, etc. Time in nature, walks, running, quiet drives, journaling, music can all help to allow that. Or any kind of undemanding flow state stuff, time alone. I find that appreciation is huge. There was a lot of time in nature and catching myself caught in some thoughts that weren't aligned with where I was and then coming back to the present and really SEEING the beauty I was in. That letting go or coming home almost always results in tears or laughter or great relief or all of those. 

The other thing I'd mention is that emotional people often judge themselves for being too emotional and more logical people judge themselves for being too logical. But both are thoughts and both are thoughts about an identity or some continuous entity that in the NOW is just a fleeting thought. You are always feeling already, you can't turn it off. Seems that you can believe thoughts though. But you are always home, only seems as if you left. 

 Youtube Channel    Website

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One can’t learn to let go. 

But one can inspect intellectualization, which was learned, and realize the intellect is an illusion. 

For the intellectual there is love, beauty, and emotional relief, coming & going. 

For love-beauty, intellectual is just a thought, coming & going. 

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