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Masculine energy


Reena

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Maybe I can be around more men. Majority of my life I have only been around women. I grew up around females. And my father was the only male in the entire family and he died. After that I never had anyone except my ex boyfriends. I have a total of 5 exes. 1st - very masculine. 2nd - a bit feminine. 3rd - both masculine and Feminine. 4th - very feminine. 5th - very masculine. 

I have realized that being around feminine men is nice but doesn't satisfy sexually/romantically. I never feel like wanting to sleep with them. 

The boy energy and man energy are different. The boy energy is mostly insecure, trying desperately to prove himself, says illogical things, gets overly angry over little things, cannot fix problems, builds castles in the air, doesn't know how to direct, gets horny but at the wrong time, gets impulsive, acts like a child, sees a woman as a motherly figure, can easily fight with his girlfriend, spends his energy arguing the small things, does not put the effort to understand the feminine, can take her for granted. 

 

 

The man energy is somewhat secure, grounded, thinks logically, has the ability to direct, is sure of himself, can fix problems, looks for more practical things and solutions rather than building castles in the air, doesn't get furious easily, gets horny when the time is right, doesn't get impulsive, doesn't act like a child, sees the woman as a daughterly figure, tries to argue logically and wins the fight, thinks about the feminine and makes a note of her issues, has the maturity to lead her. Doesn't take her for granted. Knows what she wants in the moment. 

So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. 

My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. 

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In a moment everything disappears. Everything turns to beauty and silence. Everything is beauty and silence like the bottom of the ocean. Like sex. Like wild flowers. Oh, I wish human life could be like that. 

So basically I'm an autistic INFJ BPD sigma Pisces female with anger and CPTSD issues. Wow wow. 

My plate looks full. I Couldn't have been weirder than that. Now I get why I'm so idiosyncratic. 

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