Reena

[Reena]

My feelings. 

[Reena]

I feel sorry and sad for people who genuinely suffer in this world. 

Men who work hard in the furnace or on a ship, or breaking timber. Men who feed their families after a long day of work like my father used to. Men who don't feel entitled to the world's resources. 

Men who carry a baby over their shoulders and clean their diapers. 

Men who don't feel the need to assert their manhood all the time. 

Men who don't constantly whine about their suffering and only care about their own emotions. Men who are truly lonely and suffer mental health problems and rely on drugs to get by in life. The forgotten heroes who suffer in silence. Men who are grateful if a woman is talking to them instead of leeching off her. Men who protect their sisters. Men who speak less and mean more. 

 

If I had a son, I would teach him to respect women. That's the first thing I would teach. 

 

I would teach him to be a man. A man who gives something to this world rather than asking and exploiting. A man who never uses women for sex. 

 

A man who is genuinely suffering and in pain and knows what suffering feels like. A man who becomes a beacon of hope and not some average asshole. 

 

I feel sorry and bad for men who never get recognition. Who are humble enough to admit their mistakes. Who are deeply and truly vulnerable. Who drink not for fun, but in pain. Who need help, love and company. Who are gentle and compassionate and who have manners around women. Who are glad when someone listens to them. Who don't burden others with their problems or feel the need to manipulate others for their needs. Who live in dignity and save their money. 

 

Who don't pride in their manhood simply because they are a man, but use their manhood to help women, children and other vulnerable people. 

 

Who truly suffer and 

Not the ones who try to seek attention, who are loud and bashful, and constantly crying out of self importance and entitlement, who want someone to cater to their needs all the time, who never take accountability, who assume they are the only ones who suffer and have no regard or concern for other's time, emotions, health or suffering at all. 

 

Who live in solitude and keep their word, who genuinely care about others and not fictitious pretentious white knighting men who want to help for their own ego. Who are ready to empathize with a woman rather than belittle her or constantly argue her thought. 

 

Men who don't care about being attractive to women but know that there are bigger things to achieve in life than be a popular jock. 

 

Men who don't like to trouble others with their sorrow, who have the humility to understand that others suffer as well. Who know not to add more stress to other's  burden. Who don't expect the entire world to babysit them. Who have order, structure and displine in their lives. Who don't use a woman only for their needs and discard her once they are done with them. Who are not "me me me me me" all the time. Who have the capacity to understand other's situations and problems and the maturity to do what's right. 

 

Men who don't feel butthurt when their pride is hurt or challenged. Men who reflect on themselves when a woman walks away rather than making her the bad person. Men who aren't too concerned with their appearance and who aren't trying to be the big jock. Who aren't throwing their masculinity into everyone's faces or bragging about how many women they slept with. 

 

Men who know their own responsibilities and don't need a woman's approval to feel like a man. Men who aren't guilting and shaming others who don't meet their expectations. Men who aren't just sitting and eating and getting fat. And place all the burden on their mothers. 

 

Men who understand misery and only want to be of help and provide love and protection and be there when others need them. Men who take pride in being of service to others. 

 

Men who don't act like mama's little boy and always running to someone to bitch about something without looking for an objective way of solving a problem. Men who don't want to bring drama and misery to your life but value, compassion and peace. 

 

And also men who are honest, truthful and sincere, don't weaponize truth to hurt others, don't moralize others with their deluded brains, have the emotional intelligence to go beyond logic, don't judge and prey on other's weaknesses to trumpet their own highness, men who know when and how to speak the truth and genuinely want everyone to be in love and peace. 

 

[Reena]

I exist in my own world now pretty much. 

I have dislocated myself. 

I want to remain in my shell. I never want to know what's good. 

 

[Reena]

I'm hurt but whatever. 

[Reena]

Love begins with trust and ends with happiness. 

[Reena]

I want a man who will hold my hand and walk with me and understand what's going on in my mind. Who is deeply connected with me. 

[Reena]

I feel a bit emotionally stressed. 

 

[Reena]

Reena, focus on the positive. I know you feel ruined inside. 

I know you don't want things. 

[Reena]

When you aren't wrong, you shouldn't feel divisive. 

[Reena]

Just.....

Stress 

Stress

Stress 

 

 

[Reena]

Maybe a change of environment will be just disappearing and coming back. 

 

[Reena]

I'm physically ill. 

I have a respiratory infection now. 

 

[Reena]

Finally Freedom Day September 9th. 2023 

 

[Reena]

https://imgflip.com/gif/817v5f

[Reena]

I've been a bit stressed. 

I have been sleeping well

 

 

[Reena]

Yesterday was a good day. 

 

[Reena]

What am I supposed to do? 

[Phil]

When feeling is pluralized as feelings, my feelings, his or her feelings… so too is the self, and therein it seems there is the suffering of others.

A self-recognition I would offer is that feeling is not plural, and is more along the lines of the ‘raw clay’ emotions are made of.

 

An initial recognition therein might be - my emotions. This typically precedes the recognition of emotions experienced, which differs from my emotions. There is more breathing room. 

 

Suffering is always a table for one, and there is nothing you’re supposed to do. It is enough to remain open as awareness, as presence, and observe thoughts & emotions, and the patterns therein.

[Reena]

My mom boarded her flight for US. She will land there in 16 hours. 

Right now she is at Dubai airport. She sent me these pictures. 

I'm already feeling lonely. Now I'm all alone without her. 

She is visiting my family in Houston. 

 

That's my mom. 

 

Edited October 13, 2023 by Reena

[Reena]

@Phil I'll reply to you shortly.