Feeling Too Excited Around Women

[Orb]

I used to think I was nervous around women, I find actually it's the opposite, I feel too horny/excited around them.

[Orb]

Like today I was and chatting with a girl and she's cute and I think she's a little into me too, and we started talking at the end of our shift and I felt really excited to the point where my throat started closing up and I could barely think. 

 

I wanted to ask for her number but didn't want to seem like a creep.

 

When I'm horny around a girl it feels wrong, I feel like a weirdo. 

[Mandy]

"I'm too  ______ is self concept. Is this a limitation you want? It's only in the moment you can be chill, only in the moment you can take a breath, relax, appreciate the moment for what it is. You'll never become a chill person, cause that's conception and you can't be conceived. 

[Phil]

Worrying about what she thinks (that you’re a creep), sounds like fear of rejection. Fear of the unknown (what she thinks). It’s putting the cart before the horse.

 

First ask for her number, then hear what she actually says, then access if she thought you were a creep, then consider modifying the approach as to what came off as creepy. This is ‘getting out of your own way’. 

 

Women are attracted to confidence. Don’t try to solve the creep weirdo interpretation, drop it. It’s a bit like you’re looking to getting a date with her so you can feel better about discordant self ref beliefs. They’re not solved, they’re discarded because they don’t resonate. The beliefs feel off because they’re not true, not because they are (and are in need of being solved). 

 

Horny / excited feels great. Attachment to outcome is suffering. Projection shines the light on the beliefs. 

[Orb]

@Mandy @Phil Thanks for those suggestions, Im putting them into practice kinda.

[Loop]

On 8/30/2023 at 9:41 PM, Orb said:

 

I used to think I was nervous around women, I find actually it's the opposite, I feel too horny/excited around them.

 

Sometimes pain is actually disallowed pleasure.

Sometimes fear is actually excitement. 
 

It is awesome when an insight like that arises, feels good. 
Then it is also recognized there is/ was a thought saying:

“I can’t allow myself to be excited/ horny”

Which was the mechanism hiding the fact that you are actually loving it, living the dream. ☺️
 

[Orb]

Nevermind, I definitely get nervous/weird around women im attracted to. I can say like one or two quick things to them but if I get into a 1 on 1 conversation I will start tearing up and my face turns red. 

 

The nervousness gets so intense it feels like there's impending doom, something bad gonna happen. 

[Loop]

3 hours ago, Orb said:

The nervousness gets so intense it feels like there's impending doom, something bad gonna happen. 

🥶 Sometimes it takes time to ‘break the ice’. 

 

[Orb]

8 minutes ago, Loop said:

🥶 Sometimes it takes time to ‘break the ice’. 

 

Yea true, I want to feel more confident around them in general

[Loop]

9 hours ago, Orb said:

Yea true, I want to feel more confident around them in general

Confidence is dancing with the fear anyways.

 

Improvising on an instrument only get more harmonious the more you play. 
The voice is the instrument of communion.