Picking Fruit 🍎

[Loop]

Having a deep understanding of if your system represses vulnerability, or assertiveness more is very important for being able to stabilize in Teal. Otherwise you will keep cycling by avoiding the one that is the hardest for you, but really, we need to be expressing that one more. 
 

“I can express hurt with them”

 

”I can express anger with them.”

 

Sit with these for a good about of time, it can take days or months to really stabilize in realizing which one your system represses more. Of course most of us will need work with both, but what you will find is when triggered the system likes to go to the easier one. 
 

“Im not hurt, im angry!”

 

”Im not angry, im hurt”

 

[Loop]

It is always more complex then you are just triggered, 

Allow systems thinking, regulate the nervous system. 

 

⚙️🔧

 

[Loop]

Take a look in the mirror, honestly. 
Notice if there is resistance to, notice the emotions in that face.

 

Is non-duality really working for you?

All this seeking for a way out?

 

This thread is for You.

 

🪞

 

[Loop]

Typically anger/ assertiveness repressers will be addicted to calming types of meditations,

& Hurt/ vulnerability repressers will be addicted to intense more dynamic types of mediation, like Tai-Chi.

One likes to run to Calmness, the other like to shadow box the ego. 

Nothing wrong with the activity, just notice the compulsion to go to it to avoid feeling what is actually there. Notice, it isn’t just pain, it isn’t just energy, break it down more.

It fizzes out into unveiling Wholeness. 
 

The anger repressers trying to calm down the anger, just fucking express it. 
The hurt repressers  trying to fight with the hurt, cry your eyes out, express it. 
 

We all typically have both dynamics of repression, but one is going to be more powerful then the other, & a lot of healing can be uncovered from going to the one you don’t want to. 

 

[Loop]

Simple passive practice for repression integration:

 

Just match what is felt with the breath.

Don’t just breathe,

Don’t just notice,

Match what is noticed/ felt with the breathing.

 

Especially if there is high tension & a body part or a few are contracting,

Frozen fear can be melt through this way. 
Before hurt or anger, we must go to fear usually. 

Take back the power from the frozenness,

Melt through so the Gaze can be felt.

We might have a preference for trauma response, either to fight or to run, but everyone has the trauma response of frozenness. It is rooted in early childhood when you were at the total mercy of your parents, you had no choice as a baby but to freeze if there was an issue.

Freeze also doesn’t just look like this 🥶😳

It can show up in many different ways. 😢😡

It is very complex, don’t give up! 
Allow systems thinking to come online,

Notice the giving up is the frozenness. 
 

Breathe as Feeling. 

Join & let go. 
Dance, flow. 

These are self-referential body-mind connections we are wrestling with here, so it isn’t just intellectual stuff, the body is going to move around, not because it is physical, but that the Wholeness/ Unity is being unveiled.
 

😮‍💨 

🫁
🌎

 

[Loop]

Frozen fear is repression,

Fawning is suppression, 

Fight or Flight is expression.
 

It is all the same energy really, but looking at it this way can be insightful. 
The thing about the term energy, or feeling, or pain, etc is they are abstract terms that can be used by the repression mechanism to hide what is not wanted to be felt, just staying in the “Birds Eye View” and not actually getting your hands dirty in the mud of repression & trauma. 
 

You really are the lotus flower in the mud.

 

🪷