Picking Fruit 🍎

[Loop]

[Loop]

“It is too much.”

🔄

”It is not enough.”

 

Impermanent is this wheel,

Unsatisfactory.

There isn’t a one who desires,

Allow each side a turn to express.
 

[Loop]

Here are some contexts/ inquiries that are really ripe for uncovering energy:
 

”I can do my art.” “I can (Whatever you really want to be doing)”

Go into whatever comes up saying “I can’t”

 

”My parents gave me all the love I needed” 

Go into whatever comes up saying “They didn’t”

“I can express (anger, fear, hurt, sadness, guilt, etc)” 

Pick one, go into whatever comes up saying “I can’t express _______”

 

 

What we are doing is deconstructing/ investigating the compulsion which swings between, “This is not enough.” & “This is too much”. 
The unsatisfactoriness.  
 

“I need to (smoke, masturbate, check my phone, prove myself, figure this thing out, etc)”

Different compulsion drives.

”I can (Compulsion Drive) all I want.”  
“I don’t need (Compulsion Drive).”

 

Deconstruct the addiction, & the addiction to being sober. 
Let go of both the idea of being attached, & the idea of being unattached. 
 

Allow the settling of the thought-water, 

The sphere of the lens is side by side with the world sphere. 
 

Don’t get tied down by any idea,

Ride all the way Home.

 

 

"The ancient buddhas taught the Dharma,

Not for it's own sake but to assist us,

If we really knew ourselves,

We would not have to rely on old teachers,

The wise go right to the core,

And leap beyond appearances;

The foolish cleave to details,

And get ensnared by words and letters. 

Such people envy the accomplishments of others, 

And work feverishly to attain the same things.

Cling to truth and it becomes falsehood;

Understand falsehood and it becomes truth.

Truth and falsehood are two sides of a coin:

Neither accept nor reject either one.

Don't waste your precious time fruitlessly 

Trying to gauge the depth of life's ups and downs."

- Ryokan

 

“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.”

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” 

- Jung

 

[Loop]

The point of context is for your practice, it isn’t to believe me.

 

“…Cling to truth & it becomes falsehood,

Understand falsehood & it becomes truth…”

 

[Loop]

Work with both the repression/ suppression of assertiveness & vulnerability. 
If you find one of them easier and one of them hard, you might find the one that is harder to work with contains the most held back energy, & you like to go to the other one to hide from it.

This might help with context around aversion.

 

[Loop]

The trauma isn’t what happen, just what we held inside.
As we express the story of what happened we can uncover self-referential mind-body connections, what was held inside, such as:

“I cannot be afraid” 

“I cannot be angry”

”I cannot be guilty”

“I cannot be sad”

 

“I cannot be vulnerable”

”I cannot be assertive”

 

This is the root, not the story about what happened. 

It is the idea that you couldn’t be you, held back, repressed/ suppressed. 

Suffering/ unsatisfactoriness.

 

“I need to get love & security from ________ so I cannot be _________. “
 

[Loop]

 

[Loop]

If you don’t feel comfortable questioning a community/ relationship you are involved in out of fear, most likely the best thing to do is to leave, & uncover what attracted you there. 
 

If someone gets reactive to the questioning itself, that is coming from unprocessed ‘ammunition’, trauma & repression that gets triggered. If this is coming from a so call teacher, they are not integrated, & I wouldn’t spend time near them. 

“I have to be the one who knows.”

This is a drive that can be very deeply buried, but can surface in different ways, such as being reactive to being questioned. Resorting to name calling, or critiquing someones character rather than their actual points. Bullying, & also playing the victim. 
 

 

I feel there are a lot of archetypes that could be relevant here, like the bully & victim, but I feel these two have good potential for insight. 
 

[Loop]

———— Expression ————

This — Compulsion — That

———— Repression ————

 

[Loop]

I used to get migraines almost every week throughout my childhood, until a couple years ago I used vagus nerve techniques to calm it down. Slowly I started being able to regulate them, until I could shut it down. 

Recently I have begun to see, it has to do with believing thoughts.
It isn’t that the pain is the migraine, the migraine is what the thought “I should kill myself.” feels like. 

I started getting migraines after I had no friends, because the ones who I was with were bullying me. Then they basically kicked me out of their group. Terrifying to a child in school, feels very unsafe to be without friends. 
 

This community has help me heal from this, I am very grateful & love all you guys. 
 

[Loop]

You can’t uncreate dis-ease, but you can create well-being.

There is no uncreating, but there is allowing patience.

 

As long as there is searching for, the dis-ease goes unrecognized. 
When there isn’t, the natural cycles of healing are noticed more.

 

[Loop]

If we don’t feel the burn of the thought believed, what arises is spider webbing around thinking the thought it something you have to get rid of, or ignore.

🕸️

 

[Loop]

You have the option to fight with the oppression, fighting fire with fire, but really we can use water to heal. 
 

Depression is avoided from projected onto a seeming world. This reservoir of sorrow is where healing, embodiment, & the foundation for alinement with Source is manifest.

 

Repression/ suppression of the depression is what allows dis-ease to arises. 

Expression is how we heal the root cause.

 

Fight the trauma war by regulating your nervous system, let go of the oppresser in the system. This is what is really needed, with an alined system we then can tackle the weight on the world together. Releasing the war & violence from our nervous system is what will bring peace. Not debating, not defending, not running. Just Being, without any reason. 

Love.

🤍

💧

🔥

 

[Loop]

Take back your power,
It might seem there was/ is oppression, 

But take back your power,

It might seem there is a you stuck in depression/ repression,

Take back the power,

It might seem there is a you, or another who “Should take responsibility.”,

The power is there,

Let go of all authority,

Fall in love, 

Intuition is the line, 

The path of no-time. 

 

❤️‍🔥

🌊

 

[Loop]

Teal has transcended & included the Green rage. 
 

“It isn’t fair that I had to be sick because of trauma & repression.”

 

Rather than blaming anyone for it. 
Blame always has some kind of double-bind included in it, & transitioning from Green allows that double bind to come into balance. This is the level which you use to create the foundation for your house. Let the bubble be balanced. Then let it be popped.  

It seems like two bubbles, let it be, stay on one side for a bit, then go to the other side, until it is unveiled  that there is one bubble, not moved, crated, or destroyed, unveiled. You cannot force balance, you can’t integrate just by thinking everything is One, you cannot find the middle way because it already was there, in the seeming both. 
 

🩵

🔥

💚

🤮

 

Edited September 11, 2023 by Loop

[Loop]

 

Go down and find lost packages of energy stuck in lower stages,

Find the lost children and return them to the Unborn. 
 

Edited September 11, 2023 by Loop

[Loop]

You see me now, a veteran
Of a thousand psychic wars
I've been living on the edge so long
Where the winds of limbo roar
And I'm young enough to look at
And far too old to see
All the scars are on the inside

 

I'm not sure that there's anything left of me

 

Don't let these shakes go on
It's time we had a break from it
It's time we had some leave
We've been living in the flames
We've been eating up our brains
Oh, please, don't let these shakes go on

 

You ask me why I'm weary
Why I can't speak to you
You blame me for my silence
Say it's time I changed and grew
But the war's still going on, dear
And there's no end that I know
And I can't say I'm forever

 

I can't say if we're ever gonna be free

 

Don't let these shakes go on
It's time we had a break from it
It's time we had some leave
We've been living in the flames
We've been eating up our brains
Oh, please, don't let these shakes go on

 

You see me now a veteran
Of a thousand psychic wars
My energy's spent at last
And my armor is destroyed
I have used up all my weapons
And I'm helpless and bereaved
Wounds are all I'm made of

 

Did I hear you say that this is victory?

 

Don't let these shakes go on
It's time we had a break from it
Send me to the rear
Where the tides of madness swell
And been sliding into Hell
Oh, please, don't let these shakes go on

Don't let these shakes go on
Don't let these shakes go on

 

[Loop]

We gaslight ourselves into believing something is physical.

This is one of the main mechanisms of repression.

 

Meditate for a bit, then,

Ask the body: “This isn’t physical.”

See how the body moves, check for energy around contractions & numbness to move. 

Hold space for what arises, don’t just try to let go of the identification right away, we need to process it fully, then the self-referential nature can be seen through. 
The body-mind is not going to let something go just because it was noticed there was identification. It seem to take time, care & attention to ourselves. 

Allow the “I am” to become a beautiful mirror,

This is your sword that will cut through the repression,

Then we can fully drop the identification. 
 

Stage Turquoise is all about this wobbling between integral-holistic identification, & trans-personal, or non-identification.
Stage Indigo stabilizes in non-perspective as the Ground,

The One True Soul. 

 
Let us grow our gardens, everyone of us is our own Earth. 
This is soul consciousness, or Turquoise.
 

[Loop]

We can go back,

It is ok to repeat something,

We can heal,

Connect with the Earth.

It is ok to be afraid of the Loop,

Throwing the hot potato back & forward,

Until you notice it,

The shaking stops,

By power, not force. 
 

[Loop]

The Vortex is when you integrate the nervous system with Freedom, allowing both sides of the duality their turn to loop. 
 

Freedom 🔁 Safety

 

This is the pattern, we say it is freedom vs safety, but it is really freedom + safety.

The nervous system grounds us in our body, intuition, and yes, the need for safety.

 

The more the body-mind is allowed to be, both the safety & freedom of Groundedness, the more the Vortex is embodied in you.

 

Let us create a safer more loving planet, by letting go of the veil of repression. 

 

🌪️