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I don’t like when things are not planned

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I noticed it’s very difficult for me to pivot when a friend msgs me to “do something tonight”, and I already planned to just stay home.


For example, this weekend I didn’t make any plans. I had a session with my therapist (for 3 hours), it finished at 4. My friend msg-ed me in the afternoon if I want to go to the beach with her in the evening. Because I already planned for tonight that I would do my laundry, clean my place, register for an exam.. even though technically I am free.. I really rather just stay home. A part of me does really want to see her, because it will be fun. But then another part really feels like it will screw over my weekend. So basically for the last hour I’ve been really torn between the two. I think I truly do prefer things planned…. like a week in advance….

Is it normal? What is this inner conflict I have right now? 


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There's no right answer. I'd accept the possibility of staying home and being bored, or going to beach and being behind all weekend. Flip a coin if you absolutely can't decide, if you're disappointed with the result, you know what you really wanted. Do whatever as long as you align with the decision. 


Life is best with great inspired planning and equally great and willing spontaneity. 😁

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‘Wakin up’ is much bigger picture / all encompassing than you could think. Reality can’t really magically fill in ‘around you’ if you’re in control. So to speak, when you start wakin up, the dream (reality) is as well. Or perhaps better said, already is. Situations & people start showin up outta the woodwork. It‘s all directly related to what you want. Like the movie Yes Man.


But the key is resolving, not solving. If there is ‘held’ to be a conflict there is ‘held’ a need to solve it, like if there is a problem there is a solution needed. The resolve is readily available in the already factor. That there isn’t that conflict like there isn’t a problem already


Look into these ‘parts of you’. Inspecting in a literal manor sheds light. Additionally in terms of resolving ‘inner conflict’ between ‘parts’, is acknowledging the underlying emotion and therein receiving the guidance (clarity) of it.


And of course, the ‘me’ who the thoughts are on behalf of, for who it’s difficult, isn’t actually you. Me, my, mine, myself, for me, I know… question who these are about. Like literally look around and wonder, ‘who am I saying these things about? Where is that?’ 



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