heartdominance Posted May 30, 2023 Share Posted May 30, 2023 Book I: Chapter: Cycles of change, the unforgiving tolerance of a cold winter and... Turning back the clock to rewire Title: Thus spoke, the mirror of parental time Summary: If being cannot learn to love their mother and father more deeply than anything else, how can they learn to love themselves much less the entire universe with great depth? Or does one deny their creator and therefore themselves with such impenetrable depth that their very perception is of the greatest depth of shallow-hood that merely has the illusion of such depth, even though its mastery can only be compared to that of the worst examples? So much of my nervous system Has been created by your cold wisdom The measurement of our distance Their tolerated sounds I told myself made sense Standing and reaching, standing and reaching Working and teaching, working and teaching In every observation, a counting of my own steps Of my own emotional preservation, distance now my precept Buying love was in the depth of my own understanding Tying myself to a cross, a self-sacrifice if I wanted to stay to try to be outstanding If I won you over I lost myself, if I found myself I lost you A compromise on the merry-go-round that would leave its mark That now takes me back to the start Of understanding the footsteps of time and how they cycle in being to explain the point of this march To re-balance myself while honoring you, to pat myself on the back for my duty paid while struggling to forgive myself for not achieving more How could I when it felt a lot of the time you did not want me to truly soar? It was this endless unresolvable dissonance which would sew knots into knots that would invariably create this present emotional chore Where I slowly weave back... and weave back.... the ticks tocks of time that sent me blind in order to truly preserve the deep love I have for you and that I deepen further in this moment as a son to his father, and what about, and whereabouts, his maaaaarther? A clock of distance, the multiplicity of sounds from this hyper-dimensional compass No wonder why we have so many problems in the world, father... and dear mother, etching through the directionless Who in your union within my nervous system I re-learn how to become and then To transcend.... To ascend Analysis: The attachment complex of the human nervous system creates the fabric of the society we live in and weaves the spider web of fragmentation to dissociation to secure social securities that pave the way to the next social invention that reflects the harmony versus chaos in the transition between tribe and tribal with globe and intercontinental globalization. In the midst of our great technological breakthroughs, human attachment plays a hidden role throughout political discourse and its surmising warnings versus good promises which are reflected in the type of governance and the impact that this has on families and the parenthood they knowingly/unknowingly embody to rebirth societies values through their imprinted example on who will become earth's future leaders in politics to spirituality to technology. "Earth" really is "Family" and "Family" really does become "Earth"... Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartdominance Posted May 30, 2023 Author Share Posted May 30, 2023 No I am not a loser who gets help from ChatGPT to write their journal. Though I would have used it in school to beguile in order to survive through what became a non-zero sum (educational) game. This is certainly of course one of the things I now dislike about this technology, I have to preface some of my words with this and implicitly get less credit for my neural fruit produce just by the mere fact of its existence. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartdominance Posted May 30, 2023 Author Share Posted May 30, 2023 Book II: Chapter: In the dark we fight with just as confused ideologies on the origins and nature of self that now have a life of their own Title: Of this world, it begins as me Summary: How do people fathom the confidence outside their own perpetual delusion to be so adamant about what exists beyond their own consciousness, the existence of their own consciousness itself and too, to somehow believe that the inverse is a more tenable position (solipsism)? Is the positionless too much dissonance as a starting position (because that’s what consciousness is given we’re always appearing and appearance is a flickering weighed against time)? Is it too much of a struggle to be adamant about your own delusional propensities or does it feel too insecure to stand strongly and courageously here just as it is to take in the inhumanity of the world and in oneself and seek to properly order it towards something that we have discerned as our greater humanity? Throw the anxiety out the window and just “be”, stop thinking about the principles of reality when you’re in a very anxious mood or in any analogous mood that is going to create thinking which generates a handicapped world ruled by “Prophetic Neuroticism”, and isn’t it already? Beneath the sight onto the sound I feel the hum much more than hear and see what’s found A consciousness, blasphemy Consciousness and its mappings Happenings in its coordinates of time It’s all, that confides beyond blind The ineptitude of capacities Perhaps the world was best without its tenacities God become synonymous with warcrimes And the turn of a dollar, something we associated with greed instead of love with a spine Light thus becomes the greatest credibility In a world that has turned against itself for all its incredulities All because they tried to see and hear the starting point Rather than feel it, in the heart too, and see it instead as something we see through Rather than with (that’s what we count at least our 5 senses for), and we do this even too without the wisdom of forgiveness or its proper use, a world from a distance, so green and blue Held within, life so true Truth… This is what they wanted deep down, But all they got, was a Donald Trump clown Kim Jong Un, and oh I forgot, Vladimir Putin, Un, deux, trois DIS GUY MUST BE A ALIEN OR SUTIN! Life made profound by Hollywood, and yet most live it by the sound of the emotional gun shot wounds of early Brooklyn, New York Jerry Springer, great truth talk Death (Jerry) by pancreatic cancer But we’re still here, learning to be more spiritually unified so we don’t do that to earth Deserve? Multiplicity but the singularity of a starting position, To understand the generators upon experience more than trying to label experience is the access point to getting more than just an audience members commission To live by the spine that makes the truth of life and therefore its greatest goodness for its greatest goodness is always affirming in the symmetry between the design of organism and the design of creation Hornet to coward Bull to reckless Universal exploration through synaptic cohesion But not more so as to not start all those above necessary belief wars, Than the understanding of our starting position Otherwise the truth like an ape locked in a cage We will never understand that theory of evolution is clearly false rational rage Created because humankind was unable to accept their misunderstanding Our century delusion has been rather, outstanding Round of applause Analysis: Confuse a being about what or who they are and they will never understand themselves much less their place in this world beyond the torment created by generations before us due to such well placed confusion we will have to learn to both deeply understand and forgive in order to release ourselves not even into some higher liberation of alien consciousness but just simply getting along as human beings and treating one another with deserved respect, dignity and the common sense of sovereignty. In fact, confuse this being, much worse have this being motivate themselves relentlessly to confuse themselves on their own accord and you won’t need a guard to stand by their now self imposed prison that we as a world have created for ourselves and our now misdirected compass. For we have not put self-understanding at the deepest possible level (as more important than merely first) and deeper still beyond any perception we have therein as our main imperative and yet not lost in the arrogance of the authority of this position. For who are we even if we never evolved from apes (we didn't by the way and its very easy to prove) but less hairier creatures that just have intelligence that is merely high due to regression towards the mean from a small sample size of sentience if we take not even the greater scope of universal intelligence into consideration but merely look at the level of intelligence in a single falling autumn leaf. We're a very confused society and this gives predators in spirituality, entrepreneurship and otherwise a license to take their arrogance, their meager greater intelligence which because its in a confused state, to then confuse another being even more about their own nature that upon success in the implantation of their performative yet even sometimes creative delusion, they believe their own fabrications even Christmasmore. We are going to be creating an entirely new species on Mars and I don’t even mean this biologically even though this is going to be the case inevitably, I mean this ideologically, and... THANK GOD we are! Honestly, thank absolute God that we're already motioning here very tentatively so we can get our starting position right and treat it more than just a house of cards that falls over but do so with a sense of pride and dignity where all the military honor which was, and granted still is, all good natured and is intrinsic to the functioning of our social DNA, now actually gets to have a proper existential spiritual purpose where the Pope looks part alien (inevitably that's where we're going, a (in part) digital Pope though?). Where heroism doesn’t have to mean taking a grenade and exploding our body into millions of pieces but instead is reflected in the ambition of our intelligence and the altruism of its creativity. If we thread the needle of belief and sew it right, and not lose track of where we began to sew, right around Kim, Donald, Vlad and even the good intentions of father Christmas and instead into something a little more Bach, Da Vinci and Dali; and heck, with everything becoming so digital surely we won't forget the wisdom of Pavarotti too? This will make a little more sense in light of what's coming up next. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartdominance Posted May 30, 2023 Author Share Posted May 30, 2023 Book III: Chapter: When two gods meet, sometimes they don’t say goodbye in a very godly but rather doggedly manner Title: Learning to see in an unrelenting fourth dimensional darkness called love. Summary: Mirror, mirror on the wall who is the lightest of them all? What shows me the deepest truth and sends refraction's back to the start to reignite the present? There is no error in the metaphor of the self, as it learns to communicate solely through the brainwaves of the supposed “childish” notion of soul, which to its inverse is actually the childish notion of rationalism where such a label is given to soul and the same too for any category we have placed upon our understanding of consciousness, self and together self-existence where it misplaces cohesion and substitutes looking for greater integration with expediency, efficiency and productivity. Self and soul are isomorphic when there is clear communication within being and stupefy one another when they are in competition from ignorance. Knowledge is not present when we merely stand with one foot and arms outstretched on the ledge of our rationality even though it seems “logically true” just as much as creativity is not always present when divergence is used as the only and final tool of a creative production that required its impetus to begin with. Rationality to divergence are married to one another as much as creativity to convergence and emotionality to not yet to be adequately described other and alternate energetic aspects of being are married to one another that in “cohesion of the masses here”, we have the eloquence of the universe attempting to articulate its existence into being through the creativity its provided the makeup of us as likely one of many sentiences still learning to find cohesion of, in and with the cosmos, and that’s just in this third dimensional reality, we know very little of the growing evidence there is of the fourth dimension and how to align ourselves with it. Such is love and Interstellar. Mourning the times where you watched me bleed out until death What agony slipped inside me in my sleep to want to dream about such living nightmares I basked in the sun of watching you bathe in the pain you envisioned The moon of strategic beauty that howled the right path of seamless wisdom is what I called darkness and your irrational stabs in my back the holy grail of God I was totally and utterly unbeknownst to the rationality that the moon wanted me to walk a masochist because of how much I loved and still do even when you treat me the worst out of anyone in my whole entire life When I push away all the goodness that the moon wants to show me, all the women that want to be with me, even the evil ones on top of all the angels I feel guilty for letting ago (and an idiot) that would probably out do you when it comes to the brush strokes of sadism from you the Moaning Lisa, orgasming on my pain I wanted to heal you, and this makes me feel like a preacher, even though yes, I did… I wanted to be a teacher Maybe you sensed that as well, maybe you sensed my need for control in order to control the pain I experienced from you, then you pushed just as hard in the opposite direction Causing us both, a deep wound from misdirection Our grand misperception became a cosmic deception in our own worlds where our delusion had to reign supreme in order to protect us both, even if that meant stabbing ourselves in the heart, in order to survive This is why…. This is why I of course have to question my own rationality as well as jointly the supposed heroism of the good intentions of my own heart Because they’ve both been wrong I’ve misplaced one or the other at different times, And now we’ve reached this story between us called our lives that as now gone on for seemingly so long That we both feel, beyond the skin of this life and into past ones at least when we haven’t closed our genealogical blinds In our confusion, we wore masks Even though beneath them we were telling our truth I wonder what would have happened if we just kept them off If we allowed one another to just keep seeing through Rather than being a part of the slumber party that is the rest of human existence basking in their myopic shallow glory if incompatibility with any sex not just the opposite sex Where we didn’t have to go on any analogous “Ashley Madison” site because we didn’t get bored with one another, because we believed in the myopia of the truth being to great and untouchable to explain the wonder of our own love However frightening it became for the both of us I know, I know, it was certainly more than lust I have those described (see the previous poem) emotional gunshot wounds to prove it And I still don’t know what I’m going to do other than continue to follow the truth As, I still have my youth Now its all just… Wisdom, that I would do all over again, have you inflict the same pain, if it meant I got to fall to fall in love Even if, no matter how many women have now already gone by since our absence from another, I never love again especially not to those depths For, if I really did love at those incredible depths that I imagined myself within the power of my own consciousness and the rawness of being, well, its probably going to take a few more lifetimes to be totally done with you out of my nervous system What is left in this lifetime? I don’t know, I really don’t Just the truth, following with the love my nervous system has learned to actualize up to this point and taking in the growth I frontier and evolve the world around me with Analysis: In book I, I have begun the journey of integrating the experiences I’ve had to date with my father and I do not conclude that adventure as I include the greater nature of spirituality that holds his life beyond this one and too the conduit that exists between where he is now and my place in this universe along with its use as a bridge of communication between us. In book II, it this the beginning of integrating my the greater notion of universe with self in both the theoretical and cosmic experiential spiritual sense, where the former is the synaptic abstract aptitude of brain over matter-non-materiality and the latter is the force will within being that articulates itself through the greater scope of the integrated energetic lines I point to in the summary here of the beginning of book III. Book III, is tying knot, where Book I is serving the synthesis and greater template of how I reason through, more deeply experience and understand a relationship in this case with my father, and Book II is the bridge between the worlds of the social and the single identity, Book III the biographical merging with the psychological experience of identity itself where “identity” points not to western materialism in its myopic encasing of the average consumer but instead where identity points the very visceral feeling and therefore spine of first person experience that runs adjacent to all the generators that exist upon our experience that will be in different ways elaborated on all three books. Book III has the most rawness to it in the case of what is single to identity in its experience in the present moment, it doesn’t live from plans but instead puts its bucket in the well of present experience that lives in the bottom of the deepest chasm of the present moment in order to draw its inspiration from darkness to light and hopefully, some wisdom I get to give myself after the gun smoke has evaporated enough as it makes its way towards the heights of the clouds above, to prepare for the ambitious day what we have intelligently phrased as “sentient experience” and have surprisingly, and thankfully might I had, not yet culturally bastardized by creating the unintelligent associations that plague many of our other intelligent ideas from religion to war to money to capitalism to even brain and heart, or as I began associationally, “soul”. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartdominance Posted May 30, 2023 Author Share Posted May 30, 2023 Book IV: Introductory synopsis: So yes, we’ve arrived at a book four which is the reflection of the first three books used as a funnel into the formation and ultimately, invention of a new original language solely by the hands of my own consciousness. In each book, there is the slow, prudent, self-aware and even courageous discovery process of the processes of being that produce the so called self-governance we refer to as our sentient experience. This sentience of course, is the formal formatting that drives any perception of sentience in the way it’s referred to in the “Analysis” section of the previous entry of Book III. This area of my journalling is going to be a mind numbingly tedious process of evaluation that is nonetheless still transformative to the extent that I make progress and that I am able to successfully impart knowledge that at the very least, drives inspiration for fellow sentience acknowledge its own sovereignty enough that it charters its own discovery process relative to its self-derived purpose for continuing its existence in this spiritual plane. Before begin, there are a few assumptions that we need to take for granted in order to comprehend the significance of this abstract theoretical but nonetheless extremely, extremely practical venture into consciousness and out of it into the flow of using the architectured language derived from the wisdom generated upon the deeper intelligent reflection on ones biographical and self-aware experience, from sentience recalled to sentience transformed when recall is bridged with intelligence that communicates the truest design of consciousness. And those assumptions are: (1) Language is not just the language we produce to communicate about our experience but there exists a language that speaks to the truth of how consciousness operates and best operates according to an idealised advanced understanding of being just as we know a Ferrari from right oil to tyres to motor and so on and so fourth, imagine the Ferrari were sentient and in order to maintain those things in balance all it needed to do was self-communicate to those areas in a language that overlapped best with its functioning rather than say if it grew up with the native language of an old Datsun simply because it was adopted by a Datsun family after being abandoned as a child. (2) In understanding that we can use our native language to orient consciousness across a spectrum of growth trajectories and mediums of experiences through the plethora of possible imaginative concerts exercised solely within the confines of ones mind and that this associational i..e neural network is merely just at the cusp of the potential of what can be accomplished through language, we can agree that its entirely implied that if a more advanced language is constructed by a being because its more sophisticated than what its surrounding culture was capable of creating, this will have direct positive correspondence in the achievement of higher levels of growth in consciousness possible through language. (3) Language is multi-generative in the sense that it has multiple generators of consciousness that utilise language symbiotically to communicate experience to itself i.e. at a bare ice minimum emotion and thought, because of this it is multi-dimensional, aka one to two to three to four dimensions and more plus even other modalities. We have not come close to even really generating a three-dimensional language in fact most of our communication is 2 dimensional, analogously and literally speaking, which is why most people have such shallow perceptions and conversations that past threshold of “acceptable dialogue”, which is also why Jerry Springer would still be pretty damn big in some parts of the world where it wasn’t big because they were being like lab rats. A final assumption then is of course, if we want a more advanced language that therefore advances our consciousness in a more direct and constant way, we most create a language where the limits of its design is at a bare minimum three dimensional and at a progressive limit at a bare minimum four and beyond dimensions. (4) It is not “good enough” to merely rely on a minimum that involves being on the edge of the continual expansion of our imaginative frontiers, no absolutely not, instead we must see the truth of our limits and shed away what no longer promises a positive future with the truth of the growth trajectory that we must align with in consequence of the social language parameters we must employ at a bare minimum in relationship with ourselves even if no one else wishes to learn our language but trust me, you will find people that will though only those advanced enough and aligned enough with their own personal trajectory upon which you will also encounter yourself learning their language. That is, of course… What we do all the fucking time when we encounter one another in understanding how our nervous systems to date have responded to, learned from and grown from experience. We take in the life of another individual and to the limits of our learning capacities we model their experience and make their wisdom our own even if they’re not even aware of their own lived wisdom that we’re learning, it really just depends on how advanced our own modelling capacities have been developed upon our experience. Chapter: This first letter, I cry and cry and cry, what on earth are you going to be even though I believe I have you figured out already, do I have you synchronised? Title: The letter “A”, right now, at bay, but let's get to the Pope's briefing before he calls Gods spell from the linguistic multidimensional heavens Summary: To look inward, while simultaneously looking outward with eyes closed and ears blocked but awareness wide open, so I can see the subtlest details of being and hear the echo’s created by those physical structures in order to be self-informed of their own architecture. This continuous feedback loop starts as a rabbit hole that feels like its going absolutely no where but with a flicker and a flicker there plus the memory that being also has to feedback loop simultaneously, slowly, beyond the mere appearance and “show of it” native intelligence begins to bridge the pieces together and patterns begin to overlap to forge, what we know, as our first letter of language, which can be none other, than our first letter of being itself. In this maze, you’ll get lost if you just call it mental Stuck in that daze, and too if you just call it sentimental, both are just rentals In singularity of one and two but if you make them three and call the third symbiosis then you’ll break free through the prison bars of those temples Symbiosis meets symbiosis then we have at least four or if you were starting again three just remembering the former set and calling it six and seven Trying… trying… to make it to heaven Its in our DNA, like I said calling the right wars in previous poems above and getting the patriotic connotations right, then it becomes a symbiotic fight Worth living for, in the abstract now, forevermore in the tall, orders of the march Part, close, reopen again, continual revisitations and that’s what we call the tenacity that wins Where eyes continue to reopen not on the false communication of language but in the winning of sentience over the culture within that no longer exists the minute one finds that all its cultural language does is sins Ears wide apart now as the letters and their communication become more advanced Calling each other from longer and longer distances at faster and faster abstract speeds and connective unities in this universal dance Between the ears, one, two and finally See right through Languageless Is the only position (reflecting on the second poem here) to begin the only language that drives communication not just to and with the tongue but to all of being Seeing, therefore, all the channels that makeup all of our potential and its higher ascension, now fleeing All the clutches of falsity, albeit good intentioned folk having a gander on life with the tools of language afforded to us up to this point (though sometimes, a little too inappropriately; aka sinfully) in history Juxtaposed, your in more than just a mental paradise but a sentient one that no longer precludes all the absent of necessary understandings like emotional ones that makeup our greater unified comprehension of existence That’s, how the universe wants us to use the word, persistence Analysis: Alright, so I haven’t given away the first letter yet fully, I need to spend more time contemplating the dimensionality of the letter. In short, its needless to say going to invariably include the simultaneous awareness of the heart, our conscious experience, informational flow through consciousness including the dream space in waking consciousness and more but, I’d rather be systematically loose right now before I dive head first tomorrow into the deeper depths of more unforgiving precision that is required here in my personal delineation, aka what the fuck is the full architecture of nervous system and how does that overlap directly with an all encompassing communication system utilised through conscious awareness via its generation of an “ultimate language of communication” (even if its just self-communication)? Some basic questions for me that I’ve already began work on, how is the language going to look, sound like, what are these so called alternate, greater and higher dimensions of the language going to look like and how are they going to work together? And of course, some basic questions like “what is the purpose of existence” is some very important foundational work to ground everything properly in a step by step relationship with progressing forward in a rational way and on a rational growth trajectory. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartdominance Posted May 30, 2023 Author Share Posted May 30, 2023 Preparing for my PhD in physics at ETH Zurich (rated as or close to #11 best university in the world for 2023) where Einstein went, commencing 2024. (only thing that will fold this plan is if love overturns my decision / or something equivalent to the power love aye) [ best/highest-world-ranking non-english speaking uni I could find on Earth for my personal Everest challenge, minus our future alien inhabitation on Mars xoxo ] I don't at all speak (Swiss) German but it won't take me long to learn, I mean fuck, look at Book IV (see above) right, once that's done shit I'll handle any language with ease as I'll be self-communicating the most sophisticated language known to man (at least the one known to me). Doin it just to have that street cred right, a PhD in physics gives me perceived authority in so many other areas, should easily finish it within the same year. A lot of their higher progs are english anyway but I'll just do it in German to be a *amazin* ha, to get that awesome "Call of Duty" game winning kill shot, which is why I'm not going to Harvard, I want a deeper cultural shock plus will force greater creativity in me and if I really want that cred could just go after for another year right, even fucking teach there (Harvard that is, though I'd prefer Oxford and that's rated as number one thus year anyway) for a year ha that's even better! Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartdominance Posted May 30, 2023 Author Share Posted May 30, 2023 53 minutes ago, heartdominance said: Preparing for my PhD in physics at ETH Zurich (rated as or close to #11 best university in the world for 2023) where Einstein went, commencing 2024. (only thing that will fold this plan is if love overturns my decision / or something equivalent to the power love aye) [ best/highest-world-ranking non-english speaking uni I could find on Earth for my personal Everest challenge, minus our future alien inhabitation on Mars xoxo ] I don't at all speak (Swiss) German but it won't take me long to learn, I mean fuck, look at Book IV (see above) right, once that's done shit I'll handle any language with ease as I'll be self-communicating the most sophisticated language known to man (at least the one known to me). Doin it just to have that street cred right, a PhD in physics gives me perceived authority in so many other areas, should easily finish it within the same year. A lot of their higher progs are english anyway but I'll just do it in German to be a *amazin* ha, to get that awesome "Call of Duty" game winning kill shot, which is why I'm not going to Harvard, I want a deeper cultural shock plus will force greater creativity in me and if I really want that cred could just go after for another year right, even fucking teach there (Harvard that is, though I'd prefer Oxford and that's rated as number one thus year anyway) for a year ha that's even better! CAPO FATSO UNI RANK INFLATION Concerning directly above... My spider senses are through the fucking roof there (over inflated uni rankings meaning my intuition is ETH Zurich at #11 is likely highly UNDER-RANKED) as in I know I'm definitely on the right path including potential alternate future choice selections that have deserved the respect to divert me. I am extremely, extremely suspicious of the educational system in general, I mean the fact that I'm one of the first men in history to uncover so many things that I have and as I'm sharing here with my fourth book above I'm doing any university a favor by attending so wink, wink lots of financial endorsements and positive feedback loops on those rankings just causing massive capitalistic inflation there. And I've decided that I wouldn't teach as I stated as a potential possibility just above haha what a fucking waste of time, I could just do a second PhD full time but as a part time endeavor for fun and likely at Harvard or MIT as I'd likely just begin some entrepreneurship startup there or just build a new starting position for myself there (as I want to live across the planet and have different lives in those differing geographies). After the passing of my father three months ago (needless to say things have been pretty X-Men Armageddon for me there), the world has existed for that period mostly as a fragile child locked in a closet of his own existential misery and so, I need a cultural shock just as much as I need this 4 book existential integration for my psyche to finally meet its next consciousness form for just... the next fucking step for me in this life whatever the fuck it is right (which includes some other science experiments I'm doing on myself later this year which I won't mention in this journal yet). Yeah so fucking The Score (see that film) suspicious like the ending of Swordfish there's definitely a fake body going on for many for these universities analogously speaking minus the Hollywood coolness factor as I don't find their intellectual theaters cool at all for many reasons they don't even deserve the respect for me to go into in light of me spending too much time highlighting their undeserved significance in light of the state of the world which their under-performance has largely contributed a net negative result to at least indirectly compared to where we should be in our advancement as a species. Speaking of spider senses and action hero's am I more Spiderman or batman? My sister would definitely say Spiderman, my ex would say Batman whereas my enemies would probably say either or a cross between the guy from Law Abiding Citizen and Sherlock Holmes aye. For New Readers, skip Sesame Street Psyche Center and go to the beginning of this journal where I begin the more formal Book I, II, III and IV as it'll be commencing each day from here on out. And everything here is written on the Dumbo fly. Big ears, big brains! Love, duv, wuv! Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartdominance Posted May 31, 2023 Author Share Posted May 31, 2023 (edited) Adding this here as its going to give me good priming for my books today, tapping a little more deeply into my "balance between the hemispheres", a very, very fascinating subject: Here is my response on the fly baby three responses down copy and pasted because the link function doesn't work beautifully on this site: "It gives a new meaning to meta-awareness I feel to reach a state of awareness where you are at the very least semi-conscious of physiological states from the brain to the rest of the body inclusive of the heart. In the context of (obsessive) love, I think we need to discriminate between balanced (obsessive) love and imbalanced love. Culture is almost these days the ultimate reflection of imbalance concerning that memetic trend resembling the state of human behaviour, so when it comes to love and cultural reflection I think the statement applies intelligently however where it nonetheless applies unintelligently is in the most obvious place of all, where (obsessive) love is in balance and I think as both self-aware men and women as a natural consequence of our desire for growth when we are in balance our relationship follows this direction as well and we therefore find our love in balance which is going to be completely unique to our relationship dynamic, strengths, weaknesses but also our existential passions so all our life goals and how healthy our relationship is with them. Also, what are we defining as balance and health in the context of life goals, passions and love? Again, we need to view it in the balance of mathematical symmetry and our deeper intuition here and sometimes just due to our personality makeup its going to look extreme to other people however maybe that's just reflecting the heights of our self-actualisation up to that point, what matters is how we are balancing our timing with those metronomes. If you go up to your average musician and say I train with twenty metronomes he'll think that's freaking amazing but if you apply that to the context of a relationship your average person because of their rigid ideas on relationships will think you're insane, imbalanced and so on and so fourth when in reality that's where your relationship is right now and maybe in another 6 months down the line in your relationship you'll be going at a much slower pace perhaps only one metronome but that is just as difficult because you have to get the timing right where you're trying to stay in time with a 10 minute metronome (intuitively so no counting), and they're usually your slow winters curled up in front of a fire reading together having a hot chocolate maybe even preparing very slowly for the spring of a new child. When it comes to relationships I'm not sure that Jung is the best person to be referring to in the absolute sense though at the end fo the day who is and I do always value his insights especially in light of the fact that he had a very successful marriage. What is absolutely true about his inferences is that both men and women can become imbalanced when it comes to love, however to always put "obsessive love" in the category of merely obsessive and not merely just another psychological state to learn from can actually impair someones growth if it is taking them away from their deeper need to explore those greater consciousness states that opens them up to many other creative possibilities. My question to the related people that are in a state of obsessive love is how self aware are they? Because in the venturing into any altered state of consciousness and obsessive love certainly is that, there's going to be the potential for imbalance especially the more extreme it is and so how much learning is actually going on here? Granted, I've been in states of love where I didn't have enough wisdom, self-insight and social guidance on how to handle these states and so much of my exploration was very much like a rollercoaster ride like it is for so many other people but I think especially myself given I am highly open minded and always willing to consider alternate perspectives it was much more difficult for me to seek that guidance as second-hand experience from other people as I've really known someone to the level of trust that I would need to honor their insights on my situation that was also really compatible with understanding, empathizing with and relating to (as in they are very similar to my consciousness and therefore understand my need for self-exploration and self-experimentation) my states of consciousness. My biggest insight from my experiences is that I need much more bodily awareness inclusive of both the aesthetic appreciation of altered states of consciousness inside and outside the context of love but most importantly the kinaesthetic appreciation of what is involved in being directly sensitive to my own state of being which in retrospect would have given me so much more self-insight into my own journey that I missed on because during that really important time of my growth that if I'm to be honest, I kind of fumbled, I was even unbeknownst to myself struggling with hidden wounds I didn't even know I had and we all know in our experiences that love really shows our hidden wounds and that's why we go on that Jungian journey not to avoid obsession but to understand all love behavious that are occurring within our consciousness so that we can have the greatest translation between relationship experience and relationship wisdom. So even though I do agree somewhat, as in there's a definite overlap between obsession and trauma, insert David Goggins, self-awareness including bodily awareness where there is the clear engineering objectification in how we envsion our growth trajectory there with all the left brain intuition as well. In reflecting on my own behaviuor I certainly both extremes, where I had extremely creative periods in the expression of my love and also times where yes, I was certainly too right brained. But the goal shouldn't be to avoid those extremes to me the intelligent goal is certainly just to have the goal of self-insight during the process so that you can use that wisdom as counterweight to what should be an ongoing self-exploration (creativity) in that self-experimentation (scientific). Their duality is what will create the schism we associate with imbalance and their unity will create the "pleasure point", analogous to what has been scientifically associated with states of flow, the union between two brains and I see that's of course what you're directly looking for and all props to you honestly, and what I sense is that you're constantly looking for what is healthiest within yourself in determining what you should follow and what you shouldn't, what intuition you should listen to versus where we just need to be humble let go and take risk in spite of what we feel at least initially uncomfortable with, and I don't think anyone has a better answer to your own inner questions there other than yourself and you being aware of what you want about where your inner self is wanting to take you and that's very Jungian of you and I think there's no surprise then that you're citing Jung here as your guide here and you should follow your own signs and signals as they appear to your conscious mind from your unconscious and counterweight that with no one other than the wisdom you truly believe should be employed there. Thanks for the insights, the colors of this experience have smashed up against those past experiences and some new lights are starting to form there that were previously there a long time ago but there's layers that are speaking to one another in way that reinforces their maturity and growth, appreciation. Context: I am a bit of a wild child, quite literally its just in my DNA. It's worked for my ancestors so, you know, and even on an ancestral note I think I need to grow my intuition on that front in terms of tapping more deeply into my ancestral lineage for guidance in the greater spiritual sense." Edited May 31, 2023 by heartdominance Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartdominance Posted May 31, 2023 Author Share Posted May 31, 2023 2 hours ago, heartdominance said: Adding this here as its going to give me good priming for my books today, tapping a little more deeply into my "balance between the hemispheres", a very, very fascinating subject: Here is my response on the fly baby three responses down copy and pasted because the link function doesn't work beautifully on this site: "It gives a new meaning to meta-awareness I feel to reach a state of awareness where you are at the very least semi-conscious of physiological states from the brain to the rest of the body inclusive of the heart. In the context of (obsessive) love, I think we need to discriminate between balanced (obsessive) love and imbalanced love. Culture is almost these days the ultimate reflection of imbalance concerning that memetic trend resembling the state of human behaviour, so when it comes to love and cultural reflection I think the statement applies intelligently however where it nonetheless applies unintelligently is in the most obvious place of all, where (obsessive) love is in balance and I think as both self-aware men and women as a natural consequence of our desire for growth when we are in balance our relationship follows this direction as well and we therefore find our love in balance which is going to be completely unique to our relationship dynamic, strengths, weaknesses but also our existential passions so all our life goals and how healthy our relationship is with them. Also, what are we defining as balance and health in the context of life goals, passions and love? Again, we need to view it in the balance of mathematical symmetry and our deeper intuition here and sometimes just due to our personality makeup its going to look extreme to other people however maybe that's just reflecting the heights of our self-actualisation up to that point, what matters is how we are balancing our timing with those metronomes. If you go up to your average musician and say I train with twenty metronomes he'll think that's freaking amazing but if you apply that to the context of a relationship your average person because of their rigid ideas on relationships will think you're insane, imbalanced and so on and so fourth when in reality that's where your relationship is right now and maybe in another 6 months down the line in your relationship you'll be going at a much slower pace perhaps only one metronome but that is just as difficult because you have to get the timing right where you're trying to stay in time with a 10 minute metronome (intuitively so no counting), and they're usually your slow winters curled up in front of a fire reading together having a hot chocolate maybe even preparing very slowly for the spring of a new child. When it comes to relationships I'm not sure that Jung is the best person to be referring to in the absolute sense though at the end fo the day who is and I do always value his insights especially in light of the fact that he had a very successful marriage. What is absolutely true about his inferences is that both men and women can become imbalanced when it comes to love, however to always put "obsessive love" in the category of merely obsessive and not merely just another psychological state to learn from can actually impair someones growth if it is taking them away from their deeper need to explore those greater consciousness states that opens them up to many other creative possibilities. My question to the related people that are in a state of obsessive love is how self aware are they? Because in the venturing into any altered state of consciousness and obsessive love certainly is that, there's going to be the potential for imbalance especially the more extreme it is and so how much learning is actually going on here? Granted, I've been in states of love where I didn't have enough wisdom, self-insight and social guidance on how to handle these states and so much of my exploration was very much like a rollercoaster ride like it is for so many other people but I think especially myself given I am highly open minded and always willing to consider alternate perspectives it was much more difficult for me to seek that guidance as second-hand experience from other people as I've really known someone to the level of trust that I would need to honor their insights on my situation that was also really compatible with understanding, empathizing with and relating to (as in they are very similar to my consciousness and therefore understand my need for self-exploration and self-experimentation) my states of consciousness. My biggest insight from my experiences is that I need much more bodily awareness inclusive of both the aesthetic appreciation of altered states of consciousness inside and outside the context of love but most importantly the kinaesthetic appreciation of what is involved in being directly sensitive to my own state of being which in retrospect would have given me so much more self-insight into my own journey that I missed on because during that really important time of my growth that if I'm to be honest, I kind of fumbled, I was even unbeknownst to myself struggling with hidden wounds I didn't even know I had and we all know in our experiences that love really shows our hidden wounds and that's why we go on that Jungian journey not to avoid obsession but to understand all love behavious that are occurring within our consciousness so that we can have the greatest translation between relationship experience and relationship wisdom. So even though I do agree somewhat, as in there's a definite overlap between obsession and trauma, insert David Goggins, self-awareness including bodily awareness where there is the clear engineering objectification in how we envsion our growth trajectory there with all the left brain intuition as well. In reflecting on my own behaviuor I certainly both extremes, where I had extremely creative periods in the expression of my love and also times where yes, I was certainly too right brained. But the goal shouldn't be to avoid those extremes to me the intelligent goal is certainly just to have the goal of self-insight during the process so that you can use that wisdom as counterweight to what should be an ongoing self-exploration (creativity) in that self-experimentation (scientific). Their duality is what will create the schism we associate with imbalance and their unity will create the "pleasure point", analogous to what has been scientifically associated with states of flow, the union between two brains and I see that's of course what you're directly looking for and all props to you honestly, and what I sense is that you're constantly looking for what is healthiest within yourself in determining what you should follow and what you shouldn't, what intuition you should listen to versus where we just need to be humble let go and take risk in spite of what we feel at least initially uncomfortable with, and I don't think anyone has a better answer to your own inner questions there other than yourself and you being aware of what you want about where your inner self is wanting to take you and that's very Jungian of you and I think there's no surprise then that you're citing Jung here as your guide here and you should follow your own signs and signals as they appear to your conscious mind from your unconscious and counterweight that with no one other than the wisdom you truly believe should be employed there. Thanks for the insights, the colors of this experience have smashed up against those past experiences and some new lights are starting to form there that were previously there a long time ago but there's layers that are speaking to one another in way that reinforces their maturity and growth, appreciation. Context: I am a bit of a wild child, quite literally its just in my DNA. It's worked for my ancestors so, you know, and even on an ancestral note I think I need to grow my intuition on that front in terms of tapping more deeply into my ancestral lineage for guidance in the greater spiritual sense." WILD THING - COVER BY HEARTDOMINANCE (see the end of the previous post for context) So I just got back from a cafe and there were these group of asian gals (25ish?) watching me the whole time (privately while the others weren't looking) while I was practicing my body-being awareness as I put it in the quoted text above (previous message) and even when they left as they went in single file past the outside window (again without the others knowing) one by one they did all the non-verbal communication with me as they left (by the way I left not long after and it was amusing because I actively avoided them when I was surprised to see them (and I guess they me too) from a distance as they don't know that right now my hearts taken (see previous posts) unless a special someone comes along and is able to blow me away).... Anyhow.... Well, the rest is history... As soon as I got home for some reason I was just inspired to do this rendition haha, I haven't ever sang this song and I haven't heard it for over 10 or so ish years unless it was on the radio but I seemed to still smash it out of the ballpark even if yeah its a little distorted but who gives a fuck haha its part of the wild and it was done totally on one take with barely any singing the last couple to few weeks even though I've got important projects due soon. Wild... thang... that she is... as am I eheh! You'll love it. And you'll love me. By the way had really powerful insights while at the cafe regarding my books for today, looking forward to sharing later. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartdominance Posted May 31, 2023 Author Share Posted May 31, 2023 (edited) Okay huns and sons I got an unexpected one coming up in the next few hours, yeah I'm doing 1 per day now meaning the next one I'll do and the ones that follow from now on I'll put a bit more effort into during the day. I've already started categorising different genres and songs according to different growth trajectories for my voice for a bit of steamroller motorvation. Tomorrow's is going to be another rocker like Wild Thing in the previous post but I'll be going through the genres overtime, finding the fits and getting that intersection that spells out my own original music releases which I may or may not share on this site in the future (we'll see). Yeah okay I'll just spray it, next up believe it or not later tonight meaning most of yal will just have to listen to it tomorrow. Maybe it'll be humorous because I'll be doing a low voice version, I got Michael Jordan guiding me spiritually to music stardom haha, he said something about discipline so I'll be here daily now you know with both my books and my music (only one cover per day ----- experimental/explorational purposes). Man in the Mirror By Michael Jackson RELEASED TODAY WITH BOOK IV (So after Book I, II and III TODAY that I haven't started yet as I've just had so much to do, or rather, so many songs to listen and sing to as per how I began this post in the second sentence haha) Coming up in perfect succession from here: Books I, II and III followed by my final synthesis for Book IV. CHECKOUT MY COVER OF WILD THING BY THE TROGGS IN THE PREVIOUS POST, WE ARE ALREADY MOVING ONTO NEW ROCK SONGS TOMORROW THOUGH SO NOT MENTIONING IT AGAIN FROM HERE ON OUT. HEH. Edited May 31, 2023 by heartdominance Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartdominance Posted May 31, 2023 Author Share Posted May 31, 2023 (edited) Alright, I have to listen to wisdom. My darlings, due to social constraints believe it or not optional decorum here that I can follow if I wish to or not because of how accommodating certain persons are... I... yes again, believe it or not, Wild Thing (as per two posts ago), has decided to show love to the tired hearts of those around me and allow them to sleep instead of me screaming lungs out to sing Man In The Mirror before I head to bed. One song per day is enough for this space anyway of course, which means, well, its possible I may not choose to do Man In The Mirror tomorrow but instead another day just to shuffle the cards backs facing up this time so you don't know what to expect. I did promise a rock song and that I will deliver tomorrow, secondly before I end here I did just want to start the days over more formally with the new template of Wim Hof Method > Books > Song > Onto the next day. And follow that rinse and repeat as advised by my spiritual mentor Michael Jordan who in my fantastical rock 'n roll imagination has informed me to follow an extremely disciplined strategic structure and do not bend to it in any way shape or form and thus, that is what I am doing. Introducing my personal creative (or at least part of the way, you'll get the full method more and more as I go along) way of doing... The Wim Hof Method. So, tomorrow, I'm going to be restarting the design of this journal all over (without deleting it, instead I'll just be beginning the template from this post moving forward as the past matters relative to our openness to learning from it) so that I have an unbending template that I follow which now includes discussion on one of my secrets in recovering from my deep depression as well as tweak whereby I'm the only one I know that does this and that is of course, the Wim Hof method, and that tweak that I want to share with you is that I only breath through my nose using the technique, that way I don't experience the lightheadedness and or any negative effects from extending practice, sometimes surpassing for four hours per day. I am sharing this, because I want everyone to be aware of why I am personally recovering from my depression since the passing of my father and that it isn't due to the fact that I'm amazing in anyway other than I am following a disciplined daily routine with the Wim Hof method and disciplined implementation is what it demands and in return what reality then demands of itself, is that you are now cured from any depression you have as well as giving you an entirely new gateway into accessing and processing traumatic experiences relative to the success that the Wim Hof method can uniquely give you which I hope it gives you just as much as it gives me. Even though I have a dominant nature, I have an incredibly sensitive nervous system where during the day I'm taking in so, so many strange, unique, obscure, chaotic to amazing energies psychic and otherwise from the world and unbeknownst to me just a few years ago this was the cause of so much of my own depression and connected difficulties including with socialisation even being able to feel and understand my own bodily experiences because of how clogged up it would make me. There is now most definitely a pre and post Wim Hof method world for me, again using my tweak and stating it like this as I don't know how the methods compare even though the difference is only minor other than to say it gives me much more freedom in pursuing the heights of its potential, and I feel responsible for sharing the positive gains I have made so that others have the same opportunity that was given to me to make the same profound changes in their own lives which will only be imaginable after the sum of a couple or so weeks where you begin to really change and feel different aspects of yourself open up in ways you never imagined, healing wounds you never knew could be healed from the beauty and simplicity of the technique along with the very unique experiences it has afforded me which I will now make a part of discussing on a daily basis so that I become an active advocate of what is tried and true for me for as those that know me here you know I would never advocate for something that I wasn't absolutely certain of in my heart of hearts. Much love everyone. I'll see you tomorrow with only one post a day now in my journal, all very structured and by the day more and more returning back to the other side of the full expression of me as my beloved father would have wanted if he were here alive today even though he struggled so much to comprehend different aspects of me that I had to work very deeply to find the empathy for and use as fuel for my own growth which caused me to separate from my father was well as finding a new unity within him regardless as to his perception of me (it enabled the growing of a deep profound love i never imagined I could achieve up until a couple or so years ago that I know I will achieve in the same way with my mother who I want to buy a home for next year and this year will be strategising the means by which I should intelligently grow our relationship overtime). New Structure. New Time. New Mood. New Integration. New future trajectory to look back on... from the future. Edited May 31, 2023 by heartdominance Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartdominance Posted June 1, 2023 Author Share Posted June 1, 2023 (edited) sorry everyone. I am still deeply grieving here. I had a grieving episode in the last hour. I am leaving for another month of grieving, social still isn't a healthy space for me. I am not depressed, however I am still deeply grieving. Thanks everyone for the space to open up, a lot of energies have had to come out and still need to come out. My heart even though I'm not depressed is still experiencing excruciating pain on a physiological level day to day. I now have the right approach and strategy for getting out of that. I don't need sympathy. Just space. Every word still matters. I'm staying away from dating as well, putting my money where my mouth is with respect to my latest principle I shared in my wisdom journal where all words there are deeply, deeply meant and that is how I operate now. I will be precisely back between July 10th and 15th, which will be just after when I'll be meeting one of my brothers for the first time since my fathers funeral. Its a time for more silence, healing and deep therapeutic affirmative and extremely motivated action towards recovery using my own personalised creative version of the Wim Hof Method et al that as promised I will reveal in my journal here day to day upon my return. Enjoy my TEARS IN HEAVEN cover I did just now. Haven't ever tried singing the full song of this, did this on the second take and only ever really "overheard it" on radio never really resonated with the song until now. My voice had to flip into my head register if you notice and compare with the other covers I did just recently. Much love take care. Edited June 1, 2023 by heartdominance Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartdominance Posted June 2, 2023 Author Share Posted June 2, 2023 (edited) CONTROL, REGULATION AND MATURITY OF OUR BRAINWAVES (the main categorised brainwaves so far for those unfamiliar with this area of human understanding are delta, theta, alpha, beta and gamma) I've decided to push on. I realise this just comes down to a controlling of my own brainwaves as I referred to in one of my non-journal posts and for the first time today I am learning how to do that today as well as learning the process of teaching myself how to do that at the same time. My movement forward will be a measure of my own capabilities in this respect. I will resume this journal in the previously self-prescribed way from this point on, the only difference is that for this full month I will only be doing songs that feel like a tribute to my father. I will be re-doing Tears in Heaven in my regular voice later tonight, I switched to my head voice (non-regular voice) automatically (untamed) in last nights rendition as I have not got a handle on the full scale of my regular voice just because I don't practice often, however with this post on the regulation of my own brain waves and general physiological functions, I will bring that to a full change starting from here on out. It's clear my brainwaves have been so messed with in conjunction with the rhythms of my hearts (in the literal sense) function over these last few months. I haven't (1) been aware of the physiological effects these past few months have had on me (2) I haven't had the self-knowledge to be able to regulate my physiological state while also being able to properly to grieve experientially, so there have both been self-knowledge gaps with respect to physiological regulation and where existential recombination to synthesis meets the transformative changes that have been waiting for me to properly implement from everything that has ultimately transpired, and to its ultimate. That changes here where I bring harmony across the spectrum of brainwaves by first moving to a transmutational state I have identified experientially which to me mirrors a theta-alpha-gamma mixture and secondly, delicately develop an increasingly more sophisticated experiential feel for IDEAL STATE incrementally shifting from incongruent felt states via awareness the awareness of state vs the intelligent awareness of openings I can shift to via the self-knowledge regarding the transmutational role of heart, brain, being (+) along with other synchronising tools (one of those actually being a metronome which is a spectacular tool for the brain to have accurate feedback between INNER FELT STATE, the rhythm of ones brainwaves and EXTERNAL REALITY ). Let the journey of self-mastery here for this point of my growth begin. Edited June 2, 2023 by heartdominance Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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