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Letting go of doubt


noomii

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I experience so much doubt about what I even need to do to heal. 

I don't know what practice I should be doing to relax. I don't feel any relief from meditation as usual.

There's so much doubt most days and I've been trying to let go of doubtful thoughts. 

 

There is so much thoughts/worry most of the time about all tasks I need to do. I'm really tired of to-do lists and pushing myself to be productive, it just feels so bad and I don't get much done at all.

I spend a lot of time distracting myself unconsciously, or just ruminating. 

I think I'm in some kind of freeze mode most of the time and time is passing by so quickly.

 

I worry a lot that I won't enjoy and relax this summer, that I will be isolated and not be doing things I want. I doubt what I even want to be doing this summer and I doubt my ability to manifest what I want.

I doubt my ability to do most things.

 

I've been trying to avoid blaming digestive conditions and heavy metal toxicity for any symptoms. 

It's easy to believe some symptoms I experience are caused by something (other than me just focused on discordant beliefs). Fundamentally no symptom is caused by something, right?

A lot of people with the same experience as me are blaming conditions and are mostly focused on physical healing.

 

I just want to relax. How can I relax?

I don't know what to ask other than that but I'm happy to receive any advice that can help me see this from a new perspective. 🙂

 

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23 hours ago, noomii said:

I've been trying to avoid blaming digestive conditions and heavy metal toxicity for any symptoms. 

It's easy to believe some symptoms I experience are caused by something (other than me just focused on discordant beliefs). Fundamentally no symptom is caused by something, right?

A lot of people with the same experience as me are blaming conditions and are mostly focused on physical healing.

Yes, that is always the case. Also be sure to include momentum in regard to manifestation. Experience such as stress, tension, etc does manifest as dis-ease bodily speaking, and does ‘trace back’ to discord (as opposed to alignment). The momentum of ‘a’ manifestation might be such that seeing a doctor or detoxing the body and or products & food wise should be considered too. You might think of it as alignment is now & going forward, and medical assistance with the body and or detoxing addresses accumulated discord / dis-ease. 

 

From reading what you wrote, I don’t think healing is the ideal focus or best way to ‘frame this up’.

I think alignment is. Alignment with actuality. 

 

Feeling, and therein emotion, is never in a future. 

You, are never in a future. 

So if worry or doubt is felt, it’s how the thought feels now. 

It’s guidance. It’s Good. It might not feel great, but that it is guidance to feeling great, and guidance for manifesting - to what you actually want - is awesome. 

 

The ‘separate self’ of thoughts, is never present, and is always a thought about a self (which is not you)… in a past or future.

Therein, the ‘separate self’ of thoughts does not actually exist. 

 

There is not a self which; 

Needs to heal or needs to be healed. 

Experiences emotions ‘most days’. (Only right now.)

Is trying to let go. There is no ‘tryer’. There is nothing one has already, which can be let go.

Spends a lot of time on x, y or z (anything). (There is no self in time. There are thoughts about a ‘second, or separate self’ in time.) 

Does, or, is ‘the doer’. There are the thoughts ‘what I need to do’, ‘all things I have to do’. But there is actually no ‘doer’. 

Needs. Same. There is no ‘needer’. 

Has abilities to manifest things. Manifestation is This. It’s already underway. There is no ‘doer’ of manifestation. 

Is isolated. There is no ‘separate self’ which is… separate from everything else. 

 

If it seems like ‘oh man, I gotta realize or remember all this stuff’ - there’s no ‘realize-er’ or ‘remember-er’ either. 

No one in their right mind so to speak, would make reality so complex or difficult. 

If the guidance (of emotion) is allowed, received, it’s simple. Could not be simpler. 

Very literally - reality could not possibly be ‘made’ any simpler. 

Only thought makes reality seem otherwise. 

Emotion is communicating about the thoughts. 

 

23 hours ago, noomii said:

I just want to relax. How can I relax?

Another word for that, which points to felt (and not a concept or thought about a separate self) is contentment. 

So, express each emotion on the scale, from worry or doubt, to contentment. 

The discordant thoughts will naturally be let go via expression. 

Better feeling thoughts will naturally arise. 

 

Using the scale = acknowledging the emotions are felt now, and not in a future. 

Using the scale = acknowledging the emotions are felt, and are not felt by a thought / separate self of thoughts. 

 

Keep it simple, and feel free to ask any follow up questions afterwards or during. 

 

In short, it is neither a future nor a self which is felt, but thoughts, now. 

Consciously creating does not & can not happen in a future. Only now. 

Neither doubt nor worry can be let go. 

Doubt & worry can be listened to, and discordant thoughts and or beliefs can be let go accordingly. 

This is to put ‘how you feel’, above, as more important, as a higher priority - that what you think or believe. 

This doesn’t mean you’ll be ‘wrong’, only that you’re never right. 

Which is to say, thoughts appear, and no thought is ever true. 

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@Phil

Then I guess I just need to keep focusing on what I've been doing, with feeling. I feel so discouraged about it.

I've tried giving emotional scale a chance several times but it just haven't felt good. I've been letting go of all thoughts of discouragement etc while going through the scale too. One hour of using the whole scale is more or less the same amount of time throughout the day where I just have my attention on feeling, which feels a lot easier probably because I don't push myself in the same way like I do when using the scale.

 

I haven't really understood what to do with contentment on the scale. I've usually just imagined situations I remember where I've felt contentment, but even then the contentment doesn't appear easily.

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The scale isn’t felt, thoughts about the scale are felt. 

 

Expression of emotions experienced is not ‘about myself’.

The thought ‘I feel so discouraged’ feels different than the thought ‘I’m experiencing discouragement’. 

The first is a thought about a self which isn’t you, but is a thought, and so it’s the thought which feels very off. The second is about an emotion experienced.

The first is kind of a dead end of confusion & discord since there aren’t two you’s, the second continues on to expressing blame. 

 

Understanding is like a detour from expression. Like thinking ‘I don’t have time for this because I have to go do this other thing’, while ‘this other thing’ doesn’t actually exist, and is aversion from acknowledging the emotion, and specifically that emotion is how the thoughts feel. That there’s something to understand is the other-than expressing and liberation. 

 

There isn’t anything to ‘do’ per se with contentment.  The thought that contentment doesn’t appear easily is met by the emotion of pessimism. The thought is about a self in a past. Contentment can’t be felt in a past, as of course you aren’t in a past. 

 

Contentment is indicative of self, of peace. It’s the default, when pessimistic feeling thoughts are acknowledged, expressed & therein released / let go. 

 

On 5/4/2023 at 12:24 PM, noomii said:

I experience so much doubt about what I even need to do to heal. 

The belief is doubt is felt about you. (experience so much doubt about what I…)

It isn’t.

Doubt is how the thought feels - to you. 

 

Thoughts about a ‘second self’ are thoughts and not a second self (which needs x, y or z). 

 

Pushing myself’ doesn’t feel off because you are or have been pushing yourself, it feels off because there aren’t two of you (one self pushing a myself). It feels off because it isn’t actually possible. 

It’s just the thought which feels off to you, it’s not actually you that feels off. 

 

Emotion is guidance… to the experiencing of… what is wanted.
Expression of emotions experienced is not ‘about myself’.
It’s just about the expressing, the practice itself.
Keep it simple.

🤍

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