In the vortex

[Kevin]

My entire life I’ve been terrified of talking to strangers/rejection/afraid of talking to girls.

The experience was very frustrating for me. Finally I think I’m past it.

 

In the last month I finally pushed myself to just start talking to girls. It was intermittent though. Some days I felt like I could do it and I would talk to one or two girls. Other days I felt too nervous and I would avoid it and then I would feel bad about it.

 

Then this past weekend I was in Vegas with two of my friends and when I was there I decided to just talk to as many girls as possible. I thought that if I just talked to as many girls as possible then it would stop making me nervous. It didn’t quite work like that though. I still get nervous but the anxiety is really reduced. And honestly each time I went and talked to a girl when I was there I was so stoked afterwards. I didn’t even kiss a girl in Vegas. But it was still awesome. It was like the process itself was the reward.

 

I had some anxiety this morning though. I was worried that I was only able to do that because I was in Vegas. But I’ve talked to three girls today.

 

No success yet but my attitude has been so far. Just the taking action really resonates and whenever it doesn’t work out as I’d hoped, the interactions are overwhelmingly positive. And my attitude is always “god is clearing the way for something better”. Who knows if this new attitude will stick, but it feels like it will.

 

I am super thankful for this forum and I guess I’m also looking for some advice as well. The thought comes up that maybe I could be doing something better. But maybe that’s just doubt. I guess that’s actually clear because all I can be is myself in each moment. I guess I just need to keep doing what I’m doing and it will work eventually.

[Phil]

Take all the action you want, feeling isn’t coming from experience. 

[Kevin]

2 hours ago, Phil said:

Take all the action you want, feeling isn’t coming from experience. 

Yeah it’s fleeting. I guess the lesson is that when I’m feeling good I feel free. Not when I’m free I’ll feel good.

[Phil]

@Kevin

Yes but even more so than fleeting, feeling already isn’t & never was coming from experience. You’re already free. It’s only the illusion that feeling is coming from experience which is fleeting. It’s never actually true. (The Very Good News!) So being already free - do this, that & the other thing! 

 

THIS ADVICE DOES NOT FEEL GOOD. 

[Kevin]

14 minutes ago, Phil said:

@Kevin

Yes but even more so than fleeting, feeling already isn’t & never was coming from experience. You’re already free. It’s only the illusion that feeling is coming from experience which is fleeting. It’s never actually true. (The Very Good News!) So being already free - do this, that & the other thing! 

 

 

14 minutes ago, Phil said:

THIS ADVICE DOES NOT FEEL GOOD. 

What is ⬆️ referring to?

[Phil]

@Kevin

Feeling is not coming from experience. 

Is there an experience of advice happening? Yes.

Does it feel good / is good feeling coming from advice (experience)? No.

[Phil]

If you happen to be on the group calls this weekend, “what is ‘being in the vortex’ “ would be a great discussion! 

[Kevin]

7 minutes ago, Phil said:

@Kevin

Feeling is not coming from experience. 

Is there an experience of advice happening? Yes.

Does it feel good / is good feeling coming from advice (experience)? No.

Oh gotcha. And yes I’ll or sure be in at least one of the calls.