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a little victory


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In the past there has been a lot of self-judgemental thoughts.

 

There still is, but I can take a different path.

 

"I have a monkey mind and I should meditate every day to fix it."

 

"I should fix my breathing."

 

"I should fix my diet."

 

"I should do the emotional scale."

 

etc.

 

Before I used to take those thoughts seriously. I would feel stressed out, try to meditate, try to read a book about correct breathing and diet, try to do the scale. A ton of discord.

 

But now I take a different path. The thought comes. I notice the stress and upset. I notice the judgement "should" and "shouldn't". I notice the belief. I may notice myself googling or reading, trying to fix the problem, trying to do "what I should do", trying to climb the mountain. But I listen to the discord. I notice it is a belief. "I have monkey mind" is a thought. I allow myself to be. I allow the "failure" and "shortcoming" to be. Weirdly enough, awareness returns to here-now.

 

There must be an effortless way.

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