This blew my mind: falling in love

[flowboy]

This blew my mind.

 

Jung states that "falling in love", strong, obsessive infatuation, is actually a person projecting their inner anima or animus, whichever they lack connection with, onto another person.

 

They are merely looking for a lost part of themselves, through the person they are falling in love with.

Think of the "you complete me", "finding your other half" memes in our culture.

 

Childhood trauma causes parts of the brain to be disconnected from the rest, as a self-protection mechanism. The part that is connected to the feelings, memories, talents and gifts of a particular age, is isolated by gates in the brain.

 

Meaning that it will not be connected to conscious awareness, unless it goes into a 'mode' where it takes over. Thus, in normal every day non-triggered life, it is like this part is missing. In fact, feeling empty and like something's missing are very common human afflictions.

 

It's not that they can't come into consciousness, it's that they're disconnected from the rest, and will only express themselves when isolated through an exercise, or when life triggers them to act out.

 

Now what happens when this split is roughly across the left-brain right-brain side, is that someone develops into an unbalanced person, with either lots of masculine right-brain properties, like affinity for math, technology, logic and control, but the feminine left-brain properties are nowhere to be found: like the person is not creative, artistic, intuitive, or emotionally intelligent at all.

 

Or vice versa.

 

Think of the many software engineers who seem to lack emotional or social intelligence, or artistic types who believe they can't do any math.

 

This is skewed development. Their brain is not talking to itself at all levels that it could be.

People go through life with a vague sense of not utilizing their full potential... and it's true.

[Rose]

Isn’t that similar to how “good” girls are attracted to “bad” boys? What really attracts them to the “bad” boys is that freedom they have, how unbothered they seem of being judged, how they can break rules, etc, while the good girl is living in the world of order, fear of being judged or stepping out of the line? We are subconsciously attracted to that which we have denied ourselves.

Edited March 5, 2023 by Rose

[flowboy]

@Rose  I suppose that's the same principle yeah!

 

Similarly I also used to be a good boy attracted to bad girls 😝

[heartdominance]

On 3/4/2023 at 9:11 AM, flowboy said:

This blew my mind.

 

Jung states that "falling in love", strong, obsessive infatuation, is actually a person projecting their inner anima or animus, whichever they lack connection with, onto another person.

 

They are merely looking for a lost part of themselves, through the person they are falling in love with.

Think of the "you complete me", "finding your other half" memes in our culture.

 

Childhood trauma causes parts of the brain to be disconnected from the rest, as a self-protection mechanism. The part that is connected to the feelings, memories, talents and gifts of a particular age, is isolated by gates in the brain.

 

Meaning that it will not be connected to conscious awareness, unless it goes into a 'mode' where it takes over. Thus, in normal every day non-triggered life, it is like this part is missing. In fact, feeling empty and like something's missing are very common human afflictions.

 

It's not that they can't come into consciousness, it's that they're disconnected from the rest, and will only express themselves when isolated through an exercise, or when life triggers them to act out.

 

Now what happens when this split is roughly across the left-brain right-brain side, is that someone develops into an unbalanced person, with either lots of masculine right-brain properties, like affinity for math, technology, logic and control, but the feminine left-brain properties are nowhere to be found: like the person is not creative, artistic, intuitive, or emotionally intelligent at all.

 

Or vice versa.

 

Think of the many software engineers who seem to lack emotional or social intelligence, or artistic types who believe they can't do any math.

 

This is skewed development. Their brain is not talking to itself at all levels that it could be.

People go through life with a vague sense of not utilizing their full potential... and it's true.

 

It gives a new meaning to meta-awareness I feel to reach a state of awareness where you are at the very least semi-conscious of physiological states from the brain to the rest of the body inclusive of the heart.

 

In the context of (obsessive) love, I think we need to discriminate between balanced (obsessive) love and imbalanced love. Culture is almost these days the ultimate reflection of imbalance concerning that memetic trend resembling the state of human behaviour, so when it comes to love and cultural reflection I think the statement applies intelligently however where it nonetheless applies unintelligently is in the most obvious place of all, where (obsessive) love is in balance and I think as both self-aware men and women as a natural consequence of our desire for growth when we are in balance our relationship follows this direction as well and we therefore find our love in balance which is going to be completely unique to our relationship dynamic, strengths, weaknesses but also our existential passions so all our life goals and how healthy our relationship is with them.Also, what are we defining as balance and health in the context of life goals, passions and love? Again, we need to view it in the balance of mathematical symmetry and our deeper intuition here and sometimes just due to our personality makeup its going to look extreme to other people however maybe that's just reflecting the heights of our self-actualisation up to that point, what matters is how we are balancing our timing with those metronomes. If you go up to your average musician and say I train with twenty metronomes he'll think that's freaking amazing but if you apply that to the context of a  relationship your average person because of their rigid ideas on relationships will think you're insane, imbalanced and so on and so fourth when in reality that's where your relationship is right now and maybe in another 6 months down the line in your relationship you'll be going at a much slower pace perhaps only one metronome but that is just as difficult because you have to get the timing right where you're trying to stay in time with a 10 minute metronome (intuitively so no counting), and they're usually your slow winters curled up in front of a fire reading together having a hot chocolate maybe even preparing very slowly for the spring of a new child.

 

When it comes to relationships I'm not sure that Jung is the best person to be referring to in the absolute sense though at the end fo the day who is and I do always value his insights especially in light of the fact that he had a very successful marriage. What is absolutely true about his inferences is that both men and women can become imbalanced when it comes to love, however to always put "obsessive love" in the category of merely obsessive and not merely just another psychological state to learn from can actually impair someones growth if it is taking them away from their deeper need to explore those greater consciousness states that opens them up to many other creative possibilities. My question to the related people that are in a state of obsessive love is how self aware are they? Because in the venturing into any altered state of consciousness and obsessive love certainly is that, there's going to be the potential for imbalance especially the more extreme it is and so how much learning is actually going on here?

 

Granted, I've been in states of love where I didn't have enough wisdom, self-insight and social guidance on how to handle these states and so much of my exploration was very much like a rollercoaster ride like it is for so many other people but I think especially myself given I am highly open minded and always willing to consider alternate perspectives it was much more difficult for me to seek that guidance as second-hand experience from other people as I've really known someone to the level of trust that I would need to honor their insights on my situation that was also really compatible with understanding, empathizing with and relating to (as in they are very similar to my consciousness and therefore understand my need for self-exploration and self-experimentation) my states of consciousness.

 

My biggest insight from my experiences is that I need much more bodily awareness inclusive of both the aesthetic appreciation of altered states of consciousness inside and outside the context of love but most importantly the kinaesthetic appreciation of what is involved in being directly sensitive to my own state of being which in retrospect would have given me so much more self-insight into my own journey that I missed on because during that really important time of my growth that if I'm to be honest, I kind of fumbled, I was even unbeknownst to myself struggling with hidden wounds I didn't even know I had and we all know in our experiences that love really shows our hidden wounds and that's why we go on that Jungian journey not to avoid obsession but to understand all love behavious that are occurring within our consciousness so that we can have the greatest translation between relationship experience and relationship wisdom. So even though I do agree somewhat, as in there's a definite overlap between obsession and trauma, insert David Goggins, self-awareness including bodily awareness where there is the clear engineering objectification in how we envsion our growth trajectory there with all the left brain intuition as well. In reflecting on my own behaviuor I certainly both extremes, where I had extremely creative periods in the expression of my love and also times where yes, I was certainly too right brained. But the goal shouldn't be to avoid those extremes to me the intelligent goal is certainly just to have the goal of self-insight during the process so that you can use that wisdom as counterweight to what should be an ongoing self-exploration (creativity)  in that self-experimentation (scientific). Their duality is what will create the schism we associate with imbalance and their unity will create the "pleasure point", analogous to what has been scientifically associated with states of flow, the union between two brains and I see that's of course what you're directly looking for and all props to you honestly, and what I sense is that you're constantly looking for what is healthiest within yourself in determining what you should follow and what you shouldn't, what intuition you should listen to versus where we just need to be humble let go and take risk in spite of what we feel at least initially uncomfortable with, and I don't think anyone has a better answer to your own inner questions there other than yourself and you being aware of what you want about where your inner self is wanting to take you and that's very Jungian of you and I think there's no surprise then that you're citing Jung here as your guide here and you should follow your own signs and signals as they appear to your conscious mind from your unconscious and counterweight that with no one other than the wisdom you truly believe should be employed there.

 

Thanks for the insights, the colors of this experience have smashed up against those past experiences and some new lights are starting to form there that were previously there a long time ago but there's layers that are speaking to one another in way that reinforces their maturity and growth, appreciation.

 

Context: I am a bit of a wild child, quite literally its just in my DNA. It's worked for my ancestors so, you know, and even on an ancestral note I think I need to grow my intuition on that front in terms of tapping more deeply into my ancestral lineage for guidance in the greater spiritual sense.

 

 

Edited May 31, 2023 by heartdominance

[Phil]

🙂

We’re all falling in love. Or there’s gravity. Seems to depend on interpretation (or not).