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_Confusion between Borderline personality disorder and Psychopathy


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The root cause of BPD is fear of abandonment. 

They will literally do anything to not be abandoned. This is the reason a lot of borderlines are heavily exploited because people sense this neediness in them and take advantage of it. 

Borderlines are generally emotionally blackmailed in relationships. 

Borderlines can also resort to emotional blackmail themselves, however this behavior is a potent sign that they need urgent help because borderlines emotionally manipulating or blackmailing a person is a huge sign that they are not feeling safe in a relationship, that's why resorting to desperate measures, not to control the other person, but to desperately seek their protection or acceptance. 

Such people are toxic to a borderline and instead of resorting to desperate behaviors like lying, cheating, stealing, etc it's best to leave people who don't believe you because such people only serve to dampen your self esteem by first triggering your "threat" response and then calling you a "drama queen" when you are acting desperate and later punishing you thus criminalizing your behavior instead of understanding it. It only serves the purpose of setting you back and making you feel more desperate, vulnerable, frightened, controlled and self destructive. This is a harmful state, not a happy state. You're always made to feel awful about yourself at the expense of your self esteem so that others can feel better about themselves. You are always made to look like the bad guy but it's they who are bullying you and this type of abuse is called reactive abuse that most borderlines are often subjected to. This keeps the borderline in a constant state of panic, stress and confusion. 


Common phrases that borderlines often get to hear from other people include - 




Phrases that a borderline will hear from other people- 



I never said that 


Stop being so sensitive 



You're a drama queen 


You're paranoid 


I never did anything to you


It was just a joke 


You're acting entitled 


You're being a victim. 





Edited by Cupcake
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Posted (edited)


Narcissists might feel slight guilt or remorse when you completely break off with them and leave them. They can't stand the loss of a person, not because they loved that person but because they viewed that person as a commodity and now that commodity is lost, most likely forever. They certainly regret the loss of this community. 





Edited by Cupcake
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Borderlines are imperfect people with deep flaws. 

Three things you might have to deal with if you have a borderline spouse 


- confusion 

- strife 

- conflict 


You won't understand what to do with them. 

You would wonder why they do what they do. 

One pro tip on how to deal with a borderline person/spouse 


- be as non judgmental as possible. Let go of what they say or do and dismiss it as nonsense. Let them keep doing things. Have a sit down and bash them a bit and express anger but not rejection. Let them know that you are pissed off at them. This helps them understand and learn how to not "not trust" you. 



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Posted (edited)

What kind of a spouse would a borderline need?


- someone who has a great heart. Big heart. Understanding. Non - judgemental. 

- someone who has a very complicated mind themselves. Extremely smart and vigilant. So they quickly grasp the struggles of a borderline person. 

- someone who knows how to discipline without letting stuff (that borderlines do) get to themselves. 



Edited by Cupcake
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Posted (edited)

What kind of people should borderlines avoid at all costs? 


- narcissistic people. 

- people who reject/dismiss/ignore/avoid 

- people who attack self worth and self esteem 

- people who trigger them too much 

- people who are generally uncaring and assholes 

- people who act indifferent 

- people who aren't reliable or ready for communication. 

- people who are judgemental 

- people who don't create, trust, support, intimacy or connection. 



Edited by Cupcake
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It's best for me to be with people who are - 



- who are forgiving. 

-  who are gentle with me and understand my wounded and fragile nature. 

-  who give me space and room for growth and improvement because I fuck up a lot and that person has to be able to give me the benefit of the doubt. 

-   who trust me implicitly, not explicitly. Obviously given my unstable weird behavior and nature I don't expect someone to show me explicit trust. So I'll have to work on the explicit trust and that's my job. But what the other person can do is show implicit trust. 

-  someone who doesn't put enormous pressure on me to prove myself because I simply don't have the resources or the energy/capacity. 

- someone who is not very hard to impress and not being too judgemental with me. No critical, uncompassionate, blackmailing, gaslighting, cold, harsh, judgemental, cynical and nitpicking kind of people, these people make my job extremely hard and make everything chaotic and messy in my life. I want it to be a bit busy 

- someone who is not being too cold or distant and willing to communicate through things and allowing greater transparency of emotions and not leaving things unresolved un-responded to. 





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