Experiencing the same issue some years ago, it seemed like a very big shock, at the time. I had a flash of sudden insight, (realization may or may not come like a sudden flash) not through tripping. I haven't ever tried that. It was simply having read hundreds of books from various enlightened beings. I think, jmho, that pursuing a truer alignment with being a being of love since as long as I could remember set me up with a solid foundation. I never felt the need to use a substance that would alter brain chemistry to have an experience which then might be faulty due to altering the organ by which these insights would have to be interpreted. But I learned to be silent from a couple neither of whom had a religious affiliation, who had written a book called "The Journey That Never Was," and taught a course on it. I think it lasted 5 two hour sessions and by then everyone felt they had succeeded and went on their way. I had not meditated before. But the wife that taught their course with her husband had experienced instances of communicating with her inner voice regularly, and she had a wonderful gift of transmitting Love through her teaching. I followed their simple instructions and just did as they said. As we did the meditation, I felt my heart overflowing with Love and Peace. I was not a people person for most of my life until then. But I felt pure inexpressible Love for everyone and everything that made me weep. That was when I felt real Love for the first time. And I felt it like a parent's Love for me, someone who cared deeply for me, like the kind of Love a mother would give her treasured child with a hug.
When I had the sudden flash that nothing was real, it was a few years later. I went into a kind of shock thinking nothing and no one was real. I spent sometime to get over the shock, and even lost my job at the time mainly because I had no interest in being productive just to entertain myself and impress some imaginary people. In order to stop obsessing over it, I eventually had to drop that whole line of thinking and go back to my old way thinking. Only once in a while I still questioned it. I hadn't forgotten it. But at least the obsessing stopped, and I still did meditation.
One day after that I was playing in my backyard with my dog. We played "fetch" and as I waited for her to fetch and bring me her toy, I looked out into the small woods directly behind our house. It was a sunny afternoon and as I looked the trees were bathed in afternoon sun and I studied the leaves and the veins flowing with Life through the almost transparent green and they lit up like they had a bright aura all around them. Then I looked at the trunks and the bark flowing with Life traveling up and down through them, and I saw Life in them and the rocks as well. They too seemed alive and even intelligent. Everywhere I looked there was Life throbbing right through every object. And in a moment I knew that the Life I saw was me. The people walking past on the sidewalk were me. I was Life and they were all, all things, were me. It made me almost giddy with happiness and Love for them all. We were all one. Everything and I were connected and completely one, unified and blessed with Life that flowed through everything and loved everything. That was the moment when I no longer felt like an isolated being and no longer felt lost and lonely. That moment was a gift to me. Of course my dog barked and broke the spell, but that happiness stayed with me ever since. This is a true story and I hope perhaps it helps you to see what you're not seeing when you obsess on solipsism.
And just one small observation here: I don't think Leo's teaching is from the point of view of transmitting Love. He seems to have little empathy and teaches the mechanics from a very analytical viewpoint. When I go to his forum, if I go there, I usually feel negative energy and a bit of depression afterward. I rarely feel inspired or uplifted and often feel that Leo has not yet experienced the emotion of deep unconditional Love. Some may connect with the analytical side more. I'm analytical myself and he makes good arguments for some things, but I don't feel it at my heart level. As I said, just my observation.
