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Posts posted by Links
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On 7/14/2022 at 7:52 AM, Someone here said:
I enjoy the habit
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So how do I make the decision to stop once and for all ?
What's the important thing: enjoyment or smoking?
There's thousands of ways to experience enjoyment, only a few ways to smoke. Contemplate on all the resources you put into your smoking: money, time (including in your reduced life expectancy), reduced health. You can get just as much pleasure by swapping smoking for something else, something fun, creative, adventurous and exciting. Use the money you'll save and start a new sport, hobby, holidays or even self-development. The first few months may not be easy till you've healed the addiction, but if you occupy yourself with a full life, and have other ways to deal with stress and anxiety, I reckon you'll never look back.
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On 7/14/2022 at 1:43 PM, Someone here said:
Because I'm not exercising my masculinity enough in my life. By that I mean I'm not showing enough masculine traits .I'm irresponsible and childish in my behaviour in general. I'm 24 but I'm still immature.
There's a lot in modern society which strives to keep us in a youthful state, to postpone growing up. Developing toughness and courage is a worthy aim. One way is to take on some responsibility - do you have much responsibility and leadership in your life? At home or work, where you have some ownership and control of the situation, and other people are relying on you.
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On 7/14/2022 at 2:06 AM, Faith said:
Women for the last 50 years have had "federal" protection to a right to privacy, including having an abortion, since it is a medical procedure.
Why would they want a state, county or city to have the right to take that privacy away when they had federal protection?
Reversing Roe v Wade ended the federal protection that gave women the constitional right to have an abortion.
Maybe I'm not understanding your point.
Yes it looks like I'm misunderstanding. When you say privacy, does that mean the doctor-patient confidentiality? So unless the federal govt steps in, the state govt can help itself to your medical records? And the reason why states couldn't stop abortions under Roe vs Wade was because they didn't know who was having them?
I guess this will always be a hotly contested issue, as long as there's a mixture of conservatives and liberals. My point was, if the decision is made by the central govt for the whole country (whichever way it goes), that's a big chunk of the country which feels aggrieved. I expect this ruling isn't the end of the story.
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On 7/2/2022 at 5:13 PM, Phil said:
- constitutional right to abortion.
- Almost half the states are expected to outlaw or severely restrict abortion
I'm not from the USA so the whole legal, political, constitutional and social context isn't too familiar to me. But here in the UK we do have a related issue to the question of where the political decision-making should reside: with the Union or the Nations (States). Where should sovereignty reside? This isn't just about abortion as a moral right-or-wrong, it's also about where that determination is made. That's a broader issue than just abortion of course, it applies to every political and legal question.
So as I see it, this latest ruling doesn't say whether abortion is right or wrong, it just devolves it to a more local level. In that regard, it would appear to be more democratic, as it better recognises the diversity which exists in the Union.
If you leave decisions up to the central govt, you're taking the risk that they might go the other way and ban abortion (or other action) across the whole country. To those who value freedom of choice, why not argue that in fact, this judgement doesn't go far enough. Let's delegate the law down further to county or city level, perhaps with referendums. What's the reason for having it at state level in particular?
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I heard that addictions like this affect the brain pleasure receptors, the drug interferes with our body's production of neurotransmitters, hence the craving when nicotine level drops. No wonder that reason and logic are swept aside by the primal force of craving for pleasure. A short term hit of feeling, or a sensible long term restraint? It's so easy to give in just one more time, isn't it!
I used to smoke too, quite enjoyed it apart from the guilt of damaging my health, the smoker's cough, reduction of fitness and sense of taste and smell, and the cost. Cutting down didn't really help, I lacked the will power (this was before vaping). In the end I deconditioned myself by chain smoking till I felt sick and didn't want another one for a few days.
But there must be plenty of ways to quit these days, if you do really want to. Good luck and take care. My mum offered to take me to the pathology dept of the hospital where she worked, to see all the specimens of dead smokers' bodies! In the end it wasn't necessary because I went to see Body_Worlds . I can't forget the sight of lungs full of tar and cancer !
https://bodyworlds.com/about/philosophy/ warning - not for the faint hearted!
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@Eothasian Like a child tests their parent, to check they are really loved ... oh boy yes that's true! I sure know it.
It reminds me of a therapy called Transactional Analysis, using a model of Parent, Adult and Child. The parent and adult, standing with the child. Then, when the child feels secure love, he/she can 'let go' of dependency and fear.
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On 6/29/2022 at 10:56 AM, Someone here said:
Like I'm not man enough. Or I'm not worthy enough of having great things in my life because I'm a lazy ass who wastes his time everyday smoking and playing video games instead of working on my career and goals etc . So I feel like I'm not putting in much effort into crafting the life I truly want . And you know..you always get in life what you put into it .and I'm not putting much. So I'm not getting the desired results.
It sounds like you're resisting and sabotaging your own dreams by being lazy for some reason. I wonder if there's some practice which can help to find and expose your feelings causing the resistance. What have you tried? I can only suggest from my own experience, so may be biased (sorry). It sounds like you had a rough childhood, so maybe some counselling, therapy, journalling, contemplation or meditation. Do you have anxiety (I may be mixing you up with someone else)? I do, and avoidance is a habit I've got into over the years. Trying to avoid the anxiety by avoiding the activities. In excess,it leads to avoiding life, unfortunately.
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Culadasa expands on 'letting go', his phrase is 'let it come, let it be, let it go'. Suggesting that these things want space to express themselves and to be felt in awareness before they're ready to go.
What if the self-referential and discordant thoughts are symptoms of some old, buried, non-verbalised trauma? The hurt coming out via these apparently random, micro-aggressive thoughts? Maybe if we pay attention and watch with patient compassion we will notice the feeling that's generating the thought.
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On 6/8/2022 at 4:09 AM, Godishere said:
Did any of you who are "Self Realized" have a difficult time accepting things as they actually are after enlightenment?
I don't have any grand titles for myself or anyone else like 'self realised' or 'enlightened' or even 'God' lol, those are just thoughts, stories. But life became easier when I realised the paradox, that when I try to accept things as they are, I am making an effort to change (ie not accept) the part of me which is resisting. If non-acceptance is present, then that too is just what's happening. That's the actuality. So now I don't try to accept the situation, but I allow the difficulties to express themselves too. They pass away and contentment returns, but I must still have work to do, because although suffering is impermanent, yet it recurs in patterns. My anxiety for example, is triggered again by my conditioning responding to an external situation. It's just how things are.
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On 6/15/2022 at 9:06 AM, Blessed2 said:
Might sound like I'm bashing and judging myself, but this is actually super positive. I give up. And it feels way better.
What have you given up, the bashing and judging? Yes, giving up and letting go can be such a relief. There's an equanimity in realising you don't have to do anything, obey anyone, be anyone in particular. If you're accepting the outcome, without bashing or judging anyone else either. Really we're all sinking ships, the whole world is a chaotic mess, the entire universe is sinking into the 'heat death' of entropy. But it's beautiful and lovely too.
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On 6/11/2022 at 7:32 PM, Forza21 said:
How to make big decisions?
How do you know, what you really want?
Any advice please?When I get a big decision knocking on my door and I need to get in touch with my deep feelings, I find I need to get out of my normal routine and spend time by myself, going for a long walk in nature and letting my mind expand into the landscape and sky. It frees me from the everyday petty activities and their conditioned, narrow thought patterns and the feelings can come up into consciousness. It's as if the decisions are already taken, deep down, but I need to open up the choppy surface layers to see what's really going on for me.
One time when I was stuck in a difficult situation with an ex, I took off for a fortnight to Wales, walking, hostelling and journalling, going through my whole life, giving myself permission to allow all the feelings to come up, and deciding how to come into alignment with them. It was a pivotal moment, my life changed direction from then, being in alignment with my feelings gave me the strength to go through with some big changes. I've always been a walker, but ever since then I've really appreciated the value of connecting with nature to find my own nature.
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12 minutes ago, Phil said:
I hope someone let science know it’s finally been found. 😅 🍾
Ha ha, that's good but things aren't found. They're created as thoughts / distinctions. But ofc in my case it's only a figure of speech, not a real thing! [With apologies for the side-track].
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On 6/4/2022 at 10:06 PM, Phil said:
Communion follows the realization emotion can not be overcome.
Makes perfect sense after contemplation.
The thing is, emotions happen by themselves, it's like the body doing its functions and 'emotion' is the name we give to it when seeing it subjectively. So to be a living organism is to be a survival mechanism, and fear of death is a natural long-evolved part of our survival strategy. If we didn't fear illness, accidents, death etc then it's likely that we wouldn't be here because our ancestors wouldn't have survived. It also goes by the name of flight/fight/freeze response, and occurs in the brain stem, the 'reptile brain' which is outside the conscious control of the executive function (the owner, doer, thinker etc).
But, @Someone here these systems aren't perfect, unfortunately some of us have overactive fff responses so experience raised symptoms of fear, anxiety, anger, obsessions etc. It's painful. And the response is to try and make it stop, go away. Mere thoughts can start off the cycle of hormone release, emotion, thought.
Fear, then aversion to the fear, and the struggle between them. It's painful. Trying to stop the fear is trying to kill a part of yourself, that's just as authentically you as the you which wants to do the stopping. So the answer I'm still practising (using headspace as a tool) is to just try and relax into the emotions, to accept rather than reject them. Feelings come and go, the body can't sustain high levels of anxiety forever, but the pattern remains, it gets triggered again later on. So I don't try to control my emotions but instead try to practise feeling relaxed in their presence, so at least I'm not starting up that civil war within myself again.
There's short term tactics to deal with fears too of course, breathing exercises, medication etc. But I'm not aware of any quick cures rather than the long term practices of facing the fears and lowering the tensions using repeated application of awareness.
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It's like this all comes as a package: thoughts >> thinker >> thinker inhabiting the fleshy body, separate from it and wants to survive after body death (incarnation/reincarnation).
Inbetween thoughts, then doesn't it all stop? No thoughts, no thinker, no body, birth nor death. No incarnation nor reincarnation. Reincarnation is when the thinker thinks again, or in your explanation @Phil the dreamer dreams. In my case, it's hundreds of times per day 😄
Although I'm reluctant to guess other people's intentions, I suspect this isn't what most folks are after when asking about reincarnation. There's a wondering about what the experience will be like when the body dies. Will the mind continue? I have no memory of experience or awareness prior to the form of Links and it's interesting to read about what happens to people under hypnosis, regression etc. I can't really answer questions about predicting the future or explaining the past, to which I have no evidence. -
On 5/13/2022 at 4:39 PM, Phil said:
Reincarnation is a thought.
Because reincarnation is about the future and the past. What exists now (in this idea) is incarnation. Reincarnation (re-incarnation) is a thought about the repetition of incarnation.So, do we know what incarnation is? Literally it means "Embodied in flesh; given a bodily, especially a human, form; personified." But what is embodied, is there a 'you' inside your body? If so then perhaps this 'you' can inhabit other bodies before & after this one. But if the duality of self and body is questioned, the issues of incarnation and re-incarnation are likewise questioned.
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Welcome to my lounge (ok journal if you prefer), feel free to visit and stay a while, even to join in the conversation if you wish, or just chill and read.
I just saw this post from Phil and it brought up some ideas that've been rolling round in my mind these last few months."Levels & states of consciousness is rhetoric and in this case conjecture."
https://community.actualityofbeing.com/topic/60-my-thoughts-of-leo-and-actualizeorg-what-do-you-think/page/66/
It all started back in December in another forum far away, when I had a little exchange with Phil. I'd rather unfairly commented that a post of his was a little cryptic and proceeded to explain my studies into Diana Winston's Spectrum of Awareness practice with its 3 different types of awareness. Naturally, he came right back at me calling my ideas cryptic and confusing.
I deserved that of course (sorry @Phil ), but ever since I've been contemplating by observing the structure of my awareness. I mean, schools of meditation often describe different qualities of awareness like attention, focus, unfocus. Diana calls it focused awareness, choiceless awareness and natural awareness. Or Culadasa (John Yates) in The Mind Illuminated: focussed attention and peripheral awareness. I still see that as a correct and useful perspective; I can pay attention to something as a part of my field of awareness, such as the breath, the words on the page, another person etc. That's a way of creating the distinctions within the whole field of consciousness which create 'things'. When I pay attention to reading the text (holding it in the centre of my vision), the rest of the room fades out of focus into the background, the periphery.
I have also made some posts about 'pointing', where words point to the object of their meaning. Bringing these together, I had a sudden observation that my awareness is in fact often structured with a directionality. Call it states if you like, but when I think thoughts of me, inner self, mind, consciousness, subjectivity etc, then awareness is pointing inwards. Conversely, when I think thoughts of the world, physicality, others, the outer, objectivity, etc then it's awareness pointing outwards. Is this the difference between object/subject?When awareness is not pointing either way, then it's in the nondual or mystical state of wholeness. As this is still a work in progress, I've not yet had a clear view of awareness pointing in both directions at the same time. I'm not yet sure if that's possible or not, or whether it rapidly alternates to create the illusion of a separation between self & other, but I'll keep looking.
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On 4/28/2022 at 10:43 PM, Zeroguy said:
Interested in hearing your answers.
I can't help being curious, are you asking because you're thinking of becoming a dad, or are you already?
One way life's changed for me is becoming much more plugged into the local community. Like the old saying, it takes a village to raise a child. I chat with all sorts of people like neighbours, teachers, even got involved in the local church in a non-religious way because of the family activities (and I'm a pretty anxious sort of person in social situations). I suddenly saw the point of stage blue, the mutual support of extended family, local community, having playdates etc.
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One meal a day was the rule in the Theravada Buddhist monastery I went to on a retreat. No way I could have done it by myself, but with the support of everyone else I got used to it. I was surprised how much time it frees up to do other stuff and for the first few days I was obsessively thinking about food when I got hungry, I reckon this is an instinctive reaction. Made me realise how much I eat just out of habit rather than need.
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It's so good to have a section for family & parenting! I guess this thread is more for the children's pov tho I'm now a dad and trying to take a more conscious and deliberate approach to this work. There was a lot to unlearn from how I thought it would be, and how I was parented myself. When stuff happens in the moment, we need more than a theoretical understanding. It's a practice just like spirituality, and one of my main tools is therapeutic_parenting
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On 3/22/2022 at 9:26 PM, Orb said:
Random insight, no relationships, only expression! 😌
What's expressing, or is it just pure expression of nothing?
Alternative idea: it's all distinctions + relationships, all the way down. What's making the distinctions, is it thought? If there's no distinctions being made, there's no need for relationship is there?Distinctions are expressions of pure being, carved up by whatever's making the distinctions. So perhaps we're in agreement here.
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It's a valid observation that the way we look on the outside affects how we think & feel inside, even a simple thing like a haircut. I guess the industry knows this so it pushes lots of products onto us. But the main thing is to love ourselves however we are.
Supreme Court overturns Roe v. Wade
in Friendship, Dating, Relationships, Family, Parenting & Sexuality
Posted · Edited by Links
Ah, I think I understand, tho it seems like it might appear a bit of a legal technicality to opponents of abortion in states where it's outlawed. I guess most countries have laws for police to obtain warrants to get protected information for serious investigations.
It's like a power struggle between the state authorities and the federal. Inevitable really when there's different levels of government with opposing views.