Orb Posted October 19, 2022 Share Posted October 19, 2022 (edited) Through my interactions with people i've finally felt into the root of the "off" feeling that comes up. The root of insecurity, inferiority, and fear in all of my social interactions is the feeling of abandonment. It all started when I was a little kid, at 3 years old my parents split up and suddenly I wasnt living with them anymore, I was living with another family member for a year and a half. During this time in my life I felt something was wrong with me because I didnt have my parents. During the special events in school where parents would show up to watch their kids my parents never showed up, and I felt abandoned deep down. Although, im very grateful that my other family member did show up, god bless her for being there for me. Ever since that time in childhood that feeling of abandonment was suppressed and Its still felt now. Its hard to articulate this feeling but im sure anyone in a similar situation can understand. It feels like being a piece of garbage that no one really wants. Because of this feeling, I dont feel like im anywhere wherever I am. Like if im with a group of friends, I feel like nothing I say/do matters because I was abandoned. Its frustrating trying to articulate this, I hope this makes some sense. I feel like I am never standing on my own two feet, like my presence means nothing, like im powerless. Great things are unfolding for me, and I am becoming more and more amazed at how loving and kind people can be. Like Im letting go of this fear of rejection/abandonment, and a lot of people in my life are beginning to guide me, people who I wouldve never imagined. Edited October 19, 2022 by Orb Quote Mention "I shall give you what no eye has seen, and what no ear has heard, and what no hand has touched, and what has never entered into the human heart. "-Jesus (Gospel of St. Thomas) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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