Books/tools on Learning to say no and being assertive

[Earthchild]

What are your best book recommendations for learning assertiveness, stating what you want and saying no to things you don’t want without feeling guilty? 

[Phil]

Here’s a few with explanations of specific ares they address. See if one jumps out at you. 

https://positivepsychology.com/assertiveness-books/

 

I’d also give the Body-Feeling Awareness meditations a look. I think some dots will connect in terms of letting discordant thoughts go, and certainty & assuredness being found in feeling / grounding. 

 

Suggestions that come to mind…

Make a dreamboard. See your ‘why’ plainly & clearly. 

Use the emotional scale multiple times a day. Don’t overthink it, keep it simple. See that it is a tool for letting discordant thoughts go, and allowing more aligned better feeling thoughts. 

 

Exercise & meditate every morning. Lift the energy so to speak, and allow the thought activity of ol’ to settle. (Aka getting out of one’s own way / willingness to let discordant thoughts go and feel what one is feeling / non-aversion).

 

Empowerment = I am feeling what I am thinking, and I can change what I am thinking. 

Feel how good that feels. Bring a thought like that to mind, keep feeling it. Then bring any thought of fear, doubt, etc up to meet with that feeling. Very empowering. You are the power which disintegrates the discord. But you gotta bring it in as close as possible, not resist or avert. The more you do, the more natural confidence, grounded ness and assuredness you feel & experience. 

 

Also, appreciation is very key. Start with the tiniest of things. An example…

Was looking at my rear view mirror on my truck this morning and really appreciated how ridiculously useful it is to have those on each side of a vehicle. Much more though, I was thinking thank God I don’t have those!