Causing More Harm Than Good

[Finitude]

A coworker was visibly suffering. 

 

I asked what's the matter and she said she'd been experiencing panic attacks all morning. After listing, I told her she can get some distance between herself and the anxiety by noticing the anxiety is appearing in her consciousness, but it's not actually her, that she can do an investigation into her own experience and find relief by untangling the anxiety from herself. 

 

This absolutely did not help and destabilized her sending her further into a panic, heavy breathing, etc. ...

 

The lesson: DO NOT share these things casually, even in situations like this where help is the intent. 

 

I could have just listened to her and told her if she needs someone to talk to I'll listen, which, would be sharing my being and loving this human in silence, rather that attempting to help her dismantle the root system of her anxiety. 

 

I felt so horrible. Total discord. 

[Mandy]

@Finitude 🤗 I love tonglen https://www.lionsroar.com/how-to-practice-tonglen/ reiki 1 (and ultimately reiki 2) if you're interested in tools to handle stuff like this. You can shift vibrations without logically explaining or communicating verbally. Even then there is no assertion (they have to want to and receive relief)... you cannot do it for them. Let yourself off the hook. Healing is not dismantling someone else for them, the only dismantling  we get to do is of ourselves. 

[Phil]

That you can’t cause good is arguably the greatest insight. 

Maybe it’s that there isn’t a separate self which could be destabilized.

So hard to say. 

 

As you stated, you asked, then listened. Stop being so hard on yourself. 

For a deeper understanding of purification see movie: The Exorcist. 

Godspeed. 

[Finitude]

@Mandy

 

Thank you! 

 

@Phil

 

Thank you, too!

[Finitude]

@Devin

 

Yes, like inviting their discord in and allowing it to rest there.